To wonder if DS did enough?

[StandingOvulation]

Slightly unashamedly proud post. But with concerns he could have done more.

DS is 15, normal teenage behaviour at school, a bit chatty but a generally good pupil.

There was malarkey in Science tiday which resulted in teacher admonishing a group at the back for being a bit chatty. One pupil threw some water and was sent out. Another pupil was warned and muttered something about the teacher bring a bitch. DS called him on it by sharply saying "don't do that again".

Teacher called DS up on being loud and told him to join the other removed pupil. DS questioned why and was given a detention 😬. But accepted it and left the room.

He absolutely does not want me to contact school to explain further. He'll just accept the detention as one of those things. He was in the chatty group, which isn't great so he sees it as consequence for that.

AIBU to be proud of him for calling out the misogyny?

@Gemma2019

Yeah sorry but I don't believe that your DS said that to his friend for one second. He's been punished for being loud in class and made that bit up to make him sound noble and absolve himself of blame. Not surprised he doesn't want you to contact the school!

I don't know if that's true but it's certainly very possible.

Before feeling 'Slightly unashamedly proud', I really would contact the teacher for clarification.

I cannot see anything in this day to day classroom incident for a parent to be involved with, or even know about!

If anything the lesson for him is to talk less in class, and irritate his teachers less.

He may not have told you the whole truth anyway- I suspect you have an edited version....

I was a secondary teacher for ten years and honestly nothing helps classes behaviour more then students themselves admonishing each other. Your son is a good kid you should be really proud of him x

If this is true then good on your son and he shouldn’t have gotten a detention, there is nothing better than when a class mate tells them to shut up especially if it’s one of their own friends.
However you only have his side of the story so he could easily be fibbing so he doesn’t get in trouble from you or doing the typical teenage thing where they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong and people are just out to get them
So it’s really hard to say whether the detention was deserved or not.

@UserAtRandom

IME teenagers use "bitch" as a derogatory word for both men and women. So I'm not so sure DS was actually calling out misogyny.

I don’t think most of them do, certainly not the “ladsy” ones. It’s not long since I’ve been a teenager- things might have changed but not so sure.

@TheMarzipanDildo

Maybe my teens are unusual then, but they and their friends all seem to use bitch to refer to boys as much as girls.

Teen language changes very quickly so if you're basing this on your own memories of being a teenager, I can guarantee things have changed.

@Anoisagusaris

It’s not up to him to discipline class mates.

But it is everyone's job to call our misogyny.

Well done to your son.
Personally i wouldn't care about the detention.

If my teenage son came home and told me this, I would laugh…… a lot but if your son would 100% never lie then ok, enjoy that proud feeling.

With the best of intentions, I would take a story with a pinch of salt, there may have been parts omitted when it was relayed to you. I have seen people in mock outrage 'stand up for the teacher' but they really are making fun of the situation/using it as an excuse to prolong the joke or laughter. I don't think that's what has happened here, but I think the teacher might have seen it in this light hence the reaction.

Sorry, don’t buy his version of events.

toocold54
If this is true then good on your son and he shouldn’t have gotten a detention

Why shouldn't he have got a detention?
He was chatting disruptive and refusing to do as asked by the teacher.

And lets be honest here, if he did this he was still being disrespectful and disruptive by doing this loudly.

AIBU to be proud of him for calling out the misogyny?
I have to admit that most of the students I work with would probably not even k ow what misogyny means.
Your lad may be a hero for stopping the class being disrespectful to their teacher, but are you sure it had anything to do with contempt for a female? Are they seriously never rude to the male teachers?

The kid could've thrown something at the OP's son behind the teacher's back - hence the "Don't do that again", that the teacher heard and sent him out for.

Or it could've been just how her DS said it was but the OP won't know unless she finds out from the teacher.

@Betty000

If my teenage son came home and told me this, I would laugh…… a lot but if your son would 100% never lie then ok, enjoy that proud feeling.

😂😂😂 my thoughts exactly. No wonder he doesn’t want her to contact the school.

@WorraLiberty

He absolutely does not want me to contact school to explain further. He'll just accept the detention as one of those things.

That also rings a little alarm bell for me although I admit, I'm basing it on how sneaky I was at school. There's no way I'd want my parents to contact the school either

That's what I thought too. I suspect DS did more than enough and does not want you to find out!

I think he's covering up he got detention for being a pita. You totally bought it too 😆. Calling out misogyny, my arse.