To consider raising this? Smoking in car

[Napssszzz]

So yesterday I pulled up to nursery ten minutes early. Waited in the car. Car pulls up next to me and in the passenger seat there is a woman smoking a cigarette. Her window is about two inches open. All other windows appear shut. Man gets out, goes in to collect child, so about two minutes after she's finished smoking, without even any airing of the vehicle (yes I know, particles on car seat etc), child is put in the back. They appear to be the child's grandparents.

Do I take it as a one off as I've not seen it before (despite the fact they appeared perfectly comfortable with what they were doing), and leave it alone? Or do I raise it with nursery? Or something else?

My intention would be to protect the child, not vilify anyone for choosing to smoke, nor do I get kicks out of dobbing people in I'm hardly perfect myself...

Aibu to consider doing something about it?

If i smelt tobacco or weed on a kid I would say something to the parents, if I worked in a nursery

@Macncheeseballs

If i smelt tobacco or weed on a kid I would say something to the parents, if I worked in a nursery

Ah, what would you say exactly?

As already explained, this law only applies if the child is in the vehicle at the time of the cigarette being smoked. So your report to the nursery would be pointless.

I dislike smoking and my mother is a very heavy smoker, which makes visiting her very difficult and upsetting now. I have to do it every few weeks though as my Dad died earlier this year and she herself is in declining health and mobility. And now lonely as she is on her own except for her carers.

There is nothing you can do, so keep out. No law was broken.

I work in a nursery and my husband is a police officer. Nothing will get done about this by anyone I’m afraid.

@Macncheeseballs

If i smelt tobacco or weed on a kid I would say something to the parents, if I worked in a nursery

What would you say? Tobacco at least is not illegal, nor is smoking in their own home.

A child coming into nursery stinking of smoke is so so normal it would not be noted anywhere unless there were other safeguarding concerns .

Believe me, stinking of smoke is not a concern on its own, it’s very common, sadly.

Mind your own bloody business

I think I disagree with the most responses. If I was the kids parent I would want to know that the person picking my child up is putting them in a car full of smoke. So I'd like you to tell the nursery to tell me.

@Macncheeseballs

If i smelt tobacco or weed on a kid I would say something to the parents, if I worked in a nursery

And what would you hope to achieve by commenting on them smelling of cigarettes?

Smoking is not illegal - it's none of your business if a parent smokes around their child (or indeed, if they smoke at all).

@AnUnoriginalUsername

I think I disagree with the most responses. If I was the kids parent I would want to know that the person picking my child up is putting them in a car full of smoke. So I'd like you to tell the nursery to tell me.

I assume the parents are well aware that grandma smokes.

@AnUnoriginalUsername

I think I disagree with the most responses. If I was the kids parent I would want to know that the person picking my child up is putting them in a car full of smoke. So I'd like you to tell the nursery to tell me.

Nursery are not there to tell tales on grandparents

Best solution to this is to make tobacco on all forms illegal.

I'd rather see private cars made illegal, if we're daydreaming about sweeping moves to protect public health.

As already mentioned, nothing would get done and it's not illegal. It's grim (and I say this as a smoker who never smokes around my children, just in the evening) but it's not illegal.

My ex MIL used to smoke in the car moments before my very asthmatic DSS used to get in. Drove me absolutely potty because he'd always feel unwell after getting in on the rare occasion she picked him up but she never stopped. We went NC with her for a number of reasons last year, but she would always prioritise smoking above the welfare of her grandkids (and kids, she smoked in the house throughout my DH childhood, even with asthmatic children - his sister - in the house)

A school mum let me cross the road the other week and I noticed she had a fag in one hand as I crossed, kids were definitely in the car and one was in the passenger seat. So disgusting and definitely illegal. I think the law only applies if children are in the car at the time.

IIRC when this law was published it was also said it could only be fined if the driver was pulled over for something else at the same time? So, smoking whilst a kid in the car, no fine. Pulled over for a faulty light, also smoking in the car with child present, they could theoretically be also charged for the smoking.

You need to butt out, though, I'm sure the parent will already know the child is around smoking/smokers. If its a regular thing, the nursery will be aware also.

I hate smoking. I grew up in a houseful of smokers (lived with mum, dad, 2 grandparents and assorted aunts and uncles coming and going, all of whom smoked non stop) and it put me off for life. It's disgusting.

Even I think you are being OTT here OP. They smoked in a car with the window open and stopped before the child arrived. It's really not a very big deal.

There is nothing anyone can do about this. Not the police, not nursery ,not SS.

No matter how much it upsets or disgusts you, it is not illegal or classed as neglectful or abusive(in law or SS guidelines).

At most , the nursery could have a chat about second hand smoking but that's it.

It’s not nice for the child but unfortunately I don’t think the nursery would be able to do much about it even if you raised it. I am a SEN teacher and I have a student in my class with very complex respiratory health needs who always smells of cigarette smoke as do all of his belongings including his wheelchair, his emergency oxygen canister, his clothing etc. It’s awful and his social worker is aware but there is nothing they can do about it as whilst it’s unwise for parents to smoke around children it isn’t illegal in most situations. It is actually illegal to smoke with a child in the car but there are no rules about smoking in a vehicle used by children when they’re not present, even immediately before they get in, so I don’t think anything could be done unfortunately.

Talk to them, make it out that you are doing them a favour, as someone else might just report them to the police or social services. That might at least mean they put their cigarettes out before the child gets in the car.

a long time before I meant.

@newnortherner111

Talk to them, make it out that you are doing them a favour, as someone else might just report them to the police or social services. That might at least mean they put their cigarettes out before the child gets in the car.

Report them for what?

Talk to them, make it out that you are doing them a favour, as someone else might just report them to the police or social services.

I would laugh at someone who suggested I could be reported to SS or the police when I wasn't breaking any rules/laws.

That might at least mean they put their cigarettes out before the child gets in the car.

They did finish the cigarette before the child got in the car!

I am a TA and we have 4 and 5 year olds who come in stinking so strongly of tobacco smoke that it permeates their hair, clothes, bags and books. Thankfully, I got covid and haven't been able to smell them for 7 months!

It's grim, but I don't think you can do anything about it.
I'm a former smoker, but never smoked in the house or car, or in front of any children. Other people should not have to inhale someone else's smoke.