Getting autistic son to drink at school

[Vimtogenie]

We send our DS6 to school with 2 drinks.
A carton for break. A refillable bottle for lunch. Fairly often he comes back with both drinks untouched. I’m 95% certain that he doesn’t finish the carton if he does open it, so a few sips then binned. The drinks we send are things he likes.

While he’s never drank loads, he now seems to be drinking nothing 3/4 days out 5. Even in the hot weather. He goes to breakfast club so between the hours of 7:30 & 3:30 he’s not drinking anything. He’s then telling us he’s hungry all evening. He’s not always able to differentiate hunger from thirst so we struggle to get a drink in him sometimes.

We’ve had a chat with him & he won’t have a drink as it makes him wee. We’re no further in working out why that upsets him so much at school. He happily takes himself to the toilet at home, but we do have some toilet challenges at home.

Any suggestions, ideas? Should school be doing anything?

Bottom out with him whether it's a loo thing or a drinking thing. No point wasting energy trying to solve the wrong problem.

If loo, is there a quiet, out of the way loo somewhere he could use maybe once a day? Music block loos for example.

If he is on board with drinking more, then a Fitbit programmed to buzz reminders or an LSA/TA might be able to help remind him, whether he has a one to one or not. He could also be allowed out 5 mins early to "avoid the scrum", which might happen to quietly facilitate a toilet visit.

As usual it's one thing if he were choosing not to drink, but it's a much bigger deal if he feels completely unable to do this basic thing, day after day.

It comes across as more a fear of the bathroom which is a common trait of ASD within the school.
Asking the teacher to bring him to the disability bathroom, reassuring him he can ask any time.
Hopefully the school will be accommodating.

My son is the same he will not use the toilets at school so he will not drink at school he has a couple if pints of milk when he gets home (no exaggeration) he just will not go unless desperate and will not drink unless desperate either i took him on a round trip to Wales 6 hours driving plus time spent there not one wee was had by him until we got home

My ASD son, aged 9 won't drink at school so he won't have to go to the toilet. For him it's the noise of the hand dryer or the germs that might be in there.

He's had 2 urine infections this year which have to be down to not drinking between 9-4

My autistic son is exactly the same so I'm interested in what solutions others have found. I think it's partly his interoception (basically his body's signals) are a bit scrambled and he doesn't realise when he's thirsty. I second the suggestion to include water-rich fruits and veg. My son loves these - the only problem is I then worry he's not getting enough calories, as he's not a huge eater either, so he'll just fill up on melon or cucumber. It's a constant balancing act, but he's gradually improving I think (he's eight now). I've asked the teachers to nudge him to have some but he'll just have a tiny sip and then no more. So it's not ideal, but I make him drink when he's at home and then hope for the best at school basically!

What does he have for breakfast and lunch? He should be drinking around 1 1/2 l fluid a day, but it doesn’t need to be regularly throughout the day. I’d make sure he had a big drink when he wakes up and another with his breakfast, then a big drink as soon as he’s home from school and again with his tea.

He tells me he doesn’t drink because it makes him wee. Which he doesn’t want to do at school. Struggling to work out if it’s a toilet thing or an anxiety afraid of having an accident thing. He can’t tell us.

Apparently it’s not too smelly/noisy/busy. I don’t think they have a disabled bathroom, but i will ask.

Some really excellent suggestions here which I will pick up. Thank you.

Oh I had this issue with my autistic dd at this age. She is now 15.
The teacher was excellent in lots of ways, she worked out that dd was obsessed with smurfs, she bought some smurf stickers and my DD got a smurf sticker when she drank half of her water bottle.

She also used to put pictures of Smurfs around the classroom for her to find

She never had an issue with the toilet though, just forgot to drink or couldn't be arsed

Breakfast he has whatever they’re serving at breakfast club so usually a bowl of cereal/a cereal bar. There are drinks on offer, but it’s down to whether he wants one.

For lunch he usually has a yoghurt, sandwich & a fruit yoyo. He eats a LOT of fruit at home. Usually after school & in the evening.

I think @TwoLeftElbows nailed it:

“As usual it's one thing if he were choosing not to drink, but it's a much bigger deal if he feels completely unable to do this basic thing, day after day.”

He struggles with lots of things & while he does have some assistance, I don’t think it’s enough. School seem happy to let him coast a bit

Exactly the same problem with my autistic 6yo!

We have had a major breakthrough in the last few weeks on suggestion from the bladder nurse that we give her flavoured water. It's worked really well. She's still not drinking enough, but it's a whole lot better than nothing at all, which is where we were before half term.

Would he be happier using toilets in breakfast club if it’s quieter there? Then he could have a drink there, then use the toilet before school starts. DS2 doesn’t always recognise when he’s thirsty either but breakfast club staff will encourage him to drink there, then before they leave he goes to the toilet - DS1 tells me it’s much quieter than going at lunchtime.

Does he have an ehcp? If not apply for one yourself, don’t wait for the school. Being so worried about using the toilet he’s holding in his wee from 7.30 to when he’s picked up later and not drinking all that time is very worrying - he isn’t getting enough support at school at all.

(My son is 9 with complex autism and attends an autism specific specialist school - we applied for an ehcp ourselves).

Would he like to have a competition with a member of staff to see who can drink their bottle first/the most water spread over the day (within reason!)
We have had some of these when the weather has been warm with pupils.

@Vimtogenie when I replied I hadn't clocked quite how young he is.

At this age there will often be a couple of kids in a class who are on extra daytime drinking - it's a common part of the regime for bedwetters, for example. My DD's class had a table where some kids went at break to drink their milk and others went to drink their breaktime water (down to a Sharpie line on their bottles). IME it's no problem to ask class teacher to help support extra drinking at school, age 6. It sounds like this is more a toilet problem, but that is similarly something they should be familiar with and able to support.

Also it might help to use routine to your advantage. I would suggest if he is allowed to use a different loo, it's at a specified time each day to start with so he doesn't also have the "burden" of identifying he needs to go, deciding whether to go in class or wait for break, putting his hand up etc. When you break it down it's a lot of tasks, each one an opportunity to "fail". A drink at break and a loo trip at the start of lunch, for example, might take a lot of the work out of it for him and build a routine he can carry on independently later on.

Thanks all.

Hoping we’ve got to the bottom of it finally. He’s been afraid of having an accident.

But he did have half his drink yesterday which just doesn’t happen so fingers crossed. His carton was untouched but it’s a start.

We also have a meeting booked in at school in a couple of weeks so will see how it grows between now & then & then will ask if any of the above can be put in place if he’s still struggling.

Same issue as my ASD son (aged 8) - he doesn’t drink because he doesn’t want to need the toilet in lesson time when he can’t go (rules - rule is that you should go to the toilet at break and lunch - although he has been assured the teacher will let him go, he can only ‘see the rule’). I suspect he doesn’t like the school toilets either, but the main verbalised reason is that he doesn’t drink so that he won’t need to go at the ‘wrong’ time

My daughter is autistic she is 7 now. But she didn't drink much at first but finding the right water bottle sometimes helps. Once they're happy with the bottle the will be more confident in drinking themselves. Also the teacher should prompt them often. Sometimes our children won't do these things until told to. Like they feel like everyone's watching them. Also she didn't go toilet al all for years. Now she only goes with her toilet seat and if she really can't hold it in she'll drag the teacher there. But usually when I pick her up she'll only go with me. So it's just they're not comfortable with someone else taking them. And school toilets are not very nice. Having other people walking in and out is also not good with austic kids. They don't feel safe or comfortable in this situation. So it takes routine and alot of encouragement