To make a play for a colleague

[gelatodipistacchio]

He's wholly unsuitable.

I'm very attracted to him.

I think he may be interested in me.

The maxim “ never shit where you eat” applies here I think.!

Don't do it!!!

Don't you have the imagination to see how this is going to play out, OP?

Sigh, yes, it's a terrible idea. I suppose I need to suffer through Tinder dates or something.

I've seen it work out, but also seen it go horribly wrong.

My feelings are all over the place presently due to a bunch of stressors. I think I'm just lonely

No! Having read quite a few of these threads where they have gone on to ask the colleague out, it normally leaves them embarrassed because it's not mutual attraction, they find out they've got their wires crossed and mistaken friendliness for flirting, it's so cringe to read they've given their number out and get no or uninterested response.
If something evolves naturally then it will be but don't make a play for him.
Get on tinder

Thanks @seensome

I will hoist up my girdles, or whatever it is we modern ladies do

About to get into bed with a co-worker I've sort of made a play for 3 years ago.
So, I wouldn't discourage dating colleagues per se.

But:
"He's wholly unsuitable"
Then, forget it.

Hi OP, I have two questions! 1) what makes the colleague wholly unsuitable? 2) are you both single?

I guess if you’re both single and he’s just unsuitable as in not your usual type, why not? If he’s unsuitable for some seriously concerning reasons then avoid!

Lots of people meet their long term partners at work. That's not the problem. The issue is that you said he's entirely unsuitable. Why?

I'm curious as well about his unsuitability :)

Do it! I was attracted to my unsuitable colleague and now we are very happily married. Crack on!

Why’s he unsuitable?

If he’s married or an up line manager definitely steer clear.

If he’s a down line report or has already shagged one other colleague probably best avoided.

Otherwise why not?

He's unsuitable in that he appears to like drinking a bit too much. He seems to get pissed with friends at the weekends and then is often unwell on a Monday. Beer brewing is a serious hobby of his.

He is single, ambitious, bright, and appears to be solvent.

@gelatodipistacchio

He's unsuitable in that he appears to like drinking a bit too much. He seems to get pissed with friends at the weekends and then is often unwell on a Monday. Beer brewing is a serious hobby of his.

He is single, ambitious, bright, and appears to be solvent.

Fuck that.

Bleurgh. Ick.

Potential for awkwardness or having to move jobs if it goes tits up is only ever worth it when there's an extraordinary connection and someone is extremely sensible and able to keep boundaries at work.

This ain't it.

Perhaps just enjoy flirting then but don't take it any further

Who is more senior, you or him? If it goes wrong, whoever is more junior will probably have to move on, and whoever is more senior will have their professionalism tainted.

I have bought this particular t-shirt (in fact it sounds like the same bloke). I don't recommend it. We still work together and its fine now but let's just say I went through several years of unhappiness over it. And that's probably the best case scenario.

You may get a few bunk-ups out of it but you're not going to get a steady committed relationship with a heavy drinker, or at least not one you would want. You will never be able to be open at work about it and yet people will all know (while not knowing). It will negatively impact the quality of your focus and your work.

I'm not always in the "don't shit where you eat" camp. In reality thousands of people meet their SO at work. But there is no middle ground with work relationships. If you're going to do it you have to be in a proper, official relationship or not go there at all. This guy is clearly not official relationship material. It's not going to be worth it.

We work in different areas of the company. In a way, he is my client on a project. The project will last another year or so.

I'm sure it's right that it should be a flirtation and nothing more.

As a middle aged single mum hag, I'm probably just imagining it anyway.