to stop trying to eat?

[starvingartiste]

Namechanged. Title is facetious as I don't intend to stop eating altogether.

I am underweight due to a number of factors. These include hormonal issues (endometriosis and menstrual cycle wreak havoc on my appetite, during period and ovulation i feel extremely nauseous and my calorie intake drops massively because i just need to sleep off the cramps). I also have IBS which restricts what I can eat, how often I eat, etc. If I gain a couple of pounds on a good day I'll instantly drop it again the next day from lack of appetite or symptoms.

I am not skin and bones, but I weigh 42kg at 5'4". I have enough energy to get through the day, granted I am fairly sedentary because I deal with chronic fatigue.

Most days I eat breakfast/brunch which is toast and a cup of tea. I then snack on nuts. This keeps me going until dinner, which is things like pasta with chicken and tomato, or a stir fry (veggies and meat), a small roast, or fish and salad. My appetite perks up a bit before bed so I snack on some more toast. In between I have a couple of cups of tea and some dark chocolate. I can't eat fruit due to the IBS and certain veggies are off limits. Eggs make me sick, as does red meat. I can only have milk in tea, not in large amounts.

Before anyone flames me or jumps to conclusions - I do not have an eating disorder. I had one in my youth (now early thirties). I don't want to be skinnier or restrict food. But every time I attempt to add things to my diet, new foods or amount of calories or extra meals, I suffer. If I eat lunch I feel sick and won't be hungry for dinner. Today I tried to eat a chicken salad for lunch - I have low blood pressure that is sometimes affected by eating, and had a massive drop - feeling dizzy, spaced out and shaky. I've spoken to the GP about this sort of thing and she just told me I'm not used to eating extra so my body is just freaking out and to persevere. I don't really want to persevere. I feel like there's no point in adding calories for weight and energy if it makes me feel awful.

The caveat here is I am trying to conceive, and I know my weight is too low for this, or it could be dangerous for the baby. I worry about becoming pregnant and having morning sickness which means I would eat even less (i.e. nothing). I can't really afford to lose more weight. I also worry about needing to eat more when pregnant, but feeling physically terrible when I do so.

This is not a competitive undereating thread, by the way. But there is an element of trauma in how I have to eat, which I'll happily admit to. If you have issues eating stuff for a while, you become scared of trying. FWIW doctors haven't been much help, they just recommend high calorie foods or protein shakes, which also flare up my symptoms.

So, am I unreasonable to just stick to what 'works'? (not necessarily in regard to pregnancy, but I don't really have a solution for that yet).

I don’t eat. Not really

My last meal was.. crap.. over a week ago

I tend to snack more than eat meals but I do have calorie dense high meal replacement drinks prescribed to me by the doctor as I have ARFID so food is a big problem for me

I was going to suggest those calorie drinks.

Do all the shakes flair up the symptoms? There are quite a few different one for various diets so maybe looking into new one might be worth it.
You have pea protein, whey protein, collagen protein... Some are fully vegan and some are gluten free too so even less chance to give a reaction.

It must be so hard. Do you take good multivitamins?

Oh and if you can try, some good bone broth, low sodium. Really good nutritionally AND reportedly is very good for IBS

@SchrodingersImmigrant do you make your own bone broth or can you recommend one?

I don’t get any symptoms from taking the shakes. It’s just like a drink that has a lot of calories in to help keep my weight up.

I currently have fresubin but was on fortisip. Both strawberry flavour

I don’t take any multivitamins but I do take iron. Again prescribed

I sympathise; I find just the smell of those drinks like Fortisip makes me feel ill. I have a lot of issues around eating, following some intense and unpleasant treatment. My mouth is so sensitive that many foods cause pain; anything even slightly spicy is off limits, chocolate actually burns my mouth, wine is like paint stripper, and bananas cause a intense reaction too. Swallowing is an issue and I have depleted saliva. Going out for a meal is arduous as I struggle to find suitable food and eat very slowly.
I can eat dairy, which is good as cheese, cream etc are quite soothing and are probably the main reason I maintain a decent weight. I would say eat what you can, when you can!

[quote wowhie]@SchrodingersImmigrant do you make your own bone broth or can you recommend one? [/quote]
I make my own. It's actually surprisingly simple.
Times in recipes vary from 6-24 hours. I do 20.
I don't have an exact recipe because I use veg scraps and random mix of chicken/lamb/beef bones and parts, so it's different every time.
You can buy organic ones in shops and ocado etc.

It can either be eaten as a soup with stuff in it or in some places people sip it from a cup. Like you would a tea. I do that for hangover....

@SchrodingersImmigrant thank you

I've had disordered eating all my life.
The key is to find the food that makes you feel ok like toast then increase the amount of it eg have toast for lunch too.

Also your blood sugar probably dropped after the chicken salad because you didn't eat carbs. So you could add in some bread, potatoes, crisps or whatever for carbs.

Thank you for the supportive replies. I do take a multivitamin, and I haven't quite exhausted the shakes available yet - it's just tiring trying to figure out what might work! The broth is a good idea too.

@Tehmina23 i wondered if it might be because i was missing carbs! i usually eat them with each meal so that makes sense. i will try adding some more bread in there, or a bagel or something. i think it's so difficult with 'healthy' eating messages these days, because you worry that's the wrong thing to do, and having a carbless salad seems the better choice. but say, my mum is a type 2 diabetic and she needs to eat carbs with everything or she gets a hypo.

The shakes are a good idea.
Could you add some high calorie foods to what you’re eating like cheese on your salad or cream in your tea instead of milk. So you’re not eating large amounts of food but what you are eating is higher in calories.

Is this an average day or so you usually eat less?
You seem to eat similar/more than me and I am overweight so I would go to the doctor and see if you have any issues with your thyroid which is why you’re underweight.

Best healthy is a balance which makes your body feel good.

I wonder if someone like myprotein website can do samples so you don't need to buy full protein packs to try. Might be work emailing tbh

@starvingartiste I take lots of meds & find that I need to have complex carbs with my meals or I start to feel quite lightheaded.

So called 'bad' carbs are the white bread, cakes etc but complex carbs such as wholemeal bread, brown rice, basmati rice, new potatoes, wholemeal pasta are healthy so I try to stick with them.

I'm 5' 4 and I was really pretty thin even when I weighed 50kg. I am quite naturally dense, but I think it is worth persevering. I have IBS and my periods do my in terribly. My current answer to that is the contraceptive pill for several months at a time - obviously it wouldn't work when TTC but it might enable you to get your weight up before hand? My IBS is better on it too.

I lost 25% of my bodyweight in 8 weeks initially with IBS. Little things I did included e.g. butter as well as jam on toast (or ideally crumpets which love being smothered in butter), sugar in tea etc. Small boosts to what I could eat. In terms of getting my IBS under control I did a bastardised version of the FODMAP diet where I cut a few things out at a time til I had pinpointed exactly what I could and couldn't have. This has opened up more foods for me than before as I now know exactly what to avoid.

My brother went in for Huel when he has been having trouble with calories in the past: would that work for you?

I think the shakes are only going to be a temporary solution.
Have you seen a nutritionist or dietitian?
This book is great. Might help? www.amazon.co.uk/Digestive-Health-Real-Aglaee-Jacob/dp/0988717204/ref=nodl_

I am not skin and bones, but I weigh 42kg at 5'4". I have enough energy to get through the day, granted I am fairly sedentary because I deal with chronic fatigue.

It sounds you you need some support. Your BMI is 15.8. You are at least 7kg (over a stone) under the very bottom of the healthy range for your height.

Given your history of disordered eating, I would go back to your GP as soon as you can and really push for support with your diet. There are red flags here. I worry about posters validating the way you’re eating now.

Yes I agree. It is concerning OP. Your weight is very low.

I appreciate the concern over my weight, but the doctors have never paid much interest (which is funny because I guess they'd be all over it if I was overweight!) if anything I've had healthcare providers say it's one less thing to worry about (i.e. 'well, you're slim so it probably isn't x problem). I think this is silly obviously. No one has ever flagged my weight at my pre-surgery preps for endo.

I wrote my height wrong! I'm 5'2". I know this doesn't make much difference but just to be clear. For my surgeries I have been about 43-44kg. Only recently I went under, this was because I came off the pill and got my period back which made me feel ill for two weeks out of the month.

Thank you everyone for the tips. I am going to keep trying to up my carbs at the very least.

I also meant to say, I am willing to bug the GP again but it's a nightmare with Covid, I actually tried to get help a few months ago but as I said they were sort of dismissive of the issue and acting like I was wasting their time over nothing. I would like to seek a dietician privately but I don't think money would stretch.

@toocold54 i usually eat what i stated every day, except for the chicken salad. on my period or ovulation some days i will eat less but i really try to eat. that's not every day of the period either, just high pain/sickness days (so maybe 3 out of 8)

If you really are 42kg at 5'2" that's not so underweight. Could be considered healthy weight on its own.. but you have indicated it is causing you problems with fertility so makes sense to add a few more kilos and see how that goes.

I would worry less about adding new foods and why not just slowly increase the portions of what you're eating now or increase the frequency you eat. Just eat the same foods you know you like/can tolerate and just eat them more frequently or larger amounts when you do.

You need to be firm with some doctors I find! I have seen an NHS Dietitian as I put on lots of weight with my tablets in the past, I was also binge eating.
She was really helpful & did some CBT around eating as well as helping me work out a healthy diet.
They can also help you gain weight obviously.

Just say my BMI is too low & im struggling to gain weight, I request that you refer me to a Dietitian please.
Beware the referral may take a while but sometimes they get the practice nurses to see you as well I think.

OP, we have lots of things in common. Endometriosis, ME, previous eating disorder.

When I was younger I couldn’t eat without severe pain and diarrhoea within 20 mins. My bowels were all stuck together. Once those were freed it improved a lot but I couldn’t manage much food and I couldn’t put much weight on. Then I had surgery then went on depo and gained 3 stone.

Then I had a course of zoladex where the weight just fell off me. Didn’t eat any less, didn’t exercise more. I just shrank.

Ever since I came off it I can’t lose weight. Since pregnancy I can’t shift weight at all. I eat one meal a day, and I’m still well into overweight BMI.

For me I strongly believe that my hormones play the biggest role in what my weight is. It’s very frustrating but I’ve accepted it. The only time I’ve lost weight in the last four years is when I had norovirus and consumed nothing for five days. Then I didn’t even lose much.

So my thoughts would be - do you need further endo surgery? Are your hormone levels okay? Is your thyroid okay? If you’re honest how much is your disordered eating (which never goes away) affecting this?