How do I move on from the guilt(birth trigger warning)

[MouseyTheVampireSlayer]

I had Pprom nearly 2 years ago and am living with the long lasting physical consequences of not getting inducted early enough. Baby is showing signs of cerebral palsy.
Are there any other mothers out there that made the wrong choice and learned to live with it? I didn't realise this could happen to me and it's devastated our family.

No bullying please. I'm very aware I should have been inducted sooner. I wasn't really aware in the same way at the time. Obviously I would make a different decision now, but I can't change the past.

I don't have experience of your particular situation, but I have a diagnosis of PTSD (and severe anxiety)following a traumatic birth and I will say that therapy has been life changing. I was in such a dark place I didn't imagine anything could help me and thought I'd feel that way forever. It hasn't gone away of course but I can live alongside it without it consuming me. I'd really recommend it to you, it's such a lot to carry alone

Just coming on to hand hold until someone else comes along with more experience but it sounds to me like you did what you thought best for your baby and there's no evidence your baby would've had a worse outcome if you'd done something different.
Please don't beat yourself up- your decision may well have saved your child's life- you'll never know.

Thanks champion, I've been in therapy for a while now and it has not worked for me. I'm looking into a new therapist so hopefully that will help x

Thanks for the handhold Katy x

It's not your fault OP. During pregnancy we are often bombarded with stuff about how your body knows what to do, natural birth is best, induction is bad, refuse interventions, wait it out, don't have a medicalised birth. I'm 35 weeks and I see it all the time in various ante natal groups. People encouraging each other to ignore the medical professionals involved in their care. Anyway you thought you were doing the right thing at the time with the information you had available - you couldn't have known it would end up this way. It's not your fault

I’ve not had your experience but speaking from the other side of the situation, I was a face presentation at birth which left me with a congenital hemiplegia (cerebral palsy) and a recent brain MRI showed that I had a stroke during delivery. Although it has impacted my life in various ways (I’m absolutely useless at sports and don’t really use my left hand) I never once held my mum responsible for what happened (it’s never entered my head to do so until this post). So although this hasn’t answered your question please don’t blame yourself, you did the best you could with the information you had at the time.

During pregnancy we are often bombarded with stuff about how your body knows what to do, natural birth is best, induction is bad, refuse interventions, wait it out, don't have a medicalised birth. I'm 35 weeks and I see it all the time in various ante natal groups. People encouraging each other to ignore the medical professionals involved in their care

I agree.

I’m so sorry for the way you are feeling OP, but I have no doubt you did what you felt was the right thing at the time, which is all any of us can do in any given situation.

I really hope your new therapist can help you to make peace with yourself