To delete relatives who do not acknowledge me on FB?

[LadyOfWaffle]

It feels good but maybe I am being unreasonable? In a nutshell DHs family don't really like me and on FB alot have not added me, but everyone else. What has done it this time is the fact I did a Relatives thingy on FB (I was bored!) and added all of them, and one has done it also and added everyone, incl. DHs ex but not me. They organise nights out without me despite me trying my best, even lending money, paying for DHs brother and wife and 2 kids to go to Coral Reef, stay over, take away etc. without so much as a thankyou. I know it sounds petty, but it's getting really upsetting so I have deleted some of them from my FB friends because I do not really want their night out plans flashing up on my homepage, and I just cannot be bothered with them anymore (the more extended ones, I have no choice with the others) So.. AIBU/petty? SHould I delete the whole damn lot of them?

(wrote than when MN went down, sooo glad I pressed copy when it all froze!)

I dont think that you should continue to waste your time, money, energy and your sanity trying to get people to like you when they dont want to. I know it hurts, i have this delemma with my family not liking my DH and excluding him from events. your loyalty should be with your family (you, dh and dc) they are the ones that love you.

Thanks, I felt petty but then I really do waste alot of energy trying to please them when they really are tosspots.

I'd delete them all if they're not being nice to you despite your efforts. Like BritTex says, spend your time and energies with people who you get on with.

In my experience with FaceBook I've ended up with an odd collection of people I've not seen for ages/ex-colleagues/ex-boyfriends/etc on there as my friends but not my best friends in real life. It seems to be more a list of people who happen to use Facebook (or have more free time at work!) rather than a list of your actual friends. So I wouldn't worry about deleting them!

tosspots that they are they probably like the attention that you give them??? I dont know, families can be very strange

I don't get the FB thing tbh..If it was family wouldn't they just call the other family members to arrange evenings out instead of posting crap on FB?

Don't waste your effort

I don't know what goes on with them to be honest, alot of them are best friends with DHs ex who really hates me and it has got worse since DH told her to leave us alone when she came back to UK last week. I just feel like crap because they were so nasty in the past and I tried really hard for DH and I feel like I just opened myself up to all this crap when I was nicely sheltered from it before. I think I'll just leave them to it, I was going to invite them all out around Christmas to try and be friendly, but since they organise nights out without me I think I will just cut my losses with them now.

Well, they are all on FB alot (that sort of age I guess?) so everything goes on on there.

LadyOfWaffle. Delete the lot. Forget them. On facebook and in real life. Dont waste time and money on them. They are not your friends. You see the thing is: You chose your friends, but you cannot chose your family. Stop caring about them, just leave them too it. You do come across as rather "needy".

Yep, I am. I am desperate for people to like me I guess because I have had alot of shit (inc. from that family) that has made me quite insecure. I will forget then, thanks

Message withdrawn

You should, for the sake of your sanity. You sound too nice.

I guess his family is still "in love" with his ex, and under her spell so to speak. Nothing you can do about it. Maybe they will all come running when they realize they cant take you for granted anymore.

Delete the lot of them; don't bother with them they arent worth your time and effort, esp if the ex is involved.

Thanks QS

Ugh, thats the thing about fb isn't it, I love it in some ways but hate it in others, I'm in an almost opposite situation.

I was 'found' on facebook by my ex's SIL, who I have always gotten on well with, she added me and then his other brother's GF added me too.

I found out that the other brothers GF has kicked him out for much the same reason that I ended relationship with EXDP. So we have been talking a lot, (we used to be close but I moved towns after the split) but now, his sister has noticed me on the friends list of SIL, and has taken to messaging myself and the brothers exgf with regards to arrangements for the kids. (she actually aided the 'kidnap' I suppose of the other girls son )

I hadn't had a phone call in nearly 4 months, but now it's all too easy and it bloody annoys me.
In your situation I'd delete them all. Thankfully no-one I don't want to has added me, so i don't have to refuse, but she has put pictures of my kids on her profile

I had to read that a few times VS! FB is a PITA sometimes, I posted a few weeks ago about another FB related issue! Some of them have pics of my DS aswell, but I feel I am just stirring if I ask them to remove them as it is really just him with them aswell. Also DHs ex slipped up and messaged him saying how much DS looked like him, so she was looking at my profile! I have made sure she is blocked now and my profile is abit more private, but I can't go round all the family taking pictures of DS away.

Ha, I know, it does go on. I don't want pictures of my kids all over someone elses profile, especially when I know it's not private.
I know it sounds silly but I just don't.
The brotehrs ex has said the same, as there are pics of her DS on there too.
I had to go through the palava of making certain people only be allowed to see a 'limited profile' as well which annoyed me, I have RL friends on facebook, and things I do in RL are talked about, as are events we are going to socially etc, I don't like the idea of them being able to see into my life iyswim.

They remind me of DH eldest son (who is in his 30s). He seems to like me as a person, but doesn't like the fact that his Dad got married again. He won't call my youngest DD his sister. He has lots of hang ups with our family.

I have him as a friend on FB, but rather than say that I am in his family, or in his extended family even, he has put that he knows me through DH name. I just laugh and feel sorry for the silly sod. It still hurts a bit though. He and his family live in NZ now so they don't really effect me so much anymore.

I hope that your deleting of these ignorant family members makes them sit up and take notice.