To take things said by a three year old with a pinch of salt?

[stobartstruck]

Nct group often flurries with over-dramatic responses to 'hurtful' things said to them by their pre-schoolers.

AIBU to think 'ffs it's a small child, they don't really know what they're saying'

Or are preschoolers actually capable of wanting to offend?

@Hardbackwriter you're not precious, I've had exactly that from my 3-year old and it really hurt me. I cried a lot. It's not performative, it's just hurtful. It would be strange to NOT be hurt by your toddler repeatedly telling you they preferred the other parent.

Mine's so diplomatic. When asked whether he likes Mummy or Daddy best, he says 'I like Mummy and Daddy". Then he tells us he loves his aunt's dog best of all. Which I suppose we deserve for asking the question .

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

Mine's so diplomatic. When asked whether he likes Mummy or Daddy best, he says 'I like Mummy and Daddy". Then he tells us he loves his aunt's dog best of all. Which I suppose we deserve for asking the question .

That’s quite shit of you to ask your child which parent they like best!

I second that it's really shitty asking that question. My parents asked me that sort of question relentlessly 'as a joke' and I was traumatised by it.

I remember when DD aged 3 said to me she preferred it when we ate out because "then we don't have to eat what mummy cooks"

I felt she was saying my cooking was dreadful though DH kindly offered an alternative interpretation - that perhaps she meant everybody could choose different things and therefore have exactly what they wanted.

@Jellybabiesforbreakfast

Mine's so diplomatic. When asked whether he likes Mummy or Daddy best, he says 'I like Mummy and Daddy". Then he tells us he loves his aunt's dog best of all. Which I suppose we deserve for asking the question .

He sounds more mature than either of his parents. He probably has to be.

I’m not saying everyone is being performative, but it really sounds like this NCT group are.

Last time my toddler said she preferred her dad I took the opportunity to go have a quiet cup of tea and breathe a sigh of relief that he was on duty for a bit! The other day she described him as “so much beautiful” which really cracked me up. Not sure she’s ever said that about me!

I will never understand the pathetic cries of mothers who one day find out that their child would prefer to spend a bit of time with their dad.
such fools.

a, be happy your kid knows & loves both of their parents and trusts them both. what's better than that?

b, enjoy your fucking freedom!
have a bath, have a nap, do whatever the fuck you want but usually never can!

dagger to the heart...🙄🙄🙄

@stobartstruck I think these things hurt because they are somehow touching a raw nerve.
Sometimes there will be a very good reason that it’s a raw nerve, sometimes there won’t. Sometimes it will be fuelling some guilt (eg to be at work) or not feeling good enough etc.. (eg I don’t love you….).

What I wouldn’t do is just dismissing everything they say because there is often a lot of truth in there.

I’ve had my dcs sometimes saying things that are hard to hear because they’ve basically laid out aloud a big issue that everyone was skirting around (eg that someone isn’t very nice).

That’s quite shit of you to ask your child which parent they like best!

Of course we don't ask it as a serious question . He thinks it's a great joke, especially when his daddy pretends to be upset at not being the favourite. When grandma comes, she's definitely the favourite.

@RickOShay

Ds aged about 3 or 4 had to complete a sentence Why I love my mummy. He wrote because she charges up the iPad I honestly could have throttled him

When one of my DS’s was 3 his nursery did a similar thing - I think it was around Mother’s Day, they put a great big display up with all the children having a sheet that said “I love my mummy because [child’s answer]”

Most of them said really sweet things.
And then my DS’s one said “I love my mummy because she makes me pizza” 🤣🤣🤣 thanks kid 🤣🤣🤣

@MistyFrequencies

Mine told me recently she loves her daddy more than me. I said that's fair enough, thanks for sharing your feelings. Her dad thought it wasnt nice of her to say so asked for more details and it was because he always buys her sweets on Thursday 🤷‍♂️ They're kids. Nothing they say should be reason for an adult to be upset really.

I don't think they are malicious at that age but I did feel a bit awkward when our daughter was about 18 months old and referred to any man with a beard as Daddy, took some explaining.

Why I love my mummy. He wrote because she charges up the iPad

. We get a similar thing, though not quite as funny..."I love Mummy because she makes me chips". "I love Daddy because he lets me watch TV lots".

@RickOShay

my DS2 (17) recently recalled that when he was little one of his favourite meals for lunch was Heinz tomato soup with added chunks of cheese.
I'm so glad I didn't bother with made-from-scratch Anabel Karmel bullshit!🤣

Children that age are totally egocentric- they don’t view others as people with feelings and thoughts, only how the people feature in relation to them- ie giving them what they want or making them do things they don’t want!
They only have a moral compass in terms of avoiding punishment.

Maybe send some child psychology links to these hysterical mums?
Of course the mums are allowed to be annoyed that this child you’ve changed your whole life for is being a little arsehole but you can’t attribute adult expectations on them by giving these highly charged responses. Parenting eh, just a series of thankless tasks.

My two year old says 'I don't like Mummy' when I make him brush his teeth. Sometimes he says it when he's running through a list of things he doesn't like (which includes the beloved cats, his favourite foods, his friends at nursery...)

I don't take it seriously because he's not being malicious, he's just experimenting with words and feelings. He runs to me when he's scared or hurt and loves cuddles, so I think we're fine.

Pretty much all of my kids have said "I hate you" at various ages.
I just reply "sure. but I still love you"

they usually give up at that point because they are floored by my reaction.
mwahaha.

don't get mad peeps. get even!😉

My then 3yo said to me "I don't like my mummy and daddy anymore". I was trying not to laugh while I told him that wasn't very kind.
He's almost 5 now and told me I had a fat tummy yesterday, which is true especially given I had ds2 6 months ago. He did apologise quickly though. Again I wasn't offended.

My 9 year old, in response to me putting in a boundary, was so upset he called me ‘fat boobs’. Then when that didn’t work, ‘stumpy legs’. Then that didn’t work so he tried ‘grimy face’ 😂😂 I said ‘well, your fat boobed, stumpy legged, grimy faced mum says ‘no, not today’ and walked away laughing.

If I got offended by things DC say I’d be in bits. It’s not me he hates, it’s my ability to thwart what he wants and the power I have. He hasn’t done it since because he didn’t get a reaction. It was very hard not to just laugh though. I particularly liked his use of language that got progressively better at each insult.

Depends what the 3 Yr old is saying "daddy kissed the babysitter in the mouth and they are in love" (it was my friend's 4 year old that told her that doozy) might be a bit upsetting....

@BeyondMyWits

Depends what the 3 Yr old is saying "daddy kissed the babysitter in the mouth and they are in love" (it was my friend's 4 year old that told her that doozy) might be a bit upsetting....

Wow.

so embarrassing. I was even more pissed off because that was his power ranger phase and I spent hours being pink ranger, while of course he was ALWAYS red ranger and I was never allowed to change my colour, as obviously I had to be his subordinate.
No mention of that though hey ds
Oh no