To hate dinner time conversation?

[Tiredforfive45]

I absolutely hate that my DH wants to chatter away during our evening meal.

I know, I know. This is what dinner tables are for! But I hate it.

I like quiet, especially after working all day with no quiet or time alone and then sorting out my own 3 little ones.

Once the kids are in bed and I finally sit down to eat I want to just have some quiet headspace. I want to enjoy my food, maybe watch TV, maybe mess on my phone. I do not want to listen to DH witter on about people I don’t know doing things I don’t care about, as he talks about his day. I also cannot be bothered recounting everything that happened in mine as I just cannot fathom how he could be interested!

Anybody else feel like this? I know it is a normal social convention but I hate it. I’m prepared to be flamed and told I should enjoy and appreciate the time with my DH!
I do love him and talk to him. I just don’t want to do it while I eat!

I totally agree. I cannot be arsed with dinner time conversation. I like to eat my tea in peace and quiet!

Agree completely. My DH always asks me questions when I have just taken a bite of my tea then either repeats it like I haven't heard the first time or says 'hmm?' to prompt me to reply.
It is very, very annoying. I just want to sit in peace and eat my tea, and just have half an hour of silence.
I think it is tiredness though, after a day at work/with the kids then doing tea, bathtime and getting them in bed I am all peopled out and I just need some quiet time!

So interesting to hear another perspective. I am your DH in this scenario. I try to show an interest in his day, and it feels like pulling teeth

Could you eat as a family, with DH and children , then slump in front of tv later?

@Tiredforfive45 yes I agree with you I don't like loads of conversation during dinner either, I like to be able to relax, destress and breathe! What time do you eat dinner btw as it sounds awfully late if the kids are already in bed?

We often do eat with the kids and that’s fine because I’m still in mum mode and chatting with them, helping them eat etc.

I don’t know why it’s so different when it’s just DH and I. I think because I think that should be time I’m allowed to switch off.

If we eat alone it’s usually around 8ish, so not too late. Whether we do or not just depends on when we get home, kids clubs, what we’re eating etc.

I like dinner time conversation but we always talk about weird random things. Today it was the genetics of ear lobes

DH and I have cocktail hour before we eat, it’s the time we chat and talk about our days, make plans, or discuss random things. Then dinner, sometimes we eat together, other times we just grab something and go to our respective corners. Then after dinner is alone time.

It works for us.

It would do your marriage and your mental health to find time to do something to unwind after work.
10 min walk, pilates, yoga, workout, meditate in the dark.. whatever floats your boat. I've found it transformational. That and putting your phone away and not checking it aimlessly all evening

I love talking at the dinner table! It’s just me and the kids, and we eat together, but I can’t fathom eating in silence.

My family always talk at the table - so does everyone else I’ve ever eaten with!

We tend to ring each other during the day and chat. Then at least at night we can switch off and watch Netflix etc.

I agree OP, I just cannot be fagged with dinner time chit chat. We watch telly.

There’s so much smuggery around dinner time - the idea that it’s better to be sitting round a table and making conversation. Like it’s a 1930s literary salon, rather than a bunch of people wittering about their boring day when they’d all rather be on the sofa, watching telly in comfort.