To be sick to death of next door’s delivery drivers looking through my window?

[AngeloMysterioso]

I live in a flat in a converted house and, due to the slightly odd shape of the building my upstairs neighbours front door is next to my back door. Other side of my back door is my sitting room window. Their front door does have a number, a letter box and a buzzer, which my back door doesn’t.

It keeps happening that when something is being delivered for them, if the driver doesn’t know which door to use even though it’s fucking obvious or the neighbours don’t answer the buzzer, they’ll just look through my window and yell to me or DH if we’re in there to ask if it’s for us. This was particularly fun when I was breastfeeding my then newborn DS in the run up to Christmas when they were having things delivered almost daily. The drivers will also often go through the wrong gate and find their way to the door by going through my back garden, instead of up the side of the house. More than once if I’ve had the back door open on a nice day I’ve come into the sitting room to find a parcel that’s not mine on my sitting room floor- one time it was left on the sofa!

I’ve been hoovering and cleaning up the sitting room this evening, and got really hot while I was doing it so after I was finished I took my wig off to cool down (I have a hair loss problem and am mostly bald) and was just sitting on the sofa watching the tennis. Next thing I know some gormless Amazon driver is peering through my window yelling “flat 3??” I shook my head and pointed to indicate it was the door next to mine, and he just stood there and stared at me. I’m really self conscious about my hair loss and don’t even let DH see my without my head covered up, so I was totally humiliated by this total fucking stranger goggling at me through my window.

AIBU to be sick of the constant invasion of my privacy? And what the hell do I do about it?

Nobody asked for one but I did a diagram while I was watching Love Island. I’m rather proud of it Grey dotted line is fence, green dotted line is hedge.

When the drivers come through the back garden they’ve actually gone through Flat 1’s gate and all round the back of the house. I’ll ask if she’d mind me putting a sign saying no access to 3/4 though, I doubt she’d mind. It is pretty obvious that it’s a back garden path though.

There is a teeny tiny sign halfway up the wall at the front (that is, the side with the hedge) of the house which would indicate that Flat 3 is upstairs but I doubt anybody notices it. I guess I could ask if they’d mind putting a note on their deliveries to say that they’re upstairs?

I’d rather not have to put stuff up in my window, it faces north/north west so the room is pretty gloomy until early afternoon already. Plus if I’m hanging out washing or something I can see in to keep an eye on DS who, being a toddler, would probably find a way to pull down the blinds or peel off window film anyway...

We’re not overlooked at all as next door’s windows are at a 90° angle to our sitting room window and the back of their house is further forward, plus the boundary fence is quite high with loads of tall plants etc on their side so there’s no privacy issue at all- except for the fucking delivery drivers looking in!

That diagram is a work of art. Kudos!

Yes, put a sign on Flat 1s gate with directions of how to get to Flat 3 from there. It must be very annoying to have people traipsing through your garden.

Lovely diagram.

I would put a planter with trellis in between the 2 doors tbh. In fact I would consider a row of them to make your garden more private and secure.

It isn't obvious to them that the door for no 3 is nothing to do with your back door and window. I would also keep your back door locked just for generally security as well as stopping deliveries being left.

All the above- gate lock, signs, curtains!

I have a magnetic fly screen when I leave the back door open. Lets the breeze in, but keeps bugs out and makes it more difficult for people to see inside.

Wow that diagram is impressive!

Yes you need to ask flat 1 to put a sign up saying no access to number 3 please use other gate.
Then like a pp said you need to create a clear boundary between the two doors. Could you fence it off or put up some trellis panels then Possibly add a sign to say private property no access.

You should not have to close your blinds or curtains, or put up frosted window film. This is your private space and nobody has any right to be in your garden looking through your window!

Fair play, and absolutely lovely diagram, but I agree with others - if it happens regularly, then is isn't obvious.

Those of us that live in a house / flat with windows that have a path nearby have to make the choice - either get used to people peering in or put something up at the windows. There are lots of choices of blinds, film, screens etc. It might not be ideal, but it is each of our own decisions which we hate more - a window covering or someone peering in.

that diagram is amazing 😱

I don't suppose you can fence off the patio between the two doors with an access gate? Even if it's a picket fence, its more hassle for them to open a gate and walk through.

Fence from between your back door and their front door all along the border of your patio to the garden wall opposite your door. Put your access gate nearest to the boundary wall of the house next door so that it's furthest away from their door. You can put your flat number on your new gate and a sign with an arrow saying flat 3 this way, so you are clearly directing people away from your gate. Because flat 3 now has a private access route, ask them to buy a parcel bin. Deliverers will be less inclined to go through your gate as it will clearly be a separate property. It gives you a lot more privacy to enjoy your garden.

B&Q sell opaque privacy film at about £1.50 per roll. It sticks on with water, still let's the light in and prevents anyone from seeing you. Highly recommend.

Get some privacy film! My house is a corner plot so people walk passed & can look into my living room window. So I put privacy film up. It still let's the light in, they come in all sorts of different patterns & no-one can peer in when you're chilling out. 👍🏼

You absolutely win the internet this year for that diagram!!

If it was a repeat visitor, then you'd maybe be able to handle it differently. But the fact that it's lots of different delivery people, you're never going to get them all trained. It's very human to have your eyes drawn in to a window with no blinds or net curtains if you're looking for somebody to deliver to, especially when on the time limit that these people are.
Just put nets or a film up, they diffuse rather than block out light and you will feel so much better for it.

You can get privacy blinds that pull up from the bottom. So you can just pull them.up high enough to prevent anyone looking in and you can still see out over the top so you still get lots of light and can see the sky so they dont feel too restrictive. So that would work.well . And a lock on the gate will help as well.

Awesome diagram. Can you put up a low fence beside your back door for a few feet as they're not likely to walk round that to look in the window?
Window film for lower part of window. Number Sign on back door.

Unfortunately the small space between my door and upstairs’ door is occupied by two massive drain pipes, so I can’t put anything between them. Similarly would have to dig up a bit of patio/brick path to put a fence in, although I could get a couple of those planters with trellis and line them up, but then we’re losing a foot of patio space.

Sometimes the GPS details can be weird. I live in a terrace with a perfectly normal front yard and front door. But it’s part of a complex and GPS tend to direct people down the driveway. Then they see my number on the garage (at the rear of my house) and the next thing someone is knocking on my back door having traipsed across my incredibly overgrown back yard.

It might be worth looking at where the google maps pin falls on those addresses. You can get them moved if it’s wrong (though for me it’s a huge faff submitting updates to all possible GPS apps).