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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be looking forward to my youngest DC starting school?

17 replies

ZednotZee · 28/06/2021 23:25

My 'baby' who is four BTW Blush is starting school in September.
AIBU to feel a bit sad? We've been under covid measures since he was two and I feel that I've missed out on his pre school year a bit with the stress of all that has been occurring in society at large and our community specifically, such as having to facilitate home schooling and DH wfh.

I feel that his time at home has just flown by.

Can anybody give me any positives to not having a preschooler? I have had a baby or preschooler at home for the last sixteen years so notwithstanding covid it would in all likelihood have felt slightly strange in any case.

Is anybody else feeling at all similarly?

Or am I quite mad and are you about to tell me that I should be relishing the start of this new phase of life?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 29/06/2021 00:40

You are neither BU or NBU - you feel as you feel

I personally was delighted when my youngest started school. She was so ready to start. I remember coming home and getting in the bath for a little bit of "me time" with nobody calling on my time for an hour. It was lovely. Smile

However, as you say, this last 16 months have been a very different experience and I understand you've missed out on a lot of what you would have done with your other dc in their pre-school year.

Original poster
ZednotZee · 29/06/2021 00:43

Thank you.

He is more than ready to start so I know that my reservations are thoroughly selfish.
So I suppose from that perspective I am BU.

I will miss him though.

OP posts:
Shmithecat2 · 29/06/2021 00:46

All that child free time. Are you mad!?! Enjoy it! Tidy house. Box sets. Lunch undisturbed. A cup of tea still hot when you manage to finish it. Things staying where they should for at least 5 hours a day. It's bloody marvellous.

PumpkinKlNG · 29/06/2021 00:49

I agree, my youngest is also starting school and I really don’t want her to ☹️ My mum thought I was terribly unreasonable when I said it to her!

Original poster
ZednotZee · 29/06/2021 00:54

@PumpkinKlNG

Glad I'm not alone. Hopefully this thread fills up with lots of positives to change our mindset a bit.

@Shmithecat2 thanks and yes I am looking forward to a much more organised living space!

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 29/06/2021 00:54

My youngest starts GSCEs this year and knows exactly what they've been missing out on. Your 4 year old doesn't know any different!

That being said, I cried when my youngest started school too so I do have some sympathy Grin

Original poster
ZednotZee · 29/06/2021 00:58

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

My eldest starts year eleven in September too. I feel so awful for the weeks months he has missed out on. You are right the effects of the lockdowns ha e been far more deleterious to him than my youngest.

sigh this is a wholly self indulgent thread, isn't it?

Which I suppose sufficiently answers my OP.

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 29/06/2021 06:37

I know I’ll feel the same when my youngest starts school and I won’t want her to.

The3Ls · 29/06/2021 07:46

I was looking forward to my youngest starting , I worked so just had a day or two at home it was hard working juggling two kids pets house etc I looked forward to a slight slow in life. but it was also sad and felt really strange. I really enjoyed pottering with second and missed him. So you can look forward to the next stage as well be sad. I don't think it's as clear as one feeling - like most parent hood a mixture of feelings

Original poster
ZednotZee · 29/06/2021 09:08

@The3Ls

Yes you are right I suppose its not all bad and I should focus on the extra time I will ha e to get things done.

On a very selfish note I do wish DH wasn't still wfh so that I could have the house to myself on my child free days off...

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 29/06/2021 09:32

It's the simple things...
being able to wander around tesco without a winny toddler in tow...
being able to see another kids assembly without extracting the younger one from under someone else's chair...
They still turn up at just after 3 to create all the noise/mess... Grin

Fhlneihn1345 · 29/06/2021 10:24

I think that's totally understandable. It's a big change for all of you. I have the opposite problem. My 4-year-old has always gone to nursery since she was 6months old and am dreading school. What will we do with all this time that she'll have with us - holidays every 6 weeks, short school day. Feeling a bit apprehensive about it all

JudgeJ · 29/06/2021 10:50

@BackforGood

You are neither BU or NBU - you feel as you feel

I personally was delighted when my youngest started school. She was so ready to start. I remember coming home and getting in the bath for a little bit of "me time" with nobody calling on my time for an hour. It was lovely. Smile

However, as you say, this last 16 months have been a very different experience and I understand you've missed out on a lot of what you would have done with your other dc in their pre-school year.

Look on the bright side, by the measures taken on the last year or so you've missed some trivial stuff but you and your children have missed out on a potentially fatal disease, which would you have preferred? My grandchildren did all the pre-school stuff like soft play and so on and guess what, they remember none of it! Do these things exist for the child's advantage or the parent's?
Original poster
ZednotZee · 29/06/2021 10:55

@JudgeJ

Its not soft play etc that upsets me.

Its that I have had to home school other children during his pre school years whilst living with the stress of working as a nurse during the pandemic.
The last sixteen months have been so fraught that I feel that both he and I have missed out on time we will never get back.
Time that I was able to give to my older DC.

OP posts:
Original poster
ZednotZee · 29/06/2021 10:58

@Fhlneihn1345

Oh I hadn't thought of it from that perspective at all, yes that too must make you feel apprehensive.
Its a transition no matter what previous routines have been, isn't it?

I always found summer play groups to be a life save with my other DC during the everlasting summer holidays. Its difficult for working parents and I really do think they should look at shortening it. But thats another thread entirely I suppose.

Very best wishes to you and your DC for September Flowers

OP posts:
Bksjshsbbev2737 · 29/06/2021 10:58

I feel a bit like that; particularly as I’ve missed out on being able to take DD to places in the last year and now going to be entering the structured life of school

MyFloorIsLava · 29/06/2021 11:00

Oh I feel the same. My DS has preschool 3 days a week, so we have 2 lovely days when we can just hang out and chill. He's delightful company and I'm going to miss having him around so much.

I dropped him at preschool then on my way home, I saw a mum I know just sitting watching the world with her little boy. It gave me such a massive pang to know that we're coming to the end of that lovely relaxed stage of life where he's so happy to just be with me.

I'd never tell him any of this! He's looking forward to going to school with his sister and I'm sure he'll do well, I'm not dampening his enthusiasm at all.

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