Passive aggressive

[Notsopassive]

Is this passive aggression??
For example, if I ask would you put your washing up in the sink please ?
Some time later if I leave something out, dp will ask me to put washing up in the sink.
If dp upsets me, a few days later I am accused of something using the same words I used.
I don’t know if I am making sense here.
It is hard to describe because as I write it seems petty and that I am UR, perhaps even expecting double standards. On the other hand I know the sensation inside my body is not healthy when interacting in them.
Another thing, dp will always want something if I have it, but won’t do it himself. So if they are cold and I get up to use the use bathroom. They will ask me to shut the window, or get them a drink, run some errand for them, I don’t know why this annoys me. It makes me feel like they can’t be bothered to do it for some themselves but will pounce if I am getting up. Opportunistic, always wanting something. Oh I don’t know what is wrong with this. I only know it pisses me off, any ideas please??

You don't sound happy in the relationship so I'd think about leaving.

So you can ask him to put his dishes in the sink but get upset when he asks you the same a few days later and you resent being asked to close the window or get him a drink when going past the window or the kitchen anyway?
These sound like completely normal things and it doesn’t sound as though you like your partner very much if this bothers you.

@luxxlisbonas I afraid this would happen, I see where you are coming from of course.
No it’s more than that, it’s his attitude, the way he remembers the words I use. It stops me in my tracks.

OP,
He sounds like a twat and you have the Ick.

Does it matter what it's called? Either he's going out of his way to be a dick or you're putting the worst possible spin on his words and actions - either way, it's not great. You're clearly unhappy with each other, so either address that or leave.

Yeah it does seem weird that he'd deliberately remember the exact words you used and then say them back to you. That would mess with my head a bit. I'd think he was trying to make a point that I ask him to do things that I then don't do myself.

Or if he gets up late and I am drinking a cup of tea that I made whilst he is sleeping - he asks where is his? Did you have tea without me. I make you one. Yes but you were sleeping. It causes a bad atmosphere.
This I know Is petty, I am trying to untangle the unhappiness I feel. Is it him being a dick or is it me. Perhaps it is As @billy1966 put it.. I have the ick. I don’t want to though. The feelings are involuntary.

He sounds a bit lazy and childish. Have you spoken to him about it or do you not want to try and get him to change his behaviour? If you just have the ick then get out!

The Ick is involuntary OP, it can happen in an instant and IMO is connected to your gut, a warning system.

Your head is trying to overrule your gut but it can't.
Your gut is instinctive and trying to warn and protect you.

He's not the one for you despite perhaps on paper suiting you.

You can waste time limping along but eventually the issue and realisation that it isn't working and will overwhelm you.

You will remember these feelings as being the beginning and when you should have taken action.

He sounds like an awful tit.

In a way, it doesn't really matter.
What matters is you aren't happy with him.

@billy1966 I had not heard of the ick before and had to goggle. This is how I how feel. I’m doomed.
Thank you, your 2nd post especially is insightful.
So literally why after a long long time does this happen?

Your description makes him sound petty and somebody who tries to score points against you. Very unattractive traits.
Is there anything you like about him? Does it make up for his pettiness? Is there any reason for you to stay with him?

YANBU - I couldn’t be dealing with someone who will store up little interactions like that for cheap point scoring later.
I also think twisting situations when you’ve said you were hurt by his words into then making out that you said them sounds like gaslighting.