What the hell do I do about this bullying?

[Notagoodtime]

Ds is 14 and goes to an all boys grammar school. He is a sweet and sensitive lad and doesn’t understand why people would want to fight. He admitted to me on Friday that a group of lads decided to rough him up after school. He went to the toilet afterwards and admitted he sobbed and sobbed. He has gone to school today and the same lad ( who used to be his friend) started pushing him around and threw a punch at his face. My son reacted and punched him back. The boys friends joined in and then they pushed him to the school and kicked him. I’m pleased he can tell me but he said it didn’t upset him today and that he can handle it. I want to speak to the school but he said it will make things worse and he said he will never tell me anything again. What the hell do I do? I’m so cross with the school that they don’t seem to notice fights happening during school time.

Do NOT speak to the other parents.
You should approach the school, pastoral head not just the form tutor. Explain your concerns and ask for a copy of their bullying policy. If the bullying persists, make it clear that you will be informing the police.
Unfortunately, in my experience, boys’ grammar schools are hotbeds for bullying which is often swept under the carpet as schools want to protect their reputation.

Tell him to fight back. The feral and nasty kind pick on those who turn the other cheek. If someone throws a punch, teach your kid to throw two. Watch the bullying go away. Probably not a popular opinion around here, but this softly softly nonsense just makes it worse for the bullied.

Tell him to fight back. If it was that simple there would be no bullying at all. Bullies pick on those they know they can defeat especially with a group of friends behind the, fighting back sometimes gets your head kicked in.

@Eeerrrr

Take action as follows:

1. Report the boys to the police
2. Tell the school
3. Send your son to karate lessons so he gains some physical self confidence
4. Tell your son bullies only back down when there are consequences - hence actions 1 and 2. Doing nothing will simply make matters much worse for him.

This^ Be sure to let the school know you have contacted the police. They will take it much more seriously then because it can't be downplayed. Karate lessons were the best thing I ever did for my son. He learned self-defense methods. At age 16, when a fight broke out in the locker room one of the football players decided to throw a punch at his head. He blocked it. Another punch. He blocked it again. Then he looked the bully in the eye and said: "Don't. Just walk away." He got a reputation as someone who was not to be messed with and had no further trouble. (He never told me about the incident. A coach who witnessed it called me. Said he really knew how to handle himself without getting physical. I am proud.)

I also agree with @Eeerrrr. I would report to the police as this is a criminal assault, then inform the school. Let the police knock on the doors of the little shits and explain to their parents what they have done. Your son won't get any trouble from them again.

Karate / boxing lessons would normally be a good idea but in this case the DS already did fight back and in both instances in the OP he was attacked by a group of boys.