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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think fuck it and send DS to his dads anyway?

31 replies

folterbank · 01/07/2021 12:23

DS was meant to go to his dads last week, and it was his birthday on Saturday. But he was isolating until Sunday. He was meant to go this weekend instead but today I got a message from his school saying he has to isolate again! As well as most of year 10.
He's obviously very annoyed as he was only back for 3 days after isolating for 10!

He hasn't been to his dads since the very start of June either. His step sibling is also isolating (they go to the same school).

Aibu to think fuck it and send him to his dads (if his dad and partner is fine with it of course)?

OP posts:
ReginaaPhalange · 01/07/2021 12:33

I wouldn't personally but ultimately it's between you and his dad. Do what's best for your family and not what strangers on Mumsnet say Wink.

Original poster
folterbank · 01/07/2021 12:40

Just to add, we've followed every restriction up until now. But I don't know what to do for the best!

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/07/2021 12:40

Is step sibling same year?

If DS and his dad are happy, ill let them crack on. The only 'risk' is DS developing symptoms, and two households having to isolate instead of one.

Original poster
folterbank · 01/07/2021 12:44

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Is step sibling same year?

If DS and his dad are happy, ill let them crack on. The only 'risk' is DS developing symptoms, and two households having to isolate instead of one.

No, his stepsibling is in the year below.
OP posts:
Iwonder08 · 01/07/2021 12:49

I would send him

Danikm151 · 01/07/2021 12:50

I think you you decide that you are now a household bubble and as long as you go by car just take him. It's not fair on any of the kids.

Sycamoretrees · 01/07/2021 12:50

I would send him too.

MoiraNotRuby · 01/07/2021 12:50

What would DS rather do?

ChocOrange1 · 01/07/2021 12:50

I assumed children were allowed to move between their parents homes when self isolating, like they have been all through lockdowns etc. I would definitely send him assuming they're happy to have him

Youdiditanyway · 01/07/2021 12:52

I don’t think they are allowed to still move between houses. If you’re isolating, you’re supposed to remain in one house and not leave for any reason unless it’s an emergency of course.

I’d send him though personally.

steakandcheeseplease · 01/07/2021 12:53

I would.

cadburyegg · 01/07/2021 12:53

I'm pretty sure they are allowed to isolate at whichever home. If he tested positive at any point then he'd have to stay put though

rainbowdashsneeze · 01/07/2021 12:54

I would send him 100%

TiredButDancing · 01/07/2021 13:00

I don't think this is even outside of the rules? Children are allowed to be at both parents' houses. The only issue would be that if he developed symptoms, you and his dad (and step mother and step siblings) would all have to self isolate, vs just you. But honestly, the chances are low and it's crazy for a child not to be able to see the people in their bubble.

Onehotmess · 01/07/2021 13:06

If you are happy / he is happy to isolate at Dads for 10 days then do it. I don’t think I’d be ferrying him back and to during that period but certainly 1 trip is reasonable.

Original poster
folterbank · 01/07/2021 13:21

@ChocOrange1

I assumed children were allowed to move between their parents homes when self isolating, like they have been all through lockdowns etc. I would definitely send him assuming they're happy to have him
I didn't think this was allowed as that's why he didn't go last week and a few months ago he was sent home on the Friday and he isolated at his dads and he came back to me when his isolation was up.

DS does want to go.

OP posts:
Derbee · 01/07/2021 13:25

I would send him.

The health secretary has been fucking someone from a different household in the height of the pandemic.

The prime minister has been having BBQs on the beach with multiple strangers.

There are thousands of football and tennis fans going to matches etc.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 01/07/2021 13:27

I'd get him to do a flow test and then send him if it's negative. Would the other household be willing to test before he goes as well?

I've just tried to look to see what the rules are here but it's all so confusing with different rules on different dates!

JustLyra · 01/07/2021 13:30

It’s allowed for kids to move between parents houses, it’s just not recommended.

If dad and step mum are happy with it then given their house is isolating anyway I would.

Viviennemary · 01/07/2021 13:31

Yes. It's getting ridiculous. If they're happy send him.

Seren20 · 01/07/2021 13:41

I also thought the COVID rules weren’t supposed to affect these sort of arrangements?

I’d say get him to do a test and (provided it’s negative) send him to his Dad’s.

I really feel for your son, I’m sure he’s pretty annoyed with having to isolate twice over only days apart. I don’t really understand how useful the whole school bubble thing to be honest!

PurpleyBlue · 01/07/2021 14:23

If everyone in dad's house is ok with it then I don't see why not.

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 01/07/2021 14:25

My children have been to their dad’s whilst isolating.

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 01/07/2021 14:26

I also thought the COVID rules weren’t supposed to affect these sort of arrangements?

They don’t generally except if isolating in which case you’re supposed to stay in one house. I didn’t realise this at first.

Blacktothepink · 01/07/2021 14:26

I would!