ExH and I had a verbal agreement regarding child maintenance and contact. Our DS1 and 2 spending 2 nights a week with exH. 6 months ago exH stopped paying maintenance and after weeks of no contact about the money he called saying he wanted ‘50/50’ seemingly out of nowhere. We had somewhat civil discussions around this but couldn’t reach an agreement. He then went quiet for a few weeks, until CMS contacted him about maintenance which made him explode. The last 4 weeks have been hell. He’s keeping the boys on nights not agreed on, telling them it’s his right and manipulating them into believing they want these changes too. He wouldn’t let me talk to my youngest when he was ill. He’s bullying me with constant messages about how this IS happening and how he WILL be having the boys. My eldest is quite flexible but my youngest has extreme anxiety and it’s so upsetting to see him so lost and confused. I’ve instructed a solicitor to write to my Ex and I’m aware this may lead to court. I’m getting ill with the stress of it all. My youngest is begging me to make an arrangement and I want to resolve this quickly for his sake but the only way is to give in to his Dad and do what he wants which is a rolling week of 4 days on and 4 days off ( I wouldnt agree to this because my youngest needs routine and stability and this schedule means they are never at the same place) I am so tired and sad for my boys. Part of me says stick to my guns- don’t be bullied into something I feel is not right- but the other half says just put a stop to it now for my sake and the children’s. For what it’s worth he’s not a hands on dad and I do all the activity runs, anything to do with school etc He doesn’t stick to pick up times and really just does everything to suit him and not in the boys best interests.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice? One stressed out sad mum 😔