AIBU or are parents?

[Upallnight91]

Posting here as I need to know if its just me being hormonal and wrong or if parents need to realise they may be in the wrong.

DS is 3 and has become very unruly, kicking, punching, smacking, he doesn't listen, plays people off one another and has become very demanding and screams if he doesn't get his own way. It's probably his age but every attempt made to correct his behaviour is met with him laughing thinking its funny.
The problem lies in that my parents look after him and they have in the past let him do whatever he wants. They have not corrected his behaviour and ALWAYS just stick the TV or mobile on to make him quiet. They give him sugar loaded juice, fizzy drinks, crisps and all manor of junk. Don't get me wrong it's fine the occasional time but this is everytime he's with them. They watch him for a few hrs (he has lunch, afternoon snack with them until either DH or I finish work). I'm grateful they are helping us out with childcare but I would have thought they would at least see that the sugar and constant TV time is affecting his behaviour. He is great when he has healthy snacks, meals, isn't glued to a screen. Ive tried explaining this too them, which my mum went well its only for a few hrs (he comes home watching a video my dad's phone every single time), he likes crisps, we like to spoil him. And then in the same moment complaining that DS behaviour ' is not right'. They have a go at me for pretty much everything and always turn any concerns I have back on me. (This is with anything not just DS).
This has negative results at bedtime as he's just wired, but they don't have to deal with it so it isn't their problem..

I'm at a loss... AIBU and should let it go or should I try and sit them down again and explain?

@Gullible2021
Had a look into childminders, there aren't that many around my area and the ones that are are at full capacity and have waiting lists (most of them have had to lower the amount of children due to covid regulations).
What is 'mothers help', sorry haven't heard about that before.

[quote Upallnight91]@Gullible2021
Had a look into childminders, there aren't that many around my area and the ones that are are at full capacity and have waiting lists (most of them have had to lower the amount of children due to covid regulations).
What is 'mothers help', sorry haven't heard about that before.[/quote]
Sometimes people advertise for a "mother's help", seems an outdated term but I do still see job adverts for them. Really, its like a part time aupair. You'd advertise for the hours you need and your requirements and what you could afford to pay. "Mother's help" sometimes includes light housekeeping duties.

This is the sort of advert I've seen but locally I've seen them for as little as 5 hours a week! Insist on DBS checks obviously and vet whoever it would be in terms of experience
with children.

uk.indeed.com/m/viewjob?jk=2e39e63f8c53a20e&advn=6080539141534727&adid=370643891&ad=-6NYlbfkN0CLzl8ICMTGVUvN5cjcfCL7iESJcHLPz0u8mMavb4itYyDo6yxa6NhDEps_7jOM8d5kQGlCmbAE-cEu5UY2e5lcm_oF2BA4GRhTNn6f0Xe1O_x3lRzfuhNzYM8Im8uEar6gzY8XnmaKMZq87eAnMKhe8kHhos35CXGOhFIi5aFb509Lad8Ztkrqi6E2qKSQm4ZUhSUJCk8-0PGeh5Q4-Vof7SbcsDJJdMT-nPQ44vKuq0decwjDblx_yv7OAM8SDeehXhhRNeXQF3RQ2257aPMJwDh6njN7_XYCca9GHvHJKR4vAS8g4zQlpaMYSk76HJEdeBHIaeP_SbbDNHRKLS4kMWFOysdmaHvWhIQerp6pT9Lpm4i2nXI1FgfhmkhMj_23c3WByb_7BBi524M1_K97EpWak2G9dUni1dXC8GBllWI24uVOdVyH&from=serp&dest=http%3A%2F%2Fuk.indeed.com%2Fjob%2Fhousekeepermothers-help-2e39e63f8c53a20e&desth=61644c73f120c0b92d02cf178e5371b6&prevUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fuk.indeed.com%2Fm%2Fjobs%3Fq%3DMothers%2BHelp&tk=1f8sbrj3vston800&dupclk=1&acatk=1f8sbru6hssrv800&pub=6917c08ec3ecf6012dd26f3773156e870cace3277f6b99df

@Stompythedinosaur
I think you may be right, he seems to be really trying to test his boundaries, it's just going to be trial and error now to see what works.
Think the upset in his routine has a part to play too.

@Gullible2021

Thank you very much, I'll have a look at that.

They’ve got different boundaries. I doubt it’s what they’re actually feeding him. If you gave him unhealthy snacks, I doubt his behaviour would be much different because he’d still be with you and he knows what he can and can’t get away with with you. Don’t blame the screens and the snacks. They’re just less firm or haven’t established what’s acceptable when he’s with them.

They’re doing you a favour. I’d be making finding a different option a priority.