To think parents should tell me about dietary requirements?

[Therearetoomanyshoes]

Sent out invitations to dd's party two weeks ago. Party is in a week. Included request in WhatsApp to say please let me know any dietary requirements. One has. Dd was chatting today and mentioned two coeliac/properly gluten free children who are coming to party. Parents haven't said anything and I did food shopping for party today, before dd mentioned.

Aibu to think that they should have let me know? After all, they have managed to reply to say yes to the party, so must have read the invitation.

Maybe your dd is mistaken? I'm sure parents of a child with celiac disease would be very careful about what they eat.

Or perhaps they are planning to bring their own food due to the risk of cross contamination.

Tbh I'd imagine they would send the child with a packed party lunch...it's easier to know there is no contamination.

We have nut allergies and ASD/SPD so we always send our own packed party food for DC.

Some parents send their kids with a packed lunch to parties to avoid any issues.

I guess she could be. But there was a detailed anecdote about how one of them had to miss lunch because the gluten free option had run out.

I guess it might not be coeliac, and they could be planning own food.

It did occur to me that they'd send own food. But this has happened before, and in that case, the parent said not to worry about food because they'd need to bring their own.

Agreed that I'd send DS with his own food. His allergies are so severe I wouldn't risk the cross contamination or put the burden upon someone else to check it all etc.

However I would have mentioned it & let you know id do this so you'd know how many you were feeding though. So still a bit rude in my opinion.

I felt so bad once when I hosted a party and had booked a soft play. They did the food and asked for details of allergies which I passed on. Then the place gave the kid with severe allergies food with the allergen in it. Luckily the mum intercepted them. They tried to tell her she was wrong. She insisted on seeing the packaging. They were wrong. They barely apologised too. I followed up with a very ranty letter,

How old are the dc ?
Is it possible they have brought their dc up to know what they can / can't eat and to be able to cope at a party for a couple of hours without food if everything weren't suitable for them? (and how likely is that?)
That they didn't want to put the host to the extra work or stress of having to cater for lots of different needs ?
It isn't like a child who could go into anaphylactic shock merely by breathing in particles of nuts in the air.

YANBU

in fact we are sending DD's birthday invites tomorrow and I didn't even ask about dietary requirements.
the parents already have saved the date and confirmed the kids are coing but nobody said anything about special diets or allergies. so I'm assuming there are none because everyone I know who has issues flags them at the point of being invited or food being mentioned (which is always ahead of the occasion).
it's their responsibility to mention it, not mine to ask.🤷‍♀️

@dopeyduck this exactly. One of dd's closest friends has very severe allergies and let me know straightaway, for the first party when dd was five, so years ago now. So easy to get round when you know. As it happens, the soft play aren't providing food, so it's not really costing anything. If they were, it would be £3 per head completely wasted.

If you have their numbers just send a message and ask if the DC will need dietary consideration/will be sending packed food.

My neice has lots of allergies and gets sent with a lunch box of suitable food.

@Therearetoomanyshoes - absolutely this would be the normal response so totally agree with you.

You’re going to have to message again unfortunately.

@BackforGood I don't find it any problem to cater for children when I know. It's a bit awkward when you are at a soft play, so can rustle up something non bread based, and the child can't join in with the food. I'm hoping they'll be in touch this week. Otherwise, they'll just be a little hungry. I'm very happy to provide GF alternatives when I know for sure, of course. Less happy on the off chance.