Covid has made me hate parenthood

[undercurrent15]

Just that really.
I’m looking ahead to the 6 week summer hols with total fear and dread.
Being a mum used to be a huge source of happiness, fulfilment, joy and whilst at times challenging, I never resented it.
I love DCs (6 and 2) to death but christ, I am so miserable when we’re indoors at the moment and have such low tolerance for any silliness etc!
AIBU or is anyone else feeling the same?!

I'm the sa me OP used to love parenting but at the moment I'm just about tolerating it. I have one very challenging child and have zero tolerance for whining and fucking stupid questions. I manage to sounds enthusiastic most times. I'm feeling better with the better weather but I don't know how I can continue with the bubble c closures at school. I've no help and no annual leave after needing to take 3weeks a txmas. It's he'll but it will get better.

I'm the same and dreading the holidays too We try to go out loads but it's all so samey.
Have cancelled a planned holiday too which DCs were understandably upset about. It's getting pretty depressing tbh

Aww.Get yourself into a routine so that you know whats happening each day. Plan things, they don't have to be expensive or cost anything. I always find a routine makes the day go quicker. Before you know it, it'll be September again x

Yep...I hate it and I feel awful. Most of the time I just want to be left alone

The thought of 6 weeks is filling me with dread. Mine is a pandemic baby (hate the phrase but he is!) and tbh, being able to go to work at end of mat leave saved me mentally. So the thought of 6 weeks to fill with an energetic toddler, having to book things weeks in advance, makes me want to time travel to September.

The kids have had so much time away from school this year, neither they nor I feel ready for six weeks off

YANBU and thousands feel the same as you.

I know I'm in the minority who cheered when they announced both lockdowns and kids being home.
last year, during the 6 m stint my older ones kept up with what they could, the younger ones just had an extended holiday.
they are smart kids who were already doing above average so I had nothing to worry about. (no issues were raised by teachers this year so I was right)

The homeschooling was very confusing an stressful at first but we got into the swing of things and I'd be happy to go back to it from a purely selfish point of view.
I wouldn't wish another lockdown on them though.

I love them being home, sick of school runs, can't wait for this fucking school year to end. 16 days to go.
Looking forward to the summer.

@Comedycook exactly how I feel, I just want to be left alone. Which is ridiculous, but just hearing someone else say it makes me feel mildly less crazy.
@Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear we definitely revolve around routine and I have a good enough plan for most of the 6 weeks, but not all of them. i don’t work over summer hols so would love to volunteer somewhere in that time but cost of play clubs etc is huge!

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba
I’m glad your experience has been much the opposite! Kids feed off of how we feel so at least by you feeling positive about them being home, they will have caught that vibe too.
We were absolutely fine for the first 3 month stint, it just seems to be each one after that things have got less manageable to the point where I dread being at home

Only correction that covid has made me hate parenthood EVEN MORE 😬😬😬
Seriously dreading the 6 week holidays....

I feel your pain, OP. I also have a 6yo and a 2 yo and it's not easy. I work very long hours in term time so I always feel a lot of pressure to always be doing fun, exciting stuff with them in the holidays. I am trying to be kinder to myself and remember that it is not my job to provide constant entertainment. Do you have a DP? If so can they take any time off over the holidays to help out and give you a break? DH is taking a couple of weeks off towards the beginning of the holidays and then we're all going away for a few days at the end of August, which is a massive relief as it's so much easier with two of us.

@Alleycat02 😂 yes, good correction!
@Washimal it sounds much more manageable to break it down in chunks like that, wise idea. Single parent here but we do have the option of staying for a week here and a week there with parents/grandparents so it will help to have a getaway of sorts whilst having practical help at the same time

When have you had time to recover yourself, recharge your batteries?

You haven't, you've had to carry on and plan and adapt and keep it together and it's beyond any reasonable limit and yet you keep going because you have to. It sucks massively and I feel some days like I'm going to explode from the repetition of it all.

I'm so glad you posted this. I can definitely relate,

@undercurrent15

I do understand.
I guess having had 7 kids I have a higher tolerance for being stuck at home than most people. during so many pgs and having years of bf, newborn & toddler years I got so used to not being able to do things and go places for months on end I guess my "training" kicked in🤣

please don't think I'm some supermum cheerfully attending to her children while gliding in a floaty dress surrounded by cartoon woodland animals.

I get fed up with their noise & squabbles and hide in my nook.
but I hate having to keep to a strict routine during term time so no school = freedom.

I really hope you and all who are fretting will find a way to make it through. fake it till you make it maybe?
big hugs. you can do it

Could have written this myself. I used to love being a mum, but the lockdowns have ruined it for me. I’m still burnt out, have zero time or money for myself, still wondering how to recoup the financial losses and I still shudder every time I hear ‘muuuum’.
I have nothing left to give, have made enormous personal and financial sacrifices to protect others, but am expected to give it all to the max again for six fucking weeks while getting further into debt through lack of opportunity to work. Fuck My Life.

Single parent here but we do have the option of staying for a week here and a week there with parents/grandparents so it will help to have a getaway of sorts whilst having practical help at the same time

In that case I would definitely take up any offers of a change of scenery and practical help that you can get. I adore my children but don't find parenting easy, even with a very involved DH so I really feel for you. You're literally never off- duty! No wonder you're not looking forward to the holidays.

I don't know what parenthood is like without it - DS was born just before the first lockdown. To be honest I don't know whether that's better or worse, at least I don't know what I'm missing...

Me too OP. I only have in dc who's the apple of my eye and yet my god am I not looking forward to the hols.
In fact I break into a cold sweat everytime I think about it. My dc is in private school that is not running its usual holiday clubs and dc has two months off and me and dh both wfh
I hope your holidays fly by!

@Comedycook @undercurrent15 that's exactly how I feel too, I just want to be left alone. That's what I miss in the holidays, alone time with nobody talking to me or asking stupid fucking questions or whinging. I don't enjoy even taking them out anywhere it's all just a ball ache and I hate every minute of it all if im being honest. I've never admitted that before I love them so so much I really do and they havent a clue that's how I feel, im affectionate and loving but inside I just can't wait for the next alone time

Whilst it makes me so sad a lot of people are going through the same thing, it just makes me feel a bit less of a shit mum for feeling the way I do if others are feeling it too!
@MerryDecembermas that’s exactly it, the never ending relentlessness of it all. Holidays were manageable when we hadn’t already spend half of the school year locked down.
@Totallydefeated really sorry to hear how much you’re struggling too, it really fucking sucks. I think making a week by week plan will help my sanity somewhat but it’s just having the motivation deep down to put a smile on and get on with it.
@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba, totally hats off to you, 7 kids must have left you ready for a pandemic just to take stock!! Fake it til I make it will be the mantra to carry me through

@MonicaGellerBing if they haven’t got a clue that’s how you feel, you’re already doing a better job than most. It’s hard having that horrible inner commentary but even harder to keep the sense of being drained hidden from DCs!
I think also the school runs/work are a huge part of my social life, and seeing other parents and having rants about our days really seems to help make me feel less crappy. So losing that over the hols is hard too.

My child is older but I can feel I am making a lot less effort than normal - not being able to go to even the national trust spontaneously is a killer for me. If I'm honest I'm feeling the same at work too though- generally flat and burnt out. Hope you have a better hols than you think 💐

YANBU at all. Mine are 7 and very nearly 3. Sometimes they're best friends (definitely more than they were last year!) but I find myself refereeing arguments most of the day. I'm sick of being shouty Mum, but my tolerance is at rock bottom. It was getting better with them both being out for a few hours per day. DD is currently isolating because of a case at school, and I'm just relieved that DS can still go to preschool. My patience is zero. And it's impossible to homeschool with him there.

Last year was so hard, even when we started going out for walks etc, and I think I'm still stuck in that mindset. It feels never ending. And DH is WFH, just about to start a new job, so I'm always conscious of them not disturbing him too much (he's never complained, but I know he found it hard).

I'm planning to take them to DM's in the summer holidays, as much as I can. Just for a change of scenery and someone to talk to. We're in a bubble with her so hopefully that won't ever be a problem.

I've booked my eldest in to a holiday camp for 3 days a week as he loved it so much in 2019 and really missed it last year. Then we will have 1 day a week together, just me and him without my youngest and hopefully I can make him realise (see again) I'm not just the shouty mum lockdown has made me become.

We are all feeling it, you're really not alone!