To work more hours (mum guilt)

[cadburyegg]

I’ve worked part time 22.5 hours a week since finishing maternity leave with DS1. He’s 6 now and DS2 is 3 and now qualifies for the funded hours so for the first time in years I am not paying any childcare. He does 3 days in preschool currently 9-3 and DS1 obvs in FT school. My mum also helps with school pick ups.

I became a single parent 6 months ago after the marriage between H and I broke down. I’ve got the option from September to put DS2 in preschool for an extra day and to work a few more hours. Atm I don’t earn a bad wage but because it’s part time I get a bit of a top up from UC. I enjoy my job, wfh and have a great boss with lots of flexibility.

Financially I’ll be a bit better off but it won’t make that much difference. I’m not considering it for the extra money each month, it’s cos I’m conscious of my pension etc, being a single parent, and obviously I’m aware that I won’t get UC or CM once my children are grown. So it’s about playing the long game rather than immediate benefits.

BUT I guess I just feel guilty because DS2 will be 3.5 and when DS1 was that age he was only doing 2 days in childcare and DS2 will be doing 4. I guess I don’t want them to be treated differently. He does like preschool although finds it tiring. I feel like I should “make the most” of them being young like everyone tells me to do but after 6+ years now of having either a baby or toddler in the house, it’s pretty exhausting! WWYD?

I have a similar decision to make for September and am currently leaning towards upping my hours since I don't know if I'll get the opportunity again for a while.

I thik that sadly your circumstances have changed since your eldest was three. They are never going to have exactly the same though, your eldest had three years undivided attention before the youngest arrived.

There is nothing to feel guilty about in doing the best for your children, yes there are compromises to be made but I think you are right to think about the longer term.

YANBU. You are wise to think about the future and your pension.

I've been full time since my son was 10 months and it's been totally fine. Hard at first but you get used to it. It's great that your mum can help out too.

You could always give it a go for 6-12 months and then, if it's not working,have a rethink.