To Try To Have A Conversation With DD12 Without Arguing?

[CurryLover55]

Please tell me it gets better! The latest thing is what films she’s allowed to watch. I have reservations about Black Widow ( the latest Avengers movie). DD has an app & says she can watch what she likes on there if we don’t let her see it at the cinema. But honestly, everything seems to end in confrontation which is very wearing!

Pick your battles. That sort of thing never bothered me but anything involving their health and safety or the way they treated friends and family had a priority for me.

I agree there are bigger fish to fry, and black widow is a 12a

What are your reservations about her seeing Black widow?

It’s a 12a? I agree 12 year olds can be argumentative but she probably feels babied and suffocated.

I agree with others that you pick your battles. In the nicest possible way it sounds like it's you who is arguing about everything rather than her.

My Dd has a fair amount of freedom until it comes to something dangerous which is when I put my foot down and whilst I'm not saying she never argues, she does respect the fact that I must have a good reason if I'm laying down the law.

Our rule has been films of the next age limit up are okay. There have been a few exceptions where I've read the parents guide and something hasn't felt right. In those instances I've explained and she's been pretty much happy to trust my judgement

12 is a hard age for us as our kids really start to have their own voices! Good luck

I have a 12 year old so I feel your pain. However, you need to treat her like a 12 year old. 12 year olds have spent nearly a whole year in secondary school (more of a summer born), whether she's shared with you or not, she will know about many many things that are "worse" than a 12A movie. Even if your daughter is immature and sheltered many of her peers will not be!

Why not watch things with her and use the movie/TV programmes as a chance to discuss more adult things?

It's a 12A though so she could go to the cinema and watch it without you no problem? I'd let her watch it then discuss the bits you have problems with?

Not sure what your reservations are, it’s a 12A superhero film not Nymphomaniac.

You have to pick your battles really, I’d let her go see the film without hesitation.

What are the problems you have with it?

In my experience 12 and 13 year old girls are the worst for arguing. It gets better. I swear my teeth have been worn down from the amount of times I've gritted them.

I agree, a film classified as a 12 seems quite suitable for a 12 year old. This wouldn’t be my hill to die on!

If she's 12 and used to the franchise then I'd be ok with it, it's not Deadpool after all.

I read something about the violence in it but perhaps I am babying her a little - it’s hard to let them fly, isn’t it? And as a pp said, maybe it’s me creating the arguments sometimes but DD really has got an answer for everything & knows how to press my buttons. Obviously I shouldn’t let her!

Why don't you watch it with her? Get some snacks and make a thing of doing it together.
You catch more bees with honey than vinegar, as my mother says...

Pick your battles!!

A 12 year old watching a 12 cert film hardly seems unreasonable!!

Lol at thinking a 12yo is being argumentative - I’d maybe consider the bigger picture or you’re going to find the next few years very challenging.

I've seen most of the Marvel movies, there are battles but I wouldn't call them violent as such. Then again I saw Jaws and Halloween at around 12 so I may not be the best judge.

It's a 12a, and the franchise rather depends on the kids being able to watch it without being scared shitless.

ifeelmuchlessfat you haven’t met my daughter!

The Marvel films are 12A for a reason - yes, there's fighting. There is however very little in the way of blood and gore. That really isn't a hill worth dying on.

You may need to review your own ideas about what is and is not appropriate for your DD and realise that she is no longer a little girl.

We let our DDs watch selected 15s at that age, after vetting them.