Colleague making comments

[Tyrasanchez30]

I posted not long ago about a young colleague who's said I'm posh a couple of times and things like "Oh I thought you'd be too posh to say something like that."

She hasn't said that since, but it's other things. I have quite a long first and last name and a dual nationality. She told me that my name sounds like some sort of weird recipe and joked "What was my Mum thinking."

I used to have a pixie haircut and I've been growing it for nearly a year, it's a short bob now. She looked at the picture and said "Well it hasn't grown much since last year has it!"

Then other times she's really nice, I don't get it. I find it hard to be assertive because her relative is the boss where we work, plus if it's just me and her working together I don't want to make things awkward. She's likely just immature. Any advice? Am I just being too sensitive?

Apart from the comment about your mum, I think you're being sensitive about all the incidents.

Including the posh ones? Maybe I am.

She's likely just immature

that.

Whenever someone is being a dick (and she is) there is usually an underlying reason. Your job, as a very emotionally-switched on person (which you clearly are) is to find out what it is. Is she threatened? Jealous? Not used to people like you? Has shit going on in her life? Or just a dick (which is possible). Doesn't matter - you take the upper hand, bestow upon them the power of your empathy and then skip away. Life's too short. It's never really about you and we don't know anyone's story.

also.. my dad always told me the way to really beat a person being awful to you is to kill them with kindness. No matter what she says, reply with kindness. You will feel good and who cares what they feel?

I don't think she's jealous, well I don't want her to be. She described me as "lovely and good at my job" to someone else too which is confusing.

Maybe just immature and doesn't really think before she says things, but I need to make sure I don't take her to heart.

I think it quickly gets annoying when someone keeps commenting on your accent.

Your name being criticised? That sounds like racism, whatever the intent, assuming your name reflects your dual heritage.

Agree with killing with kindness. There is a lady who used to make the biggest deal every time she saw me when I was pregnant about how huge I was, and how unbelievably big I had gotten. It made me feel so self conscious. She’s now pregnant, and every time I see her I say how amazing she’s looking, how well pregnancy suits her, and smile. Rise above, it feels fantastic.

You say she's young, is this her first 'proper' job?

I'm wondering if she's nervous and trying to be matey and 'banter' (urrgh..) like she did with mates at college, to make friends, and hasn't really twigged that isn't how you behave in a professional environment?

The name thing I think crossed a line, definitely, and I think perhaps just responding with 'that's a bit rude, isn't it?' in a level tone and with eye contact will either let her know she's pushing your boundaries and it's not on, and she'll behave more professionally or she'll double down and you'll know she's just a dick.