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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be completely worn out by DD

8 replies

Minniem2020 · 22/06/2021 21:22

DD14 has mocks this week. Her maths is tomorrow which despite being in set 1 she has struggled with. So it's 9pm and I go through and there she is lying looking at her phone. I say she really should be revising and then it starts. She says she doesn't know what she should be looking at so I suggest she needs to try and refresh a bit of everything. She then says she can't do this as she doesn't know what they've been learning. I then suggest ways in which she could find topics to revise and every response is a no until in the end she gets pissed off with me for not helping her. I explain it isn't me that's in the lessons and I'm trying my best but when she's negative about everything I suggest there isn't much I can do to which she tells me to forget it. Well I then got pissed off myself and snapped at her that if she's not willing to help herself then she can't expect everything to be handed to her. She has known about the mocks for 2 weeks and hasn't bothered to put any effort in.
The thing is that she is like this with everything. She does struggle with school itself and suffers anxiety and she's the same when I try and help her. Everything is a no. She has aways been a really good student but lately her work has slipped. I've been speaking to teachers etc to see how we can help but if she's not willing to put the work in then what am I meant to do.
So, am I being unreasonable to be completely worn out

OP posts:
LIZS · 22/06/2021 21:28

Leave it. Nothing she does now will change the outcome. Mocks will show her learning gaps . Afterwards she needs to work on her study skills and revision planning so it is less stressful next time round. Maybe you can ask HoY what support they can offer her to improve her revision and exam technique.

Minniem2020 · 22/06/2021 21:38

Thanks @LIZS. I think that's my worry is that it'll be the same when the actual exams coming around

OP posts:
Justletmebuyahouse · 22/06/2021 21:40

I had a sibling like this - every exam they ever took they apparently knew nothing they needed to know, every time they left the exam hall they ‘knew they’d failed’.

Funnily enough every exam they aced.

It must just be a coping strategy OP. Good luck to her!

mbosnz · 22/06/2021 21:40

You might want to look at study guides and tutors. This is a hell of a lot for them to get their head around - not least, just how this could influence their lives in the near future.

They're overwhelmed.

Bonesy1 · 22/06/2021 21:47

There is. I thing to be achieved tonight, reassure her that mocks are there to show you where you have more to learn. It’s probably important to work out how she learns, one of mine write loads of notes, then condensed and condensed to crib cards. Another liked to use revision videos and the 3rd ‘winged it’, all got results applicable to their abilities

Minniem2020 · 22/06/2021 22:06

Thanks @Justletmebuyahouse, hopefully she's the same.

OP posts:
Ozberry · 22/06/2021 22:21

I’ve got one of these. He’s a school refuser too. It’s exhausting. No advice, just solidarity.

Minniem2020 · 22/06/2021 22:24

Thank you @Ozberry. It is exhausting!

OP posts:
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