To find it so hard to accept my life?

[Defeatedbylife]

My son is disabled, no chance of an independent life ever.Today im finding it so hard to accept.Im finding it so hard to watch other families around me planning trips, taking their kids to different places having fun with them.i cant enjoy my kids because of the restrictions my disabled son has put on all our lives.my son hates being outside and screams non stop after a few minutes, doesnt matter where we go,theres no calming him.ive tried everything, ive lost count of the amount of times weve drove somewhere as a family and drove home within minutes of arriving.ive lost count of the amount of times ive wiped away my other kids sad and frustrated tears.six long weeks of being cooped up indoors lie ahead and i feel like climbing into bed and never getting out.im so jealous of everyone with a normal life.
Not looking for anything by writing this post,just had to get my feelings out.

OP I wonder if you could contact
Some charities for advice?

contact.org.uk
Or

newlifecharity.co.uk/docs/care-services/Free-Helpline.shtml

I'm sure these charities can help you find some support and help with applications.

I used to work in respite care for children with disabilities and came across many mums lie you that were doing their absolute best for their family and exhausted . The other children often missed out on so many things became their sibling had to be the main focus for every one else's safety.
Many would absolutely refuse residential for a long time but some did it a go. The reasons were they felt they were 'shoving their child away or ' giving up on him'
They were also surprised that once a child went into residential care the child thrived. Staff have more energy and resources and facilities to support a child than the average family.
The child is with other children and attachments and friendships are formed.
I'm not suggesting it is easy and parents have said the first few weeks are difficult.
You would not be rejecting your child to consider this support but helping him to become settled.
Maybe the time isn't right at the moment but maybe it us something to consider in the future.

@NoTruckWithFrontedAdverbials don’t worry. I just meant to say that wealthy children can be disabled too.
In my case, we put a lot of effort in to ensure our other 2 children don’t fall behind or suffer in anyway. DD is doing very well at school & does many extra curricular activities. She’s county level for athletics. The insinuation that all siblings of disabled children need help to put them on a level playing field was upsetting, I just took it too personally but thank you for acknowledging the comment.

I understand you feel strongly about residential care. It was a last resort for us. He's home 3 nights a week and I'm rested and better able to cope. The placement is in 12 acres of grounds and is amazing. When he's there he does so much more than we could manage. The key is finding the right place. I also have half an eye on the future. Better that he gets used to supported living gradually now as it preps him for the future when I'm no longer around
It's unlikely social would jump to residential from 2 hours per week. They tend to gradually increase the input as needs increase. I would focus on getting more hours per week and employing a personal assistant

Do you get respite care so perhaps you and the other kids can go out and enjoy yourselves? Get on to everyone you can think of and kick up a stink until you get it. Not only do you deserve it but you and the other kids NEED it.