Background: DH and I have always had an infrequent sex life. I have a history of childhood sexual abuse and he grew up in a 'religious' home to crazy parents learning sex is bad, so the 2 combined means we've both been happy with every couple months sex, and have usually spent more time doing 'other' sexual things were both more comfortable with.
Important to note that he doesn't see any of his issues as from his upbringing, but it feels very obvious to me - though I could be wrong.
The issue is we've decided to TTC. I came off BC, but he just doesn't want sex at all. Even when we've tried, it doesn't work physically. But then if I instigate non PIV things, it works as it should. Yet he says he wants to TTC.
I ended up getting very upset today after another failed attempt. I desperately want a baby, and have for a long time now but it took him longer to agree.
I know getting upset doesn't help the obviously mental issues he has going on with this, but I don't really know what else to do. I've spoken to him about it and he said he doesn't know what's causing it. I feel like a failure as a wife, and like I have no hope at all. I follow the TTC boards and everyone talks about DTD and the 2WW but I don't even have that possibility of hope right now.
AIBU to be upset he said he wants to TTC but then won't act upon it? Any idea how to handle this?
Also regular poster, but name changed out of embarrassment.