To not want to buy friends drinks?

[veryberryj]

Just the two of us going out tonight.
I have budgeted £60 for myself for tonight.
I only really fancy Malibu and maybe one cocktail.
My friend drinks cocktails all night.
They are around £9 each where we are going.

The drink orders are taken by bar staff per table.
So it's going to end up being a round each.
So her cocktail will be £9 and my Malibu £5 tops.

Basically I can't afford this.
Aibu to ask if we can just pay separately?
Otherwise it's too complicated
Then my friend gets too drunk and will forget it's her turn to pay.

Just say I'm going to be getting my own drinks tonight, so let's let's lay separately.

Just be honest, if she's a real friend she will understand.

Not unreasonable at all.

Pay separately. That's fair enough

YANBU. If I was your friend I would offer anyway. I have a veggie friend who doesn't drink much and we never split the bill as mine is always more than hers and I make it clear I'm covering my own bill.

Yanbu...I hate this. I don't really drink...I would have one drink maximum whereas my friends drink all night. Say from the start that you're on a budget so won't be drinking much so you'll have a separate bill.

Just say let's get our own drinks it doesn't have to be a big deal.
I've got some friends I always do rounds with and others I never do. Some because they're really tight and I can't be arsed with that and some because they don't drink as much and that's not really fair.

YANBU

If it's orders/bill by table agree to a "kitty" up front and state you'll put in the cost of one cocktail plus X Malibu's.

She can then add the cost of X cocktails to the kitty.

If you want more drinks add more to the kitty on the same basis.

If she kicks off she's not a friend (FWIW if I was drinking more expensive drinks than a friend I'd automatically offer to pay the excess without being asked).

Job done.

Definitely not unreasonable to say (at the beginning) that you want to pay for your own drinks.
I wouldn't be surprised if she miraculously drinks less and stops "forgetting" its her turn to order.

YANBU. I’m teetotal so I certainly never contribute to my friends alcoholic drinks.

Missing the point but please tell us you're eating too?

£60 worth of Malibu

Yanbu btw

Yeah just say you're gonna get your own, no big deal. Rounds are common in my friends groups too but there's never a problem if someone wants to stay out of the round.

@PandasCatsWolves £60 on a night out without food seems normal enough to me.

Any reasonable person would easily notice that it's not a fair share of drinks and offer to pay the excess accordingly. Normally, this would be the person having the expensive drinks. They'd be aware and offer to pay - since no decent person would want to be thought of as 'the person who ordered the expensive drinks at someone else's expense'.

I'd be quite conscious of ordering the most expensive of anything in that sort of situation.

Anyway, the onus is on the one with the lion's share of the expense to cough up.

Yeah just drinks.
It's for taxis too and maybe a pizza after we have been out.

@PandasCatsWolves £60 on a night out without food seems normal enough to me.

@shivawn Literally just pissing your money away.

Yanbu, I always pay separately for the opposite reason, I hate to drink at the speed of my friends or drink mediocre wine.

Not at all unreasonable. Years ago I went out with friends as a student, and had a pasta dish and a Coke to avoid spending loads. They all had cocktails, steaks and desserts. Mine came to £15, they then decided to split the bill equally at £45 each, which I just didn't have at the time. I explained this and that mine only came to £15 so ended up only paying mine, although they weren't pleased. I'd have felt worse afterwards if I ended up paying over the odds for everyone else while I'd had so much less though!

[quote JellyTumble]**@PandasCatsWolves £60 on a night out without food seems normal enough to me.

@shivawn Literally just pissing your money away.[/quote]
Meh. I work hard and save over half my wages so I'm completely happy to spend money enjoying myself. 🤷‍♀️

Just tell your friend you are on a budget, friends shouldn't have a problem with this.

[quote JellyTumble]**@PandasCatsWolves £60 on a night out without food seems normal enough to me.

@shivawn Literally just pissing your money away.[/quote]
Well if they eat they're literally shitting it away so...

Taxi there and back would be £16, one cocktail £9 so 25. Fiver for a pizza, £30. That's only 6 small drinks plus the cocktail. If she's going out at 7-1 that's one drink an hour.

Well if they eat they're literally shitting it away so...

@SleepingStandingUp 😂

People have to eat. They don’t have to drink alcohol.

People can spend their money how they want but I think they’re absolute idiots if they’re spending that much just to piss it away 🤷‍♀️

Bit harsh on the criticism of folks spending on drink...

If it's something they enjoy, and they are spending within their means, I don't really see a problem. We all pay over the odds for food on fancy nights out, because we are paying for more than the food itself - the service, the atmosphere etc. It's no different for drinks.

I don't care what your spend money on. Treat yourself. I would!

It was the idea of £60 of Malibu was making me a bit.

I am teetotal but spending money on alcohol is no different to spending it on hair / nails / clothes / food or whatever other “treat” people enjoy.

Just buy your own drinks.

@JellyTumble

Well if they eat they're literally shitting it away so...

@SleepingStandingUp 😂

People have to eat. They don’t have to drink alcohol.

People can spend their money how they want but I think they’re absolute idiots if they’re spending that much just to piss it away 🤷‍♀️

If you drink anything other than water you're literally pissing your money away. Let people enjoy things