to refuse to commit to arrangements to meet up at various play groups etc with other mums!

[sunglasses]

I am just not that organised!!!
I have 2 children of 2 and 6 months and I have no idea how long it is gonna take me to get us all ready and who is gonna be asleep or when they will wake up etc so no i cant say I will definitely be at such and such a place at 4.15 or whatever!
Truth be known this concerns one mother in particular who constantly boasts that she gave herself two activities to go to each day when her children were small to keep them occupied and out and about- I just dont have the time or energy some days. What with cooking, shopping, cleaning, feeding and sleeping ( kids not me) I am chuffed that I actually get out the door some days and when I do I am just trying to time it so I can get back in time for Lunch or tea or nap time etc. Trying to co ordinate this with someone else is just too much. SO STOP PESTERING ME
I am being unreasonable arent I?

Sunglasses, I am like you. I make the effort for very close friends, because I like their company. Can't be bothered for other P&T activities, which are deadly dull anyway.

When I was on maternity leave with my second child, I thought 'Great', all this time to make friends with the mothers on my road and go to activities together. In the end, although I had only 1 baby to care for, I had a school run for the older child, and if I even met up with one mother, that would put my whole day out of kilter and make me even more stressed when I get home. So the number of activities I did throughout my 11 months maternity leave I could probably count on 2 hands.

BTW the mother whose dd had at least one activity scheduled per day did not get round to opening her dd's bank account until 18 months later. I can't live like that.

sunglasses, sounds like this woman just needs somebody to talk at rather than with. You can chose not to be that for her if you dont particularly like her company.
It sounds to me that you manage perfectly well as long as you can led your kids lead you. And by that i dont mean they are the boss, but you follow their patterns and leave the house when it suits you and them. Some mums NEED to get out and at playgroups because they find it hard to cope with the kids at home. You dont strike me as that sort of person, from your posts. Just keep enjoying your kids and what you do with them, without pressure from other people regards to what you should or should not do on the "mums circuit".

Mrs slocomb are you for real?
Perhaps I could pass on my pestering mother to you and you could all meet up for an organised mother and toddler assault course/ coffe/ chat/ boast off! at 8.20 prompt.
Read the post again I didnt say I turned up late

Hooray for all you others like me- I would love to meet up with my real friends and have a laugh and a proper conversation but talking to other mothers about children is usually really dull! Perhaps I just need to find some like minded parents. I dont like going to things just to fill my day like I think my pestering mum does. If my kids are tired or under the weather or just whingey etc I would rather not inflict it upon them just so I get to have a superficial natter.

Of course I am!

I have to be. I'm more organised and efficient now than I ever was when I just had 2 children.
If I wasn't like this none of the children would get to school, see their friends or do any other activities.

It's not a hard thing to do.

I don't like routine and have quite a laissez faire attitude to life by nature, but I can't be like that and run a large family

MrsSLocomb, I too am like you in that I am organized, I need to leave the house at a specific time to get my oldest to school every morning, but what I chose to do with my toddler is a completely different matter. Playgroups are not for everyone! I dont take sunglasses post as her being disorganized an unable to get out to playgroup, but that she rather let her baby sleep in her cot till her nap finnishes rather than being dragged out if she doesnt have to. Those are different things.

I used to know someone who would turn up to every 'playdate/meet-up' with her diary ready to book you into another slot the following week! I know I should have been pleased she wanted to see me but she was a bit odd to be honest and it was very difficult to say no. Just saying' I'm a bit busy at the moment' didn't work she just suggested the following week or the next. I found it very stifling! Luckily I moved...

HairyToe- Yes thats it exactly, I feel i have to be pencilled in and there is no room for oh I might see you there , see how we get on kind of stuff and that is pressure in a way and yes stifling. and thanks quintessential I do try and fit things around my childrens needs and as these can vary from day to day its often hard to make the kind of definite arrangements you can when its just you. Like now- my baby is still asleep when normally she is up and having milk but because she is teething she slept later so I am not gonna wake her up just to be somewhere I dont really need to be. I will go when she wakes up- oh Now in fact

I think as your children get older you will find that life becomes a mixture of necessity and choice.
Sometimes you will have to disturb a younger child's routine or they fit in round you.

My younger two don't have 'nap times' per se. If we are out and they are tired they will fall asleep. If we are in and they are tired I put them to bed.

I see what you mean about this other mother and I think she needs to flexible. All sorts of things can happen when kids are involved!
I would not like to 'penciled in' on a weekly basis either.

Sorry I think I misread the gist of your op

Haven't read all the posts, but if it is a group of you meeting up, could you say "I'll come if I can get it organised, but by all means go without me and expect me if you see me". I know a girl who is pg and has a toddler and she just says to her friends that she will make it if she can. Everyone understands. (Unless they are perfect mummy with perfect children!)

Changing the subject entirely for a mo- Hairy Toe- just read your profile. You have very similar tastes to me.
I have in fact met Noel Fielding and no I didn't want to mother him!
That was before marriage and children though and he seems to be bedding most of celeb- ville currently.
Sorry bout that. kids are in bed and feeling adult again!

Monday I'm slobby, chill-out mummy & Friday I'm uber organised Mummy 'cos got Tumbletots to get my 2 to, otherwise absent mummy midweek due to work.

Have received a text out of the blue asking my ds to meet up with a child he knew through nursery...and I'm the one who's nervous (idiot) since never done a 'playdate' before (God, I hate that word).

ok, I better reassure people that I don't spend all my time at home and do like to go out and I think if I genuinely liked this person I wouldnt feel so hassled and would push myself to meet up more. The bottom line is I think she seems to be the type with loads of 'friends' i.e people she meets up with on a regular basis to fill her social diary and I dont want to be nagged into making arrangements for days or weeks in advance when I suppose I would rather just bump into her occassionally or meet up with her at things if I fancied going on a whim. I suppose I need some more friends with kids and that way I could avoid her advances!! I am sure I will be able to attend more groups etc as my little one gets older as she will start to enjoy socialising more too.
Was good to rant though!