Would you report this carer?

[SummerHathCommeth]

I was in the supermarket this afternoon and there was an elderly woman (possibly with special needs) and her carer shopping.

A customer was waiting to get past the elderly woman so her carer pulled her out of the way abruptly and said ‘MOVE’. I was taken aback by this and not sure if I’d be overreacting to report it.

The carer had an NHS lanyard if that’s relevant.

Report to who?

Yes I would, but I don't know who you'd report to without more information about the person.

It just makes me think - if thats what she treats the patient like in public, how do they treat her behind closed doors?

I don't think the NHS supply carers so sounds more likely it was a a family member or friend who happened the be in their work uniform?

What did the carer say when you pulled her up on it?

@Sillawithans

What did the carer say when you pulled her up on it?

This is what I'd like to know too.

@myfuckingfreezer

I don't think the NHS supply carers so sounds more likely it was a a family member or friend who happened the be in their work uniform?

There's all sorts of NHS staff who might be out in the community with someone.

CMHT staff, community LD Nurses, Inpatient hospital staff, OTs, hospital home care (where the hospital rehab team do the first few days care post discharge) are just some examples.

Or as you say it could easily be any NHS staff member with a lanyard helping a family member.

OP you have only seen a snapshot with no context and no idea who to report anything to. Even if it's made you feel uncomfortable there isn't really much else you can do.

I don't think you can report it. You have no way of knowing if the carer was a paid, nhs carer or a family member doing a difficult job. If someone had done that to a child or even another adult but you hadn't suspected they were a carer, just a parent or a partner, would you think of reporting it?

I'm confused what are you wanting to report? Saying 'Move' isn't reportable surely?

@lilmishap are you the carer? Of course it's reportable. Would you treat an elderly person the same way?
I care for an 84 year old lady every evening, if anyone did that her I think I'd flatten them.

I care for an 84 year old lady every evening, if anyone did that her I think I'd flatten them
If anyone did what to her exactly? We aren't told she bellowed at her or that she seemed in any way distressed by it. Thinking someone is rude is fine but I'm not sure it's reportable or worth flattening someone over.

In hindsight I wish I had said something, I’ve just told DH and he said he would've done. I wasn’t sure whether I was overreacting or not at the time or what the situation was. I saw her further round the supermarket and they both had lanyards on, the carer had an NHS one but couldn't see the other woman’s.

She may well be wearing a lanyard because she's at work or she may have been with a relative after work or during a break.
You didn't take the time to ask so what the hell would you say to the NHS over the phone anyway?

Horrible way to speak to someone vulnerable, especially in a professional capacity.

You can buy a NHS lanyard off eBay for about £2. Just saying.

[quote Sillawithans]@lilmishap are you the carer? Of course it's reportable. Would you treat an elderly person the same way?
I care for an 84 year old lady every evening, if anyone did that her I think I'd flatten them.[/quote]
How exactly is it reportable?
No its not a nice way to treat someone usually but it's hardly abuse. It's a snapshot of a moment where someone wasn't as polite as they could have been, that's all. Who would you even report it to, and what would you say?

Perhaps the woman was hard of hearing and responds better to short, sharp instructions. Perhaps she'd already gotten in the way of other people that day and the carer was feeling the strain. Perhaps she'd got an injury and needed to move quickly before it got knocked.

@SummerHathCommeth

In hindsight I wish I had said something, I’ve just told DH and he said he would've done. I wasn’t sure whether I was overreacting or not at the time or what the situation was. I saw her further round the supermarket and they both had lanyards on, the carer had an NHS one but couldn't see the other woman’s.

Well the ship has sailed then I'm afraid.

How would the report go?

"Hi, is that the NHS? I saw someone with an NHS lanyard walking round my local supermarket with an elderly lady. She moved the elderly lady out of the way when a customer needed to get past and she said 'move'".

"I don't know either of their names and addresses and you only have my word for it but I thought it was quite rude of the carer. Not sure what you can do but anyway that's the end of my report".

Sorry but it just wouldn't work.

I’m a carer and take an elderly lady with dementia shopping.
My commands to her sound like this, she needs firm/loud one word commands to process what she needs to do and I can imagine I sound like a right bitch.
But I promise I’m not, I can’t say to her “move back iris” or she’ll have a meltdown as she can’t process that many words in one go.
On more than one occasion I’ve had to take her arm and give her a little nudge in the right direction.

Maybe she's deaf? Most people have auditory spatial awareness; the brain separates incoming sound waves to focus on a particular voice in a noisy environment. Hearing loss diminishes spatial awareness AND the ability to distinguish a single sound or voice among background noise. Crowded places like a supermarket can be just like a wall of meaningless noise to a deaf person .. So, firstly a deaf person may be less aware of other peoples proximity; they might not hear a polite "excuse me" only a yard away, and that might well explain why the carer used just one word of warning rather loud.

@Snowpatrolling thanks, that’s good to know. It’s not something I have any experience with and wasn’t sure what to make of the situation at all.

I had a similar incident, I was at the gym once and a vulnerable looking young adult was there doing a tour with what appeared to be a carer. The carer spoke to her like absolute sh*te. I didn't know what to do initially, but as they were leaving (huge glass fronted window into the gym) I could see the body language of this carer and clearly having a go at her so I ran off the treadmill and out the gym (people must have thought I was a mad lady lol) I confronted them and asked the person if they were ok, they looked visibly nervous. I found out the care home she was from and rang them immediately telling them to come and get someone to take over and they did. They reckoned the staff member was dealt with by training. Annoyingly to this day I wish id reported to CQC also, if she was prepared to talk to her like that in public then only knows behind closed doors.

Go with your gut, if someone pulled my family member and spoke like that id want to know

Go with your gut, if someone pulled my family member and spoke like that id want to know

But how would you know?

Do you have any ideas on how the OP can successfully report this?

@Snowpatrolling my grandma was like this.

Eat
Move
Drink

It was actually her carers who pointed out to us that we were causing her more harm by being nice and using lots of language. Once they showed us how to speak to her (which, as you say, probably seemed awful!), she was much happier and actually much more independent.

@SummerHathCommeth it might have been completely awful. But it might have been the best thing for her.

[quote SummerHathCommeth]@Snowpatrolling thanks, that’s good to know. It’s not something I have any experience with and wasn’t sure what to make of the situation at all.[/quote]
It is a tough one and believe me I get some filthy looks! But by doing it this way she stays independent and I haven’t got to deal with a crisis in the supermarket!
The staff know me now and you’ll often hear me shouting out items from her list!
It’s good cos the staff have cottoned on to what I do so they do the same with her.

[quote PotteringAlong]@Snowpatrolling my grandma was like this.

Eat
Move
Drink

It was actually her carers who pointed out to us that we were causing her more harm by being nice and using lots of language. Once they showed us how to speak to her (which, as you say, probably seemed awful!), she was much happier and actually much more independent.

@SummerHathCommeth it might have been completely awful. But it might have been the best thing for her.[/quote]
Absolutely, the thing to remember with dementia is they cannot process a sentence, they hear a sentence, only hear the first word then are trying to figure out what the hell your saying!

So I got a new service users a couple of weeks ago, family couldn’t get her to shower or wash/eat anything!
So I taught them this method and whilst they thought I was abrupt, after explaining the above they understood, and she done everything she needed. Again was in the bathroom shouting “armpits, face, boobs!” Works a treat!!
And it means I dont get a cup of tea with butter in! 😂