To want to cuddle my newborn

[workingmummyof2soontobe3]

My baby is 5 weeks old, he’s my third baby and likes to be held. Constantly. My other two would let me put them down while I was making tea, doing housework etc but I’m attached to my baby all day everyday. My husband is doing everything around the house but I’m normally the one doing all the housework so it’s a bit of a challenge for me to sit back and watch. I am secretly enjoying lazing around with my newborn on my chest though. I do however keep getting a lot of comments about how I’m creating a clingy baby and making a rod for my own back. The alternative is to listen to him cry all day which I’m not prepared to do but I do worry he will never let me put him down ever again (irrational I know)

So please tell me how you spent the first few months with your newborns and when you was able to get on with off jobs again and do you miss those early days of cuddles?

Yep ditto for my DC3. Just a total gorgeous cuddle baby who wanted to be held lots for the first 2-3 months then he wanted lots of face to face eye contact and chat (gurgles) for the next month. Now at 4 months he's happy to go in the bouncer and on the baby gym. He also struggled with wind more and that made him want the cuddles more I think.

Ohhh how I miss those early days when my baby just wanted to be held, and I got to lie on the sofa as I snuggled her! Enjoy it, it didn’t last long for us, and now she’s crawling I look back at that time with longing!

You can't cuddle a baby too much, as everyone has been saying.

But, you said your husband is doing everything around the house while you cuddle with the baby. Why don't you let him spend some time with the baby while you do some chores? That should feel fairer to everyone, your baby is still getting all the cuddles he needs, and he and your husband are bonding too.

I remember reading somewhere (perhaps WHO guidance) that you can't spoil a baby and in fact giving loads of cuddles does the opposite of creating a clingy baby - it creates a confident baby. Reasoning being is that they grow up feeling loved and secure. And feeling secure means they won't be clingy but instead will be self assured.

Anecdotally, my child as a newborn was attached to me constantly (couldn't even put her down to nap). And now she is THE most confident and brave toddler.

Definitely a sling and the fourth trimester is very real.

I was the same as you, my third baby (she's 19 months now) was very clingy and would only nap on me in the sling or being held, and would only sleep at night if she co-slept next to me.

I decided to just enjoy it, she's my last baby and I wanted to make the most of it. I knew this phase was over so quickly and my older children were never those kind of cuddly babies.

It felt like it went on forever but in reality by 6-7 months she was sleeping and napping in her own room. I didn't create a rod for my own back or anything, I just got to enjoy a very fleeting time in her and my life where we were together snuggled up a lot of the time.

Enjoy it while you can, you don't get those days back really.

Enjoy your cuddles but I am not sure its safe to doze at all with baby on you - have a look at the recommendations to make your decision about what is safe.

Ignore them and enjoy the cuddles!

You can't spoil a baby

Had exactly the same with my youngest and I don't regret the time I spent cuddling for a single second. Infact I wish I had slowed down and taken more time to just sit and cuddle with my older DC as well.

My third baby was like this too, just wanted cuddles all day. I was worried he'd be clingy or that he was being spoiled with cuddles (he was born in lockdown so his two sisters was also always giving him cuddles).
He's just turned one and while he still loves a cuddle, especially if he's tired, he's not clingy. He's just started crawling so is off exploring (and laughing when we have to chase after him), he now loves nursery and is generally happy playing by himself or with anyone who wants to interact.
I'd say enjoy the cuddles and ignore anyone who says he'll end up spoiled.

I had a baby who would not be put down they would however sleep in a sling on me so I could carry on with day to day things which was great

I was always told I would cause myself problems by not putting her down and I don't give a shit! She's 4 now and she's the most loving kid I wouldn't have her any other way

Who is commenting?

You can't spoil a tiny baby. Sit back and enjoy them !

@Anonymous48 coincidentally we have done just that tonight. He works through the day and we tag team in the evenings so I’m more just talking about in the day time while he’s at work and my older two are at school I feel like I should be being productive and doing all the jobs I used to do but then think well he won’t be small forever

@LongLiveGoblingKing

I have a clingy 4 week old. Can I ask how you are getting sleep at night? Mine only wants to sleep on me and cries when he's in the next-to-me crib.

I really hope you have him in with you, when you can (ie not ill, not been drinking, etc). If you look at e.g. rainforest tribes, they have their babies in the hammocks with them. Happy babies :)

Get a sling! Easy peasy and your hands are free.

[quote workingmummyof2soontobe3]@Anonymous48 coincidentally we have done just that tonight. He works through the day and we tag team in the evenings so I’m more just talking about in the day time while he’s at work and my older two are at school I feel like I should be being productive and doing all the jobs I used to do but then think well he won’t be small forever[/quote]
Thanks for clarifying. I was picturing you cuddling with the baby on the couch all day watching your husband rush around doing all the household chores. You're absolutely right - this stage won't last long and you should make the most of it while you can. So what if the house is a little messy? As long as your husband is getting plenty of cuddle time with the baby too (and if you can do a few chores while he is) then it sounds perfect to me!

They grow up to quick so make the most of it

I did however find I got a wrap /sling thing so I could still have baby on me, breast feed AND get my housework done. Was great 👌🏼

All your creating is a baby who knows he will be comforted when he needs it. Nothing wrong with that

Cuddle that baby and enjoy!!

My first was like that. She’s 7 now and still loves snuggles but is also very independent and outgoing. Go with the flow

I'm sure I read somewhere (but not sure how true it is) that a baby who has their needs met promptly, including cuddling will grow up more confident and happy than one who doesn't.

If you're happy cuddling then keep cuddling! I love baby cuddles but for me it was important for baby to accept being put down to sleep so I could sleep. If you are coping sleep wise then carry on!

My almost 5 month old is the same during the day and I'm just letting him do his thing, though at night touch wood he's doing well

As so many people have already said, you can't spoil a baby with cuddles. So much depends on individual temperament as well.
DS1 never wanted much cuddling, quite content as long as he could see/hear me.
DS2 absolute velcro baby until almost 3, couldn't even stand to be in the pushchair and still loves a snuggle.
DS3 somewhere in between!
As far as slings go Ergo all the way, struggled with several that were really quite uncomfortable to start with.