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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childminder 3 weeks sick.

112 replies

OttilieStonelady · 27/06/2021 22:17

My childminder is unwell and has messaged to say she is closed for a further two weeks. She's been closed for a week already. Not her fault of course. She's a wonderful lady and I have no doubt that she's actually unwell. I'm just a bit stuck as a lone parent. I can't seem to find any alternative childcare last minute, childminder doesn't know of anyone and all my family work full time. I only have half a day of annual leave left and can't afford to take unpaid time off. Also have a huge deadline at work. Not really sure how Mumsnet can help but could use some words of solidarity and hearing other people's experiences? Feeling extremely anxious about this! It's made me question my parenting ability and whether my child is going to end up in difficult positions in the future because I'm a lone parent with very little help. Thoughts running away with me...

OP posts:
PatchworkElmer · 28/06/2021 07:49

Honestly I’d remove him and get into a nursery ASAP. Much less likely to have this issue in the future with them.

Really hope you can get something sorted OP. This must be so stressful for you.

ivfgottwins · 28/06/2021 07:51

My twins are with a childminder who works with another lady and also an assistant at her house so I get the benefits of a nursery system (ie not relying on one sole adult) but the benefit of a childminder ie the cost!

Long term option if nursery is unaffordable is to see if there are any places like that local to you?
Long wait lists though - I had to put the twins down for a place at 12 weeks pregnant

Ducksarenotmyfriends · 28/06/2021 07:55

Can't your childminder recommend someone? When our childminder is ill or on holiday we rarely have to worry as she has a big network of childminding friends who cover for one another (in normal times anyway!). Dc often already knew the cover childminder as they'll have met them on group days out etc.

languagelover96 · 28/06/2021 08:19

This is a very bad situation but all is not lost however. Forget contacting your local council social services team, this is not their area of expertise.

You are better off calling or emailing local childcare providers directly to find out more. See if your company can also help you out too. Ask other daycare parents about their childcare arrangements and plans- they might be able to offer some solution that works.

Daisy829 · 28/06/2021 08:26

Does your childminder not have other childminder colleagues she can put you in touch with who may be able to help?

C8H10N4O2 · 28/06/2021 08:47

Do you work for a large organisation or public sector? We have have an arrangement with emergency childcare services for this situation which staff can use. Its not right for everyone but it has helped some staff with critical gaps.

Otherwise if its work which can be done remotely and there is a deadline looming you may have to juggle around the clock which isn't fun but may be an option.

Itllbeaninterestingchristmas · 28/06/2021 08:51

There is a county council early years education team, (not social services ) they are very helpful in our area

sparemonitor · 28/06/2021 08:53

Nanny to the rescue on FB does emergency childcare

LollyPops111 · 28/06/2021 08:58

Can you work from home, so you’re able to be with your child and work, let your employers know, they will understand I’m sure.

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 28/06/2021 09:00

I get that you would not trust a student to be in sole charge but would a student in your home with you working from home be an option?

DrGilbertson · 28/06/2021 09:02

Can you work weekends? Could your family do long days childcare saturday and sunday while you go in to the office? Or get a morning babysitter from 5-10am and go into the office for a few hours each morning.

Juststopasking · 28/06/2021 09:03

Love how a Mumsnet solution always includes a nanny. What if the op works at a supermarket or was an admin assistant on £20k a year? Not everyone is earning big bucks.

Scaredycatmoo76 · 28/06/2021 09:04

What ever you decide
I’d look for a different childminder

She obviously has fairly serious health issues.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 28/06/2021 09:04

Most childminders have a strong peer network of other childminders they can refer you to if they are unwell themselves - often people your child will know too, eg people they have regular meet ups with. Bit poor if yours can't offer that.

Depending on how old your children are, you could ask around locally to see if any teens who've just finished A-levels want a couple of weeks babysitting as a quick money earner!

Scaredycatmoo76 · 28/06/2021 09:05

@Juststopasking

Love how a Mumsnet solution always includes a nanny. What if the op works at a supermarket or was an admin assistant on £20k a year? Not everyone is earning big bucks.
To be fair, the Op should clarify financial level then.

In the absence of that info, any solution is worth putting on the table

Scaredycatmoo76 · 28/06/2021 09:06

Ask your childminder for her thoughts.
She’ll have a very strong idea of local options

Scaredycatmoo76 · 28/06/2021 09:06

Maybe a short term nanny share with another parent impacted by the situation

HarebrightCedarmoon · 28/06/2021 09:07

There is usually a local authority childminder website if you are in the UK, which often shows whether they have vacancies, or go on childcare.co.uk and do a local search. Good luck and I hope you manage to get something sorted. Bear

AntiSocialDistancer · 28/06/2021 09:10

@Juststopasking

Love how a Mumsnet solution always includes a nanny. What if the op works at a supermarket or was an admin assistant on £20k a year? Not everyone is earning big bucks.
Does she want to work or not? If you are thinking she can pull reputable childcare help with absolutely no notice on £15 a day you are completely unreasonable.

If it were me I would post on Facebook groups, someone may be DBS checked already as they might help with girl guides or something and be willing to help you and nanny in your home for a couple of weeks.

I agree with switching to a nursery longer term, especially now your baby is a bit older.

AntiSocialDistancer · 28/06/2021 09:10

@Scaredycatmoo76

Maybe a short term nanny share with another parent impacted by the situation
Good idea
Yellow85 · 28/06/2021 09:22

Does your work have a carers leave or parental leave policy? It might be unpaid though, if so do you have flexible benefits that allow you to buy/sell holidays and spread the cost? Or could you negotiate using some leave from next year?

fruitbrewhaha · 28/06/2021 09:28

I definitely wouldn't trust a student I've never met before to look after my child. Call me paranoid!

Even if they were a 4th year med student, or nursing, or a parent themselves.

Does your mum and dad have a friend who's not working. SOmeone you already know?

I'd be doing a call out to everyone I know. Someone will be able to help, even if it's one day here and someone else for a day etc.

CaramelWaferAndTea · 28/06/2021 09:31

I use the app Bubble for cover when my childminder is ill. It’s excellent (in London anyway)and everyone is insured. Once I’ve met someone a couple of times usually happy to leave them unsupervised with my toddler.

My ultimate backup is clubbing onto my friend’s nanny - is this an option?

I know it’s stressful but tbh never had to isolate from our childminder so I think it’s swings and roundabouts - would rather this than nursery bubbles and strict adherence to 6pm collection...

Scaredycatmoo76 · 28/06/2021 09:32

* I'd be doing a call out to everyone I know. Someone will be able to help, even if it's one day here and someone else for a day etc.*

Not necessarily
I’m a single for parent
When my children were very young…
I don’t have parents and one sibling abroad
And all my friends work

So who would I even do a shout out to?!

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 28/06/2021 09:37

I'm so sorry OP, nightmare. I've had similar situation recently ish - on/off significant bouts of sickness from my previously very reliable childminder. Totally had the same "oh shit what have I done to us?!" angst over suddenly realising how vulnerable I was to this as a lone parent, and consequently how vulnerable my children were.

I muddled by with a lot of semi solutions - swapping children with another family using same childminder; childminder's friend having DD; taking leave; doing my best to wfh with DD parked in front of cbeebies (appreciate this is non option for you - was pretty fucking desperate for me tbh but at least I had the luck of physically being at home). Ultimately I did move her to nursery but this was not in any way an instant solution- weeks of settling in.

It was really awful. None of this helps you much, sorry - I hope you can find something ASAP! It took me a long time to recover- one of the hardest times of my life.

Lots of people say this is why they prefer a nursery btw, but equally across two children and many years of childcare there have been many times I've been extremely grateful for the flexibility of a childminder, the fact that with a phone call I can often arrange a slightly later pickup if I need to get something finished, the extended babysitting possibilities at weekends or overnight... I'm not sure it's so straightforward. Even aside from which sort of setting you feel is better for the child. I've used nurseries, childminders, after school clubs... so I'm not philosophically opposed to large group settings at all costs. I think there's pros and cons to all. Basically I want to reassure you that I don't think you've 'caused' this by being a lone parent using a childminder. It's a crap thing to happen to you and you have my sympathy and you'll get through it and it's not your error of judgment. You had appropriate childcare in place and that arrangement failing is unusual and unfortunate.

Flowers