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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder will I be the only Yr 6 parent to buy a teacher gift

52 replies

Cherrychocchip · 30/06/2021 13:03

So last few weeks of primary for me, ever! When my eldest left I bought gifts for the teachers and wrote a lovely cars. I was so grateful for the amazing support they had offered at the time. They went over and above.
Fast forward to now in covid times I don't have a particular issue with the class teachers themselves but am very disappointed with how the year is ended. I'm far from the only one. Someone set up a messenger class chat and the school have been absolutely roasted on it.
No leaving hoodies, no camping on field as a class, no leavers assembly, no other class trips organised. Nothing whatsoever. Despite this if I think about not buying anything I feel guilty but yet if I do I think they could have done more!
Am hearing of other local schools doing trips etc and not just saying no because it's covid!

OP posts:

Clickbait · 30/06/2021 13:06

It does sound as if your school has been pretty rubbish. It's probably not the class teacher's decision though (more likely to be the head I'd have thought?) so personally I'd still give a present.

FionnulaTheCooler · 30/06/2021 13:07

It won't have been the class teacher's decision to cancel trips, etc. If you don't want to buy a gift don't buy one but it seems petty to "punish" the teacher for things beyond their control.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 30/06/2021 13:08

Op don't bother.

RainingZen · 30/06/2021 13:11

That's rubbish. My DD's school have organised a whole load of additional events for the kids to make up for what Y6 missed both last year and this year. In fairness the PTA have helped out a lot too with the plans and providing chaperone for pyjama party school sleepover etc.

However two wrongs don't make a right. A card and a nice bottle of wine seems like a fairly simple gesture.

SummerHouse · 30/06/2021 13:13

My DS has had the most amazing teachers this year. I will be going all out to make sure they know that I know that and so does DS.

They are both utterly brilliant and the profession would be poorer without them. I like to ask DS which is his favourite of the two. I get a head tilt and "which is your favourite child?"

What the school has done, or hasn't done, is a separate issue.

Have they been a good teacher?

covidcloser · 30/06/2021 13:14

DS left primary last week and I got his teacher a gift. None of this is her fault and she has been amazing in very trying times. Fully deserved thank you imo.

clarepetal · 30/06/2021 13:15

I think you are being a bit harsh. The teachers have gone beyond and above over lockdown, I do admit I am also gutted that there are things my son has missed at school~ we can't watch his sports day, this annoys me after watching crowds going to football.
I do understand if other schools have arranged things, I'd like to know how. Before covid did the school arrange things?

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 30/06/2021 13:17

That does suck OP. Mine aren't year 6 yet but the school have made sure they get an away trip (albeit only 2 nights in a local camp site). Leavers day, Hoodies etc. Even last year they made a real effort with the year 6s and they got a mini party on the school field with their parents and got to do a mini version of all the usual leaving bits.

That said, like you, I doubt it's the teacher's fault. They've probably had as tough a time as anyone and I'd be making them feel appreciated.

Nogoodusername · 30/06/2021 13:17

Tricky. I can’t imagine it is the class teachers decision, it will be a decision taken by the senior leadership team/ Head (it certainly has been in my school.) Are leavers hoodies generally organised by school? Here, Year 6 parents do them. Can you ask why nothing has been organised?

Original poster

Cherrychocchip · 30/06/2021 13:48

The school normally do loads. It's all since covid. All parents have organised hoodies and a day out for the class.
But I get It's probably not the teacher's fault but if they felt so strongly about giving Yr6 a good send off surely they could have made more of a stand!
I'm really torn.

OP posts:

HelplessProcrastinator · 30/06/2021 13:48

Well our school doesn’t have a field so a lovely school camp out was never a thing here. However our school has busted a gut to put on year 6 activities. Hoodies are being provided free of charge as lots of families have been hit financially, they’re having a presentation ceremony and playground BBQ party funded by the PTA, and an activity trip out for the year group. The teachers have tried so hard to give them an enjoyable end to year 6. Any restrictions will not be the teachers decision.

cupsofcoffee · 30/06/2021 14:01

Why does COVID mean they can't provide Leavers hoodies or do a Leavers Assembly?

It sounds like they're just making excuses tbh. I can see why they're not doing the camping trip, but they could at least do something.

Orf1abc · 30/06/2021 14:05

But I get It's probably not the teacher's fault but if they felt so strongly about giving Yr6 a good send off surely they could have made more of a stand!

What do you want them to do, chain themselves to the railings?

Original poster

Cherrychocchip · 30/06/2021 14:12

No obviously but maybe make practical suggestions about how covid safe activities could have gone ahead.

OP posts:

Todaytomorrowyesterday · 30/06/2021 14:17

In our school the parents have organised leaver hoodies, year book, end of term celebrations (bouncy castle etc) & a PayPal collection for teachers, TA, heads/deputy & office staff.

In the school it’s always been the responsibility of the parents- in non covid times it must be stressful enough for teachers to organise & be responsible for these things on top of usual school activities?

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 30/06/2021 14:19

To be fair I don't see why parents couldn't step in and organise stuff (in conjuction with the school if necessary).

Phyllis321 · 30/06/2021 14:22

Why are you holding the teacher responsible for decisions made by management?

DappledThings · 30/06/2021 14:24

Making an unnecessary fuss about leaving one school for another has sod all to do with good teaching.

Mytwopennysworth · 30/06/2021 15:07

Not read the whole thread only ops updates.

Is it the school or ptfa that normally do this stuff? It’s the ptfa that normally buy the leavers hoodies at my DCs school. They also pay and organise a lot of the events, obviously working with the school. The money used to pay for this is raised through events which hasn’t been able to happen due to covid. Obviously the same with trips. But it’s still shit if the school havnt organised anything at all especially a leavers assembly.

As for teacher present that has nothing to do with everything else. If the teacher is good and your child has liked them then I would personally give them a gift.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 30/06/2021 15:19

School leaver hoodies are usually bought by the PTA (well they have been in schools my DC have left/I've worked in). I don't imagine the PTA have anywhere near enough funds for it as they haven't been able to do any fundraising unfortunately.

It is rubbish that school aren't doing anything at all though

HmmmmmmInteresting · 30/06/2021 15:22

Nobody is entitled to gifts. If you don't think the service has been good then don't bother.

tallduckandhandsome · 30/06/2021 15:22

You sound a bit entitled. I'm not a teacher but everything you've described sounds like a ball ache to organise and they don't get paid any extra to do it.

Would you be paying for this hoodie or expecting it for free?

TableSetting · 30/06/2021 15:27

Agree with you OP.
Sadly we’ve not been impressed with our school during lockdown so no teacher gifts from us this year.
Hopefully next year will be better and I’ll be happy to send something in then.

MadMadMadamMim · 30/06/2021 15:28

Teachers have no control over SLT decisions. They cannot make a stand. They are likely to have expressed their opinion, but frankly schools are trying to bend over backwards to be as Covid safe as possible. It is almost impossible to organise a class trip anywhere at the moment due to risk assessments.

I think it's shitty personally to be slagging teachers after most of them have spent a year in classrooms with no PPE and putting their health at risk to try and do a job under really trying circumstances.

That said, it's up to you if you have the courtesy to send a thank you for their efforts.

Crappyfridays7 · 30/06/2021 15:30

Seems a bit rubbish they’ve done nothing.
Our school the primary 7 went on their residential, 3 days away.
They had a virtual leavers ceremony and got goodie bags to open whilst online together.
They had a water fight earlier in June, a few other things too and their hoodies too. It’s not perfect but at least the effort was made to do something. However it’s not the class teacher who decides what they will do, it’s the headteacher. Our kids were fortunate with lovely gifts from their teachers and we usually put towards a lovely class gift.

If you don’t want to give then don’t. Your child may feel bad not taking something in if all their friends are. If they don’t want to that’s fine too.

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