AIBU to be annoyed about child on school run

[LegoVsFoot]

My two youngest DCs go to the local nursery and we often walk with another mum and child on the school run.

We normally chat and get on but her child can be a bit bossy/rude and she never says anything. Stuff that I would always give a warning about - teasing with toys/snacks, shouting, saying 'you're not my friend' etc. Even to the point the nursery workers heard and said 'that's not nice'.

AIBU to say something next time? I tend not to say anything to other peoples' children but mine are well behaved (and if not I tell them off!) and I don't want them to think it's ok, especially when the mum doesn't say anything.

@Scaredycatmoo don't want to be too specific in details due to outing

[quote Youdoyoutoday]@LegoVsFoot how old are your kids and the other one?[/quote]
@WildWestWanda

The op started the thread and I posted
Hence remembering her name
I’m not on mumsnet so frequently that they all blur in to one

I would. Takes a village to raise a child and all that.

If more people told off other people’s children we wouldn’t have so many snowflakes 🤷‍♀️

Maybe the 'little shit' has autism, ever thought of that @Youdoyoutoday ???

Someone, anyone, mean to my children
I pick them up on it

However I adapt my approach accordingly

A child being mean “ok, enough silliness, let’s make this a nice walk”. If it continues then “I think we’re going to have to start walking on our own if there’s name calling etc”.

And adult? Well, very different!

@lollipoprainbow

Maybe the 'little shit' has autism, ever thought of that *@Youdoyoutoday* ???

Wouldn’t stop them being a little shit 🤷‍♀️

@JellyTumble lovely

I never understand why people feel the need to call children names.

My teen asked me if he was a little shit. Told him no he's too big. He now tells the cats to watch out cos the big little shit is coming
I forget sometimes he takes things too literal sometimes.

Much prefer little shit to an ex neighbours frequent you little bastard/cunt.

Either tell the kid yourself its nice or get yours to do it themselves. If you don't stop doing that I'm not going to be your friend, that's not nice, you shouldn't do that or whatever

When the other kid comes out with don't want to be your mate over mindless toddler crap ignore. If it's serious. Ok bye.

Depends on the type of parent. Some when they hear it from an adult they get really offended.

I personally wouldn’t bother OP. DD is in reception and regularly comes home with tales of a boy teasing her. A few weeks ago she was trying to pay tig with him and he ran away to his Dad (who was stood near to me) and yelled “I don’t like her, she’s stinky!”, the dad said absolutely nothing. A couple days later the boys grandma brought him to school and he spent 5 minutes kicking her, carrying on despite her slight attempts to get him to stop. Parents obviously think the sun shines out of his backside.

@Lotsolove

is it ever ok to refer to a child as a 'little shit'?

Yes. Any other questions you need help with?

LOOOOL 😂😂 love this

@bitheby

'Little shits' don't fall far from the tree. If a child that young is behaving badly with no obvious boundaries being set then it's not really the child's fault.

Exactly, if the child is speaking to other children like this infront of the parent the parent should be telling their own child that it is not very nice. If she is not telling her own child that this behaviour is wrong and not nice then the child clearly thinks that it is okay to say and do things like this if they have not been taught or told off when things have been said. You are right it is not the child’s fault. Luckily both my children (5 & 4)are both very well behaved expecially not in public and they know what is not nice and what is nice as I am always trying to reach them about being kind to others, obviously all little kids will have moments but it is about the parent setting boundaries with their own child.

[quote LegoVsFoot]@Scaredycatmoo don't want to be too specific in details due to outing[/quote]
Sorry but how the fuck is walking to nursery with someone ‘outing.’ It’s about as common a thing to do as cycling.

I used to say a generic 'be nice kids'. If they carried on I'd just change my leaving time/route. I mean how much can you like the other mum if her child is obnoxious and she says nothing?

@lollipoprainbow

Maybe the 'little shit' has autism, ever thought of that *@Youdoyoutoday* ???

Well, that would be different. Everyone knows that children with autism can say and do exactly as they like and should never face any consequences. It’s a great way to get them ready for adult life.

I think the automatic assumption that autism is at the root of any poor behaviour is bloody awful, actually? What's that about, lollipop?

My son can be rude and bossy. It is nothing whatsoever to do with my parenting he has not inherited this from me. He gets pulled up on all occasions but does not make him a "little shit". He isn't like that all time just sometimes. I would be less than impressed if anyone called him that.
Sometimes childrens behaviour is a bit shit but it doesn't mean that they are shits.
I work with some children whose parents think they are little angels but the fact is that they sometimes are not.Try telling the parent that though! Give me a parent who has a realistic view of their child and I can work with that, calling them names is never okay.

Don't walk with her then!
Or say something when they do join you.

@lollipoprainbow

Maybe the 'little shit' has autism, ever thought of that *@Youdoyoutoday* ???

Technically made yourself look worse for assuming that all autistic kids behave badly!! Tut tut!!

But also, why should I assume that? It's not been mentioned and to assume things makes an ass out of you and me, but more you in this case I believe.

@Moelwynbach sorry to say your kid has probably been called that, as have every kid on the face of this earth, mine included, because some people only see a snippet of them.

My son has once thrown an almighty tantrum and people would have called him a little shit too but those people don't see how kind, caring and funny he is normally! That really is how life goes, it's really nothing for people to get so snowflakey about!

@itsmellslikepopcarn

I personally wouldn’t bother OP. DD is in reception and regularly comes home with tales of a boy teasing her. A few weeks ago she was trying to pay tig with him and he ran away to his Dad (who was stood near to me) and yelled “I don’t like her, she’s stinky!”, the dad said absolutely nothing. A couple days later the boys grandma brought him to school and he spent 5 minutes kicking her, carrying on despite her slight attempts to get him to stop. Parents obviously think the sun shines out of his backside.

The difference is in your scenario - you’re not there

In OP’s she’s actually present.

So from her children’s perspective it looks like… mummy’s ok with me being bullied

[quote LegoVsFoot]@Scaredycatmoo don't want to be too specific in details due to outing[/quote]
It never fails to amaze me what people say might be outing

Walking home with another mum is not outing.

@bitheby

'Little shits' don't fall far from the tree. If a child that young is behaving badly with no obvious boundaries being set then it's not really the child's fault.

Absolutely agree.

DS2 had a "friend" like this - also used to walk to and from school with him. His Mum couldn't care less, thought he was so amazing he should be free to do or say whatever he liked, in fact she used to find it cute and endearing ! Strangely enough we couldn't do the school walk any more as something came up...

I’d probably just avoid walking with her in future.