to want to spend *all* of Christmas Day with my family and not DH's?

[bunyanvillas]

My family live in Ireland and I see them about 3 times a year. They pop over very occasionally, too. For the last 4 years, for various reasons, we have always spent Christmas Day with DH's family which is lovely. However, this yr my family are coming over and staying in a hotel - the plan being for us to join them for the day with dd. I'm really looking forward to it. DH wants us to pop to his parent's house first (they live about 10 mins away) for present giving etc. But I don't want to do this! Principally because I'd rather have a nice Christmas breakfast - just the 3 of us - open dd's stocking etc - and then head into town so that we can have the maximum amount of time with my folks. We're only seeing them on Christmas Day so I feel that this is important. And in any case, we'll be spending Boxing Day with DH's family, who see dd on a very regular occurrence. DH has a brother and a sister who also live very nearby so it's not as if his parents will be spending Christmas Day on their own. However, DH is not happy about my wish and wants to see his family on Christmas Day. But why can't he grant me my wish just this once? My parents don't get to see dd on other special occasions such as birthdays. Am I being unreasonable ...?

True, but he is belittling her need to spend one entire Christmas day with her family after years of doing just that with his!!

Surely present giving takes longer than just 'popping in'? How long would dh expect to be at his parents' house?

Sounds unfair to me. Couldn't you 'pop in' on Christmas Eve, instead?

I don't think that opening presents counts as a "pop in", so I'm with you, this visit eats into very valuable time for you and your family. I think that the only compromise possible is to if you fix a guaranteed (early!) time to meet up with your parents and then spend time some significant time with them on Boxing Day too. We have done alternate Christmasas for a while now, and because of geography that means that pretty much the whole of Chritmas (Eve, day and Boxing day min) is not spent with one family each year (and we have the third one to ourselves, so neither get the priveledge!). You don't have to see your ILs on Christmas day at all (it's a nice way to spread out Christmas too IMO)