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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask work to stop contacting me while I’m on Mat leave?!

126 replies

waitingforwinter · 27/06/2021 22:25

Agreed before I went off at the end of last year that I’d be taking the full year and set a date for my return including the use of my annual leave that had accrued. All in writing etc.

I’m 7.5m into my leave. Have barely heard from them until now bar the usual emails updating in the covid situation.

In the last month I’ve had:

  • HR email to ask if I still plan on taking the year or if I’ve considered taking just the 9m paid leave (as they’re struggling for holiday cover because a number of staff across the company left during furlough)
  • texts from the area manager asking if I would use my KIT days to help cover some days she’s meant to be doing as she could do with being elsewhere those days (requesting I work 4 full weekends out of 7 starting 10 days after she text me plus another 6 single days over the next 3 months)
  • text from my direct manager this weekend asking me to cover 10 other days over the next 3 months and to let her know “ASAP” as she’ll have to deny other staff their annual leave requests if I can’t.

Before I get on my high horse and complain - I am right in saying I’m entitled to the year aren’t I?! Stat Mat if that makes any difference so 9m paid at stat and 3 months unpaid.
I was planning on contacting them about doing some KIT days closer to my return to get back into the swing of things but I don’t think it’s right that I’m being asked to provide cover 🤔

OP posts:
TacoSunday · 27/06/2021 22:35

YANBU! Sounds like a nightmare place to work too. I thought KIT stood for Keeping in Touch days - doesn’t sound like it to me. Sounds like they are being really tight and won’t resource the department properly.

Nohomemadecandles · 27/06/2021 22:37

No! You're on maternity leave. No obligation to cover anything.

D1sc02000 · 27/06/2021 22:39

That’s outrageous. Keep to your terms and don’t let them push you. Are you in a union?

underneaththeash · 27/06/2021 22:39

I honestly wouldn't reply.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/06/2021 22:39

I'd message them and say you're unable to do any kit days until X date due to your child and that you will contact them at that time to discuss then ignore

mynameiscalypso · 27/06/2021 22:40

Well you're absolutely under no obligation to say yes. Whether you want to complain about it probably depends on how much you like your job. Can't you just say that you don't have childcare and so you can't cover them?

CassandraTrotter · 27/06/2021 22:41

I'd ignore

DaisyChainsForever · 27/06/2021 22:43

Keeping in touch days in my work place are going in for a chat with the manager about any changes that may have occurred, what support u might need when u return (if ur breastfeeding they will arrange breaks to pump etc) and deleting a few emails from ur inbox.. not covering peoples shifts! YANBU. Enjoy ur baby & ur time off.

Cherrytree1621 · 27/06/2021 22:46

@SleepingStandingUp

I'd message them and say you're unable to do any kit days until X date due to your child and that you will contact them at that time to discuss then ignore
This^
Skiptheheartsandflowers · 27/06/2021 22:47

Time for a firmly worded out of office message saying 'I am on maternity leave until 1 December 2021. Your message will not be read until then. For all queries contact...'

waitingforwinter · 27/06/2021 22:48

@D1sc02000 No union unfortunately!

@SleepingStandingUp Yeah that’s maybe a better idea actually!

@mynameiscalypso I’ve already said no to HR and area manager and thought that would be the end of it but now have had another request. It’s the “or I’ll have to deny others their annual leave” that’s annoying me! I don’t think it’s my issue that they’ve left themselves short staffed 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
gurglebelly · 27/06/2021 22:50

I would email all 3 and say that following the contact from all of them you would like to confirm that you intend to take the full 12 months maternity leave, and you can't consider KIT days until closer to your return date. You will be in touch when you are ready to organise these and in the meantime would appreciate it if they could leave you to enjoy your maternity leave without worrying about work

gurglebelly · 27/06/2021 22:50

Oh and ask them not to text you, but to email you which you will check periodically

waitingforwinter · 27/06/2021 22:51

@DaisyChainsForever That’s exactly what my plan was for my KIT days. Was quite happy to go in for a catch up and to even work a day/half day to get back into the swing of things but the fact I’m being asked to cover is annoying me. And it’s to cover for all other management on most of the days so I’d be in sole charge of things (including 3 new staff I’ve never met) despite having not been there for months!

OP posts:
tallduckandhandsome · 27/06/2021 22:53

They’re being CFs. Don’t give in.

waitingforwinter · 27/06/2021 22:54

@gurglebelly No work email unfortunately so everything is sent to my personal email or texts/WhatsApp/fb messenger! I’ve had contact through them all!

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 27/06/2021 22:55

Do you want a year off? If so, reply and tell them that.

LadyCatStark · 27/06/2021 22:55

How many KIT days do you have because it sounds like they’re asking for a lot?!

starfishmummy · 27/06/2021 22:56

YANBU and saying that about denying other peoples leave is definitely not acceptable and feels like blackmail. Its not your fault that they haven't managed things properly

tallduckandhandsome · 27/06/2021 22:56

@Howshouldibehave

Do you want a year off? If so, reply and tell them that.
She already told them that 7 month ago!
Missgemini · 27/06/2021 22:56

They are being absolutely outrageous. You are entitled to your time off without the ridiculous guilt tripping. Do not budge at all. A firm no and make it clear you will not be available until the 1 year point or whenever you decide. How infuriating!

sparemonitor · 27/06/2021 22:57

@Skiptheheartsandflowers

Time for a firmly worded out of office message saying 'I am on maternity leave until 1 December 2021. Your message will not be read until then. For all queries contact...'
even better 'I am on maternity leave until (date). All emails received before then will be auto-deleted. If your email still needs action, please re-send on (date)'
user1471457751 · 27/06/2021 23:16

Kit days are limited to 10 so you wouldn't be able to do the 4x weekend and 6 days anyway. And the emotional blackmail re annual leave is shit. I would be making her aware. It is not your responsibility to cover for crap mgt.

Flamglimglubberty · 27/06/2021 23:17

The comment about denying others is very nearly veering into discrimination territory. Hopefully someone more clued up on the topic can come along and clarify, but they're implying that you're maternity leave is a burden to others and the company. They could potentially get into a lot of trouble with this.

I had a similar comments aimed at me, amongst many other things and after seeking legal advice I was told I would have a strong claim for discrimination. In the end I just found a new job and quit. On top of handling an 9 month old I just didn't have the will or the inclination to pursue a discrimination case (in hindsight I wish I had as they absolutely hounded me out of my job for having the audacity to have a child)

waitingforwinter · 27/06/2021 23:27

@LadyCatStark Yes, I thought the same! I only have 10 as far as I know!

OP posts:
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