My husband is an alcoholic. He was drinking vodka while out in the car with our toddler and baby.
So many times over the years I thought about leaving as his behaviour was erratic and we were tiptoeing around him.
When I found out that he was putting our kids in that situation I asked him to leave. I said it was his choice if he stopped drinking or not but made it very clear that our marriage was over if he didn't.
We have had a few false starts and bumps in the road but he is sober now, he's still not living at home but I am considering having him back. He's taking it very seriously (alcoholics anonymous, help from GP and marriage counselling for us both) and making a huge effort with the children. I hope this has been the rock bottom he needed to make a change.
I can afford to be without him as once he wasn't living here- he initially did 3 weeks at his parents, then 3 in a hotel before renting a room in someone's house- I took him off the council tax and claimed universal credit. I do work but only 20 hours a week as I have a baby. Look on entitled.to for an idea of what you could claim.
He's been living away from home for 3.5 months so it's not been quick and it won't be soon that he moves back in, if I decide I can trust him to.
Al anon is useful for people affected by others drinking - the take home being that you are powerless to their drinking, you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure them. That's been useful for me as I have spent years trying to stop him drinking and that's not possible. Loving detachment is possible. Lots of the meetings are online now which is helpful when you have kids at home, you don't need to attend your local one when it's online.
I don't know how we will work out but I feel cautiously optimistic for the first time in years. I guess what I'm saying is if you love him without the drink it doesn't have to be the end but it is up to him to make the change.
Feel free to pm me.