To think this is ridiculous

[YummyButter]

Friend of mine is terribly lonely (moved to UK from foreign country, knows absolutely nobody here). We met at work and became quite friendly with eachother. Our lives are very different, I have a child and a partner, and friend lives alone.

Friend LOVES nights out, this is all they ever want to do at the weekends. I cannot always go on nights out, obviously.

We organised a night out over the weekend, and I failed to mention to my friend that I had my Covid jab the day before our night out. On the day of the night out I started to have a headache and just didn't feel up to going out, I just wanted to chill at home.

Friend got upset with me, and told me I shouldn't have booked the covid jab for the day before we were due to go out as there was the possibility that I would become unwell due to the side effects. I ended up feeling so guilty that I went for a meal with them anyway to get them out of their house, and keep them happy.

Ever since I've felt like such a mug! I'm wondering if I need to distance myself from this person, but I don't want to be cruel, as I'm one of only 2 friends that they have in this country. AIBU?

God, she sounds like mega hard work. Ditch her. You have a child - maybe ask her why she can't understand that?

Tbh you sound like a bit of a doormat.

Hang on a gawd darn minute..

She's pissed, that you took an opportunity, to get your 1st Covid vaccine, because it left you feeling a tad unwell, and interfered with your pre-arranged night out, and thinks you should not have taken the appointment.

Well who made Her the boss of your 'pandemic immunisation' decisions!?

Drop kick her selfish Arse to the moon.

@Bluntness100

Wow it’s really cold and harsh to end a friend ship over this. Which makes me think you’re no friend of hers and don’t give a fuck about her. She was clearly just disappointed. And you obviously weren’t that ill you couldn’t go out.

Yes because nobody's died from this really annoying Covid thingy everyone is rushing to get immunised from right ?

Imagine prioritising that over a Night Out 🙄

No need to comment, @QueenBee52 has absolutely fucking nailed it!

Jabs take precedence over virtually everything IMO.

It sounds like you're at different stages of life. We all have friends with different needs and you can simply say a night out/ drinking doesn't suit me this weekend so I'll give it a miss this time.

You aren't responsible for her entire social life and she can try to find additional friends to broaden her social life if she wishes.

I don't think you can organise jabs round social life - for some, having it on a Friday to have the weekend to recover before work is more sense. Sure, you don't book it for the day before a family wedding 100 miles away, but a night out is easily postponed.

Can you get your friend introduced to some more people? That's the crux of the problem - she's lonely. If you've got friends you think she might get on with, introduce them. If not, find out what interests her: if you can find a suitable group, you could offer to go along with her for company the first time "even though it's not your cup of tea" - so making clear that you're not intending to keep going.

Bluntness100
Wow it’s really cold and harsh to end a friend ship over this

It really isn't just this though is it? The "friend" sounds like a nasty, selfish cow who expects the Op to dance to her tune all the time.
I can't imagine having any friend who would berate me for having had my jab and feeling ill as a consequence. Irrelevant that she had the jab the day before - it's just downright rude to make a big deal of it.
The always wanting to go out drinking would do my head in too - sounds like she doesn't know how to have a good time without booze.

The jab is more important and it wasn't a given that you'd have side-effects - some people have it without any symptoms. Your friend is BU.

I've told them to go out with another person from work because their situations are very similar, and their response was that, because the other person from work is practically a Manager (but of a similar age group), they didn't want to. The person is a trainer, not a Manager. To me they're just being awkward.

You’re in two very different “lifestyles “. Single life and family life. Single life yes people want to go out. Family life you don’t necessarily want to go out every weekend. And that’s fine.

She probably needs to find other friends who are also single who can go out on weekends. And you spend time with her doing other things or go put on weekends occasionally.

If you have a child it’s not realistic that you can go out every weekend anyway. I also don’t think YABU. We are in a global pandemic and you went for a vaccine. Partying and drinking doesn’t take precedence over that. I think it’s ridiculous for someone to get mad that you booked to get the vaccine and can’t go out. So what.. partying is not a priority.

Do you love nights out, OP?

Stand firm OP 🌸

@therearenogoodusernamesleft

Do you love nights out, OP?

I absolutely hate nights out. I only go to keep my friend happy and help them socialise with others.

@QueenBee52

Stand firm OP 🌸

Thank you so much ❤

Based on your updates she's being unreasonable. I'd take a step back. It's lovely to help out people who have few friends, but sometimes it becomes clear that the problem is of their own making.