Perhaps that's putting it a bit bluntly but does anyone else feel quite awkward when someone does things you didn't ask for and then makes you feel like you owe them one?!
DP and I are getting married in the next few weeks. Wedding has gone through quite a few changes since we had to postpone from last year and our venue folded.
After the faff and uncertainty we're looking to keep things fairly simple because the main thing is that the people are there, and they have enough to eat, drink and entertain them. Very happy to sort that ourselves - we've got some experience in that kind of thing from our work.
A close family member says it sounds like a lot of work (it's really not) and they're worried we won't be able to do it on our own and will need their help, which will be stressful. We reassure them we will be fine. Roll on a while and they're upset we're not including them in the planning. We say we're fine and don't want to stress them out. They say they want to do something.
We give them a self-contained task (call a company and ask a question). They complete that and we say we're very grateful and that's all we need. We now find they have bought various items and arranged other things they will have to do before the day and now are stressed.
We say there's no need to feel stressed - leave it with us - we just want to keep things simple. They and another family member say we're being ungrateful for what they've done. Argh! You can't win. I don't want to be impolite but equally I don't feel like rewarding that kind of behaviour. I really would have preferred to deal with those parts myself so this actually leaves us in a worse position that we are meant to be grateful for...