To be disgusted with DPs family for keeping this secret?

[disteso]

I've name changed for this post.

Me and DP are in our 20s, a few months ago his ‘cousin’ told him that their brothers and that they have the same dad (his dad passed away a few years ago so DP couldn't ask him either). DP brushed it off and didn't really have any proof, he just thought he had jumped to that conclusion when he thought the family didn't care about his dads death. He kept saying it and he told DP why he thought it and DP started to believe him.

DP asked his mum and she denied it, he then said that he'd do a DNA test then and she admitted it. He then found out that everyone knew including the man who thought was his dad.

DP was understandably very angry and decided to not talk to them for a while. His family then started blaming his half brother and called him spiteful for telling DP the family secret.

DP still doesn't want to talk to them but his mum has called him ‘selfish’ as his sister (11) misses him, even though his mum stopped them from contacting each other until DP starts talking to them!

DP still doesn't know what he wants to do yet but he's still angry for being lied to.

What a mess! I feel sorry for the brothers, they're innocent in all of this and shouldn't have been lied to. I'm sure your dp is still in shock and finding it hard to process the new reality. Hope he finds closure.

This sounds very strange

This happened to a couple of friends of mine. One never got past it (but I haven't seen him for over 20 years, so he's probably OK now); the other took it on the chin, said it answered a few questions.

It's entirely raesonable for your dh to be angry about this, and I think he might feel better if he has a proper talk with his mum. Whether he does or not, his sister needs him; it's incredibly stupid of his mum to put a stop to that. She needs to start thinking about her children as people with feelings, and develop a bit of empathy.

I would run a mile from this family.