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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be dreading the summer holidays?

53 replies

JadedStrumpet · 23/06/2021 08:44

Lone parent to nearly three year old twins. They currently go to nursery two days a week as I work PT. Obviously the nursery will be closed for holidays and they aren't old enough to go to the summer club.

I will have to drop down to one day a week at work for the six weeks (I work through an agency) My parents have said they will take them for one day but two days a week is too much.

It sounds awful but I am nearly in tears just thinking about it. The thought of six days a week summer child care slog honestly makes me want to run away from home. I feel like I can't cope and it hasn't even started yet.

Please tell me I'm not alone?Sad

OP posts:
fruitpastille · 23/06/2021 10:07

Do you know which school they are likely to end up at? I would try to get a childminder who does the school run there and get them in now to save you the same headache every holiday in years to come.

lanthanum · 23/06/2021 10:09

@chantico

Can you WFH during the holidays?

If so, you could ask around for a reliable older teen who could come in to babysit whilst you are elsewhere in the house. You wouldn't want to use someone young and unqualified for DC that young usually, but if you're nearby it can work well

(Yes, I do realise not everyone can WFH)

We did this a couple of times. In fact, in our case it was a 12 year old who wasn't happy being left at home on her own all day, and there was no money involved. Technically, I was babysitting the 12 year old, but she occupied my 3 year old, so I got my work done and she didn't have to see it as being babysat! (With twins you might need someone a bit older, though.)
Comedycook · 23/06/2021 10:09

I'm dreading it too but for different reasons. Dh wfh, a moody teenager who refuses to go out...kids bickering endlessly and trying to keep them quiet because dh is working....no time to myself, loads of mess and constant requests for food.

Ohmygoshandfolly · 23/06/2021 10:11

I have 5 DC and I’m dreading it for many reasons. Mostly covid related tbh, even the things that are open need prebooking weeks in advance to be in with a shot and I’m not always in a position to do that/can’t risk losing the money if any sort of illness occurs that causes us not to be able to go. It’s going to be a very, very long six weeks.

Nettleskeins · 23/06/2021 10:36

It isn't going to be as bad as you think (mother of twins and extra son, one and half years older). Admittedly I wasn't a single parent but husband was working throughout holidays and my parents never did any childcare whatsoever nor were they in the same country.
What are positives? I loved not having to get out of the house or wash iron clothes for nursery/presenting myself to world, I loved that in the holidays there was so much less stress and timetables.
Every day plan to get out in fresh air to same place (little children like routine and it will be easier to know where all "facilities" are)
Plan lots of easy but delicious lunches in advance (cottage pies macaroni cheese fish pie quiches, bread rolls for sandwiches) you can put in freezer and have ready to avoid that endless panic about feeding time at zoo. Lunchtime outside (my mother did this throughout holidays, with four children) on a picnic rug. In her back garden. Sausages, mashed potato, carrot sticks, cucumber. Stewed fruit for puddings with readymade custard.

So mornings out and afternoons at home, rest time between 2 and 4 (no TV just quiet pottering, picture books) 4 pm snack (milk and biscuits) then bit of telly, perhaps invite friend over once a week or go to someone's house (put this in diary well in advance but only few times a week, unless it is the same friend, again kids like familiar friend not new friends every day)
Once a week do something more adventurous, could be craft or making house under table but limit craft and boisterous games indoors...that is where you keep it simple so you don't exhaust yourself
Evening routine could be bath much earlier and singing together, story time.
Relax together, see other adults (book them to visit or to be visited) and it will all feel less unbearable. Honestly loneliness is the killer, but you don't have to do exciting things with kids that age, just potter around and be happy, that's what they want most, unstressed mum.

Nettleskeins · 23/06/2021 10:42

Also, absolutely get a comfortable, serviceable double buggy sorted out, that was the priority and a duff buggy that you can't push and two tantrumming children who want walk where you want them or worse won't sit down cos it s not that comfy. You have at least another two years of getting use out of a buggy with twins, please please invest in one right now (my bugbear with twin buggies and people who expect kids to "walk"). Once you are at your destination you will have two busy bees running everywhere but don't let the journey be a form of torture. Twins like their safe place and a good buggy can be this. (I drove very little, and stayed local)

TooStressyTooMessy · 23/06/2021 12:06

YANBU. I have older primary age kids and still hate the school holidays. Love the other ones but summer is too long. Thank goodness we are not in lockdown but I have been sitting her today trying to figure out how to fill the time.

I don’t think my own kids even enjoy them that much - they respond much better to structure, lots of activities and seeing their friends all day at school.

Horst · 23/06/2021 12:27

Are you sure it’s not just that your funding doesn’t cover the holidays?

MiniCooperLover · 23/06/2021 12:42

I'm surprised your nursery is shutting, are you certain? Usually nurseries only close for term time if they're a specific term nursery

Comedycook · 23/06/2021 13:09

@TooStressyTooMessy

YANBU. I have older primary age kids and still hate the school holidays. Love the other ones but summer is too long. Thank goodness we are not in lockdown but I have been sitting her today trying to figure out how to fill the time.

I don’t think my own kids even enjoy them that much - they respond much better to structure, lots of activities and seeing their friends all day at school.

That's true...my DC also prefer being at school. They'd enjoy a couple of weeks off but six weeks is too long and get bored eventually. It's also much more expensive to entertain older children compared to little ones. A trip to the park and an ice cream is not exciting anymore!
SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 23/06/2021 14:19

I agree with others that you should find childcare there are lots around for 3 year olds (but obviously more difficult to find than for older kids). I don't blame you though OP, young twins on your own for a long slog is exhausting.

TooStressyTooMessy · 23/06/2021 14:22

Comedycook, yes the cost definitely adds up!

Wondergirl100 · 23/06/2021 14:30

OP if you can afford it - there is always childcare available! Many options - nurseries round here are open all the time (if they are private ones) - childminders - our childminder is ALWAYS open and takes loads of kids at short notice to help people out she is amazing

ALl fails, you could get a local teenager to come for a few hours a week or a live out nanny who needs extra hours.

Find what you need and go get it! Its such a difficult age of course weeks with no support will be tough.

TeacupDrama · 23/06/2021 14:30

There is no country in Europe or USA Canada Australia, Japan, Singapore or NZ that has less than 6 weeks in summer most have more 8 being average I don't know about South America Africa or most of Asia

Wondergirl100 · 23/06/2021 14:32

@Nettleskeins those are lovely suggestions - I have to say though as a parent of v energetic child he could never just do morninggs out! post rest time we had to get straight out again.

But I really agree routine saves the day - and lots and lots of meeting up with other mums and kids.

Beannag · 23/06/2021 14:33

Find a year round nursery, it's unusual for a nursery to fully shut over the holidays (they do offer different contracts though). Its a day extra a week essentially.

stobartstruck · 23/06/2021 14:35

@CassandrasCastle

I'm confused - don't most nurseries remain open during the holidays?
Yes unless it's a school 'nursery/preschool' type thing
Hesma · 23/06/2021 21:48

Are you a single mum? Where is Dad in all of this???

LoopTheLoops · 23/06/2021 22:43

^ It literally says she’s a lone parent, it’s the first two words 🤦‍♀️

Jangle33 · 23/06/2021 22:56

That sounds super hard OP. I deliberately sent mine to nursery that was open 50 weeks per year, completely the norm around here for working parents. Any chance you can find a regular nursery to cover?

MsTSwift · 23/06/2021 23:00

How come these “dads” get to walk away 🙄? Should be illegal. Toddler twins are a 2 man job.

motogogo · 23/06/2021 23:08

What about their father or his family? Why do dads get to walk away (assuming you aren't a widow)

Lazypuppy · 23/06/2021 23:10

15hour funding is normally only term time but most nurseries are open all year just need to pay the extra.

My dd gets the 30hours and they stratch the funding so we get it a little bit cheaper each month all year

LoopTheLoops · 23/06/2021 23:11

Well you can’t force someone to be a parent can you?! 😕 Would like to know how pp think you can force someone?

MiaMarshmallows · 23/06/2021 23:15

I'm sure you would find someone willing to help for a few hours a day. Try the childcare website