Hello,
I will jump straight to it. My cousin, who is also my best friend, is in a relationship with my husbands brother. They have been together around 4/5 years.
He treats her terribly. Did not so much at the beginning (do they ever) but has gotten considerably worse. He got her into over 15 grands worth of debt on credit cards due to him constantly getting parking tickets/tickets from bus lanes/unpaid water bills. He would ignore until it got to the point of baliffs then she would feel like she had no choice. They did not live together at this point but he would threaten to kill himself or go into such a mood she would do anything for him to snap out of it so to speak.
He shouts at her, says awful things, tells her he doesn't love her, calls her names, then insults everyone she knows like her family members and friends.
He kicks off at every event. We were at a birthday recently, he got too drunk and proceeded to start an argument with his sister, screamed at her, called her a whore and flicked a lit fag in her face. Then got in his car drunk and drove off. My husband tried to stop him but he literally plowed through him (was only just driving so not hard but not the point). My cousin is naturally embarrassed, and crying her eyes out.
He breaks things in anger by throwing them against the wall/punching them.
He has done it again this weekend, left her at a birthday they were at and left her to make her own way home at 2am. One of our male friends walked her back and made sure she got in safely.
These are just some examples, I would be here all day if I listed everything he has done just in the last few months alone.
What I find really challenging is that after situations like this, I am expected to play happy families, sometimes the very next day if something else has been arranged. I am beginning to find it extremely difficult as time goes on and, as unfair as this probably is but I can't help it, irritated with her and my husband for never having any consequences about this. They both say they are done with him in the heat of the moment but the following day it's all swept under the rug.
It's not as simple as just staying out of it because like I said I am related to her and my husband is his brother. I just don't know how to continue turning a blind eye any more but then the other part of me thinks well if his own family is not going to do anything then why should I. My cousin just says she loves him and sees something in him when I speak to her about it.