Family time

[Zelda93]

Posting here I need some perspective as to whether I am being controlling as my dh describes it.

So he works away and is On a rotation of 3 weeks on and 3 weeks off . I also work full time from home and dd is at childminders for 4 days a week.

So hubby has a hobby he loves and doesn't get much time to do so. He's also been complaining we don't spend enough time with dd as we went away last month and had a really great time with her and did loads of things with her on the other weekends now restrictions are being lifted.

He has just told me this trip home he's arranged to go out all day doing his hobby Sunday weekend 1, out Wednesday week 1 and then go away Saturday / Sunday night last weekend .. we go away on short break middle weekend.

I have a bit of an issue that it's 2 of the weekends .. I work all week so no family time unless I take leave which it's too late to do so now.

Am I being controlling feeling unhappy that out of the three weekends he's spending two of them on his hobby.. he has all week to do his hobby I'm working .. dd in childminders so no impact on our family time..

Am I controlling??

Depends whether this happens every time he is home. If his weekend away doing his hobby is a one off or once/twice a year I’d be ok with that, if it’s every time he’s home then that’s not ok. It’s all about balance.
Do you get equal chance to go out/away with friends?

If its a one off it wouldn't bother me, but if its a regular occurrence then it isn't fair to you.

He can't complain about no time with DD and then take himself out the game during the days you could have family time. Or would he do things with her by himself on the days you are working?

It's not controlling to point out the fundamental flaw in his desire for time together whilst arranging hobby time.

He’s being VVU.
He’s basically opting out of being a parent.
A) Why did he not discuss it with you
B) where’s YOUR hobby tome
C) what the hell is he doing with all that free time all week while DD is at childminders