Toxic parent

[2020mumma]

My mum is/ or was toxic.

But since having my daughter she has been helpful & held her tongue on opinions etc.

She had previously said that when I got pregnant it was the worst thing I could ever do to her !

She has now met my daughter been generous and helpful but I still have nightmares. I am keeping contact with her for m daughter but even before I had her I wanted to cut her off but just couldn't as she has no one else.

I feel stuck because she has no one else and she has been generous and bought things but she has always been one to buy things but she has never been one to deal with her issues.

I'm confused as a lot of what she has done I see why but also I have issues but would never do the same to my daughter.

This is long sorry & probably confusing but just looking for advice

I feel she has been kind enough to help me and my partner with money but she has also guilt tripped me all my life and I can't seem to shake that I don't like her, but now I feel like im trapped

but now I feel like im trapped

The operative words here are 'feel like'. You're not, though I know that's easier to write than do. You are under no obligation to a woman who has been toxic towards you most of your life. And maybe buying things is her way of keeping you hanging on to the string.

Ask yourself why she has no-one else. Maybe other people have seen through her and dropped her?

Do you feel like what she's doing now is genuine or is this another way to manipulate you? Do you want your daughter to grow up around her, if there's a chance history will repeat itself on her?

If you are having nightmares, it was bad and I'd recommend therapy to help you deal with the past trauma. But your mother is not your responsibility. If you want to be NC do it.