To go to the GP over my child's fussy eating?

[guiltynetter]

DD has just turned 7 and although has always been a fussy eater, recently is getting much worse and the list of foods she will eat is getting smaller and smaller. I struggle what to feed her and I'm completely at a loss what to do. She eats no actual meals and would happily live on crumpets and weetabix if she could. Is it pointless making a GP appointment to ask for advice or is there nothing they could do?

The reason I'm more worried is because we've always 'got by' before but recently she has got a lot worse. I don't know how to handle it. The only thing we used to eat as a family was roast chicken on sandwiches with veg and roast potatoes (she just ate the sandwich part) and yesterday she said she doesn't like that either now. I could cry!

Just for reference, she won't eat...

Anything potato based
Nothing with any type of sauce
No vegetables
No meat other than chicken and ham (for sandwiches)
No fish
Just one fruit (strawberries)

Thanks!

@00100001

does she eat biscuits, cakes, chocolate, crisps, icecream etc?

Yes and would eat them until the cows come home 😳 she is only fussy with actual real food.

You would be unreasonable not to go to the GP based on what you've said. Nutrition is so, so important in childhood, they are literally growing and building the body they will have for the rest of their lives. Go!

@GoFishFingers yes I've talked to her about it but it just always ends in tears. For example last week she decided she didn't like sausages, or bread anymore which previously she would eat. I asked why she didn't like them anymore, did they taste funny, are you fed of them, etc. She doesn't seem to know. She always says 'I wish I liked more things for tea'

Whenever we do have tea she eats it really slowly even if it's something she likes. Sometimes she'll say 'how much more of this do I have to eat before I can go onto pudding?' I just say just eat it all?! Its like she's just enduring it until she gets to pudding (which is fruit, yoghurt, or sometimes a couple of biscuits)

I was just wondering if that was a way to get the calories into her for the time being?

If she'll eat cake and custard etc then give it to her :)

Why does the answer have to be "eat it all"?

And consider giving her pudding first... Make it so it's not a treat or reward. Give her a smaller portion of it helps you.

She always says 'I wish I liked more things for tea'

This is typical ARFID.

Ok so if she will eat "pudding" can you use that to bridge to savoury food but also just get more variety of fruit & veg in?

Look up recipes for carrot cake, beetroot cakes. Muffins with courgette and cheese if she likes a cheese flavour? Flapjacks with apple fine grated in. Would she eat a tomato focacia bread if the tomato was pureed into the dough?

Pancakes but blend fruit into the batter - start with tiny quantities and increase gradually.

Also can you start by offering a plate of "safe" food with a single small new/unaccepted item. Dont make her eat it, but offer a single piece of it every other day for 3 weeks. Then ask her just to touch it. Once a day, for 3 weeks. Then ask her to lick it etc.

Dont stop offering foods she's liked before, keep offering them and don't make a fuss if she doesnt eat them.

Bribing to get them to eat food rarely works well in the long run.

If she is losing weight then calories in is one of the biggest factors to help maintain weight so infact the fact she will happily eat higher calorie foods is good.

We often get over focused on the traditional 3 meals a day approach but that doesn’t work for everyone. Sometimes a little and often approach is better. Again we focus on what should be eaten at meals but crumpets at tea time is better than nothing!

Don’t let her see your worried and frustrated. That will only make things worse.

I would do a food diary for a month to see exactly what she is eating. It’s limited sure, but with milk/ yogurt/ cheese she’s getting enough of protein and vitamins, eats carbs etc, and a multi vitamin you add.

I remember my brother had similar and I think advice was to find favourite things and slowly expand options with things that are very similar.

If she likes crumpets for example, could you try pancakes? You could try thin crepes and thick American types. If she likes those, they are a good way of getting egg into her.

If she likes strawberries could you try similar fruits gradually. Ie one raspberry with a pot of strawberries.

At 7 years I think you can also talk to her about how important different foods are as different ones contain different vitamins to help keep her strong. And how she doesn’t have to like everything or eat everything but you would really like her to try just a tiny bit of new foods.

It's so so hard isn't it. Feeding your child is such a fundamental part of nurturing them.

My dd2 has autism and had a very limited range of foods when she was young-plain pasta, plain rice, broccoli, ham, tomatoes and cucumber. I also went to the GP (long before her autism was diagnosed) and he very sensibly advised me not to get into battles over food, what she was eating was fairly healthy and to keep giving her vitamins. It really took the pressure off and she very gradually added the odd new food. She's always been very slim but strong and sporty. She also learned to cook very young as she's suspicious of food prepared by others. She never ate a school dinner either. At 19 her diet is fine if a bit limited and she still prefers to cook for herself and smells everything before eating!

So I would say try to relax, feed her what she will eat that is healthy plus the odd treat and if she asks for something new try to be neutral about it rather than jumping up and down with joy!

OP I feel your pain!
One of my dc was super fussy & had a sms appetite. Food was just not a motivator whatsoever for them.
I stressed about it but after chatting to our GP I tried a different approach.

We did little & often & I put all the food put at the same time. We used to give a tray on front of the tv so they would distractedly end up eating.
Other times we'd set the table elebotately tea party style & cut up things v small - sandwiches / cake etc

If on a tray I would put lots of things into ramekins - fruit in one, cheese created or cubed in another, garlic bread in a 3rd, etc
It kept everything seperate &each little pot was enticing.
If she wanted pasta I used a good knob of butter & lots of grated cheese. I added cream to things. Always organic whole fat milk.
I made lots of things like pancakes
I tried to up the calorie count in all parts of the meal she would eat.
I tried to add components to a meal so if she ate pasta I always gave garlic bread & olives, if we had curry I always added poppadoms as well as rice. She ate small portions always
Rice pudding with whole milk & cream
Lots of homemade smoothie s
It was v v v tough & she was underweight most of her childhood
She's a teen now & v v slight but has a much broader range of foods now

@guiltynetter

I found it easier to list what she won't eat than what she will 🙈 to be honest id say she doesn't genuinely enjoy ANY meal or food. Its there to be endured until she can have some fruit or something sweet for pudding.

She will eat

Cheese (normal and spread cheese)
Crackers
Crumpets, potato cakes, milk roll bread, wraps
Weetabix and shreddies
One brand of chicken nugget
Plain pasta
Plain rice
Yoghurts
Strawberries
Water thin ham
Used to eat roast chicken as of yesterday 😳
Tomato soup at a push

I think that's it.

I've seen worse diets! My son is a very plain eater and likes plain pasta, plain chicken and broccoli for dinner. He has cousins of varying ages all under ten and one only really likes potatoes and will have a bowl of mash or roasties for dinner. Another spent a couple of years on ham sandwiches for most meals. I do think more kids are getting the same tea every night than you'd think and it's usually chicken nuggets and chips. Not on MN obviously because children here tuck into five bean stews and root vegetable casseroles with gay abandon but in the real world you're not alone with this. I would maybe add some Floradix or something along with the abidec to make sure she's getting enough iron and just keep offering new things because they can sometimes surprise you.

Also try the roast chicken again in a couple of weeks. I think when they are fussy we tend to give them the same thing a lot of the time and no wonder they get sick of it and need a break. It's a good time to try something with a sketchy history of acceptance that you'd given up on like sausages or something.

I weighed her this morning for the first time since March and she has lost 2kg.

If you make this clear to a gp, the fact that she's losing weight should help speed up referral to dietician. Make it sound super vital that she's seen ASAP xx

A 7 yr old losing 2kg and not eating well is worrying. Don't stress where the calories are coming from right now, just get them down her.

Longer term you and she really need help getting to the bottom of it.
If she restricts her diet further the weight loss will be obvious and harder to deal with.

Your descriptions do sound like ARFID to me.

This is ridiculous! Give her a choice: what you’ve cooked or nothing. She’ll soon start eating.
Jesus Christ, you lot are giving children too much power! SMH

@VinceBitMe

This is ridiculous! Give her a choice: what you’ve cooked or nothing. She’ll soon start eating. Jesus Christ, you lot are giving children too much power! SMH

This method doesn’t work for all children. There are some who will literally starve before putting anything which isn’t safe in their mouth

@VinceBitMe

This is ridiculous! Give her a choice: what you’ve cooked or nothing. She’ll soon start eating. Jesus Christ, you lot are giving children too much power! SMH

Think yourself lucky that you don't know what you're talking about!

@VinceBitMe

This is ridiculous! Give her a choice: what you’ve cooked or nothing. She’ll soon start eating. Jesus Christ, you lot are giving children too much power! SMH

Have I been teleported back to the 1940s

@VinceBitMe

This is ridiculous! Give her a choice: what you’ve cooked or nothing. She’ll soon start eating. Jesus Christ, you lot are giving children too much power! SMH

I suggest you look up ARFID.

Your approach would be incredibly detrimental.

OP you don’t mention eggs at all (in the ‘will eat’ or ‘won’t eat’ lists - so I suspect she won’t) but if by any chance she does, pancakes and omelettes can be great carby boosters. I’m pretty sure you know all this though!
Fluffy American pancake with strawberries and cream?

@VinceBitMe

This is ridiculous! Give her a choice: what you’ve cooked or nothing. She’ll soon start eating. Jesus Christ, you lot are giving children too much power! SMH

You sound just like my in-laws. That is why we are now low/no contact. If you have never had a child with ARFID, please do not comment. My DS who has SEN, has this. My DH family are like you and they traumatised him. Now they are no longer part of our lives. Why do people think it is ok to bully children into eating? Would you shove good down your husband/wife/work colleague’s throat?

Food

Also OP, if your DD will eat eggs they can be made into French toast: egg fried rice : pancakes; if they don’t like the egg by itself.

@VinceBitMe

This is ridiculous! Give her a choice: what you’ve cooked or nothing. She’ll soon start eating. Jesus Christ, you lot are giving children too much power! SMH

Meanwhile this evening I am celebrating because DS asked for, and ate, an ice cream for the first time in years!

I would be worried that she has lost 2 kg - that's a lot for a child to lose.
To get the weight back, I suggest you give her the cake, the chocolate etc that she enjoys eating.
You could also try reverse psychology. Put a very small portion on her plate, then say, 'oh, I think I've given you too much, you'll never eat all that.'
Then go about your own business, and leave her to 'surprise' you when she eats it all. Be very surprised and delighted.
That worked with my granddaughter, but she was younger.
The foods you have listed sound alright, but definitely try getting her weight back up, and it doesn't matter what she eats to do that.