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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not stop for a dead cat

247 replies

Myusername33 · 26/06/2021 21:37

I recently passed a very recently deceased cat at the side of a busy road when I was driving with my kids in the car, I didn’t stop because I wasn’t going to stop in a busy road and leave my kids sitting there while I picked up a dead cat. I later saw someone had put a post up about the dead cat on the local community fb page saying they had picked it up and taken it to the vet so the owner could be found but they were disappointed that not only had someone hit the cat and not stopped but also lots of people had driven past without stopping, the owner of the cat eventually appeared to say how devastated they were that someone had hit their beloved cat and not stopped.

Aibu to not stop and pick up someone else’s dead cat from the road? I actually think it pretty unreasonable to let your cat out to run around in the road and get annoyed at the person that hit it for not stopping, I’m sure they didn’t set out to run over the cat and it was an unavoidable accident. If I hit a cat I would stop if I could do it safely but my kids and my own safety would be a priority over someone else’s cat that shouldn’t have been on the road in the first place.

OP posts:
RogueMNerHidesUnderBigHat · 26/06/2021 23:18

@Sparklingbrook

You know OP didn't kill the cat, right?

I am starting to wonder TBH.

I wondered exactly the same thing!
CupOfTPlease · 26/06/2021 23:19

someone else’s cat that shouldn’t have been on the road in the first place.

Urgh. You are horrible and have no compassion.

If only the cats would learn how to cross safely. How inconsiderate.

Anyway don't know why you started a whole thread on not stopping. Well done you?

Chickychoccyegg · 26/06/2021 23:21

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CupOfTPlease · 26/06/2021 23:22

You hit the cat didn't you?

I saw a dead cat on the grass. I knocked the house opposite to where the cat was laying to see if they knew who the cat belonged to before I took the cat to the vet. The cat had no collar on and they did know the people who's cat it was.

FlaminEckVera · 26/06/2021 23:28

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MissJeanLouise · 26/06/2021 23:34

@RogueMNerHidesUnderBigHat
@Sparklingbrook

Me too - OP is very keen to justify that it was ‘probably unavoidable’, ‘not the driver’s fault’, that they ‘probably didn’t intend to hit it’ (did the owners - whose fault it definitely was - intend for it to get hit?), that it ‘wasn’t safe’ to stop although she was apparently going slow enough to notice that the cat was only ‘very recently deceased’ (but it definitely was deceased, so as to absolve her of any moral responsibility to seek treatment if it had only recently been hit but could have been helped).
I’ve never hit an animal while driving. It may happen one day, and if it did, it may or may not be my fault - in this case it may well have been unavoidable as the OP suggests. I still think that the driver should stop though.

Mathshelpme · 26/06/2021 23:37

I had a cat once, and it was an indoor cat, because I know that outdoor cats tend not to live as long and often end up hit by cars. If you have a cat and let it outside, you must know that this is a possibility…so personally, I would blame the owner.

If I drove past a dead cat I would not stop. Same as I wouldn’t stop for a dead dog or any other dead animal that I didn’t hit.

Delicatesubjectsadly · 26/06/2021 23:54

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mag2305 · 27/06/2021 00:07

It's one of those things you have to judge accordingly really in the moment. If it was a fast road and you had your children to consider, you did the right/responsible thing.
There have been various campaigns to make it law for stopping if you hit a cat, like dogs. Unfortunately, no changes yet. I saw a dead cat on the road last year and did have my little boy with me, but it wasn't a busy road and I could stop safely with the car really close. As I had my son with me, I didn't want to put the cat in the car as it had bled a lot but instead I knocked on a house opposite and the owner was located.
I just don't understand how people can hit animals, pets even, and just carry on. My dad hit a dog once which sadly died. He was devastated but did the right thing and stopped. Turned out the owners were at fault as they let it run out the front door.

CastawayQueen · 27/06/2021 00:22

YANBU.
Even if you HAD hit the cat (as people have been insinuating) if it ran out into the road and couldn’t stop in time it’s not your fault.
I have known accidents caused by people stopping for animals running out suddenly causing the car behind to break.
The safety of humans in the car is always paramount to an animal.
We have a cat and while I’m attached to it I also know that it unlike a dog cannot be controlled. I’ve accepted the risk of things happening t it that will never happen to our dog.

TheNestedIf · 27/06/2021 00:47

I was once on a bus. On the other side of the road, we passed a cat that had not only been hit but utterly flattened. It was just a tabby pattern on the road with nothing more than one ear sticking up. I hated to think of the owners finding it or, even worse, their children seeing it, if they had any.

I would have stopped. A man knocked my childhood cat down and killed him. He not only stopped but he took it to a vet and left a note at the nearby garage, which is how we found out what had happened. A very kind man.

Lifeisforalimitedperiodonly · 27/06/2021 00:59

In my area there is a FaceBook 'Lost and found cats' group. If people can't stop for whatever reason when they have seen a deceased cat, they post on the group with a description and location and a nice lady with a scanner goes and scans for a chip so the owners can be found. She then takes the cat to the vet.

Lancrelady80 · 27/06/2021 01:22

Op:

  1. You are right, it's completely unreasonable to expect anyone to put themselves or their children in danger for the sake of a dead animal. And I would also include even if you were the person who hit it.
  1. Depending on the other traffic, weather, bends in road etc you MAY have been able to stop and move the body safely. There's no obligation to do so, but it's generally considered a nice and compassionate thing to do if you can, to allow the poor creature some dignity in death and spare the poor owner the knowledge it was run over by multiple cars and had to be picked up in a bucket, flies and all. Some people couldn't do it because of safety - fine. Some people couldn't do it because of upsetting kids - fine. Some people couldn't do it because they're squeamish- fine. It's the people who couldn't be arsed to spare 2 mins of their day to at least move the body, who couldn't give a flying fuck, that the FB post was talking about by the sounds of it. No obligation to do so, but very telling about their characters.

HOWEVER... you are absolutely horribly, almost viciously unreasonable in stating clearly and repeatedly that it was the owner's fault the cat died. Goady beyond belief. Accidents happen. This was obviously an accident. Why be an arse about it?

MoppaSprings · 27/06/2021 01:48

I’m a bit baffled by this right to roam thing, why can’t you keep your cat indoors? ( I am not a cat person or have much interest in them so not being goady).

I’m in Australia and in my area people who don’t keep their cats in( especially at night) are seen as irresponsible. This is mainly to protect native species.

catswhiskers89 · 27/06/2021 02:10

I'm one of those people who would throw my coat over my Pyjamas at 10 o'clock at night and drive twenty minutes to collect a dead cat that had been reported on FB. I've done this on three separate occasions BUT if it's unsafe to stop then I wouldn't expect you to put yourself at genuine risk. It would however break my heart to leave a cat on the road regardless of whether I hit it or not. I would at the very least post on my local FB group to report it and explain that I couldn't stop as unsafe.

Saoirse82 · 27/06/2021 02:31

Cats are outdoor animals, you can't train them to use the green cross fucking code! How in the hell would it be the owners fault? Cats roam, its what they do! OP i doubt you ever owned a cat, total BS because you're clueless about them and I'm totally convinced you ran over the cat and pissed off or you wouldn't have started this thread and been trying to convince people that it's the owners fault and not the piece of shit who hit the cat and drove off. Accidents happen, yes, but you don't drive off and leave someone's pet on the road! Vile!

SelkieQualia · 27/06/2021 02:34

The first rule of the ambulance officer is DO NOT CREATE ANOTHER CASULTY. So no, you should not stop on a busy road and put yourself and your children at risk. I've seen the case study of a car with children in being rear ended by a vehicle at high speed, and it still makes my blood run cold.

I'm in Australia, like a PP, and so would also consider this a result of irresponsible cat ownership. Cats who roam are at risk.

StuffinThePuffin · 27/06/2021 02:41

OP, are you absolutely sure that you didn't run over this cat?

I don't think that people who drive past a dead cat are doing anything wrong. There are all sorts of reasons why it might not be possible for random people to stop and deal with that. They might not even notice it.

However, you might think that one ought to stop if they are the one who hit the cat... Maybe it would stick in your mind all day and then you'd write a MN post about it...

SelkieQualia · 27/06/2021 02:54

Even if OP did hit the cat, she shouldn't stop off its not safe to do so.

SelkieQualia · 27/06/2021 02:56

*if

SelkieQualia · 27/06/2021 03:50

@StuffinThePuffin

OP, are you absolutely sure that you didn't run over this cat?

I don't think that people who drive past a dead cat are doing anything wrong. There are all sorts of reasons why it might not be possible for random people to stop and deal with that. They might not even notice it.

However, you might think that one ought to stop if they are the one who hit the cat... Maybe it would stick in your mind all day and then you'd write a MN post about it...

OP states it was because there was a social media witch hunt going on about people who had driven past.
JellyTumble · 27/06/2021 03:56

YANBU. People can’t be all “oh but they have a right to roam and do whatever they want!” yet at the same time “but they’re a lovely household pet and should be treated like one!”

No. A dog? Yes, stop for it. A cat? No.

If you won’t keep your car indoors and refuse to catproof your garden then it really is on you if something happens to it and it should be treated like any other wild animal.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 27/06/2021 04:13

OP you sound dreadful.

I once hit a cat, it was awful. It came out if a field at speed and went straight under my car. I couldn't avoid it. Of course I stopped. I picked it up, it was still alive but died within a few minutes. There is no way I would have left it. I knocked on doors until I found the owner who was devastated but very grateful I'd stopped.

Years ago I read somewhere that it's useful to carry an old towel in your boot in case you need to pick up a dead or injured animal. I was very glad I had a towel in my boot so that I could hold the cat safely and then wrap him up.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 27/06/2021 04:16

There are some right dicks on this thread

sophiasnail · 27/06/2021 06:04

I probably wouldn't stop for a dead cat (that someone else hit) but 1000% would stop for a dead dog. Can't really explain why.

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