To say no to in-app purchases?

[carolinesbaby]

Help me settle a dispute with 12 year old DD.

Are "everybody's kids" allowed to buy things in games on in-app purchases?

We have always given a blanket no to this, because it seems to be a quick route to financial ruin, easy to spend money they haven't got, and expensive for what they actually get. Also because I don't want to enter my card details into Roblox.

Now Dd is sobbing because I said no to spending her birthday money on Roblox coins.

So AIBU to say no?

No, dd 15 here not allowed in-app purchases. (Then again, I don't even allow it for myself....I'm pretty square). But Dh enforces it with dd and she accepts it well.

We allow her most apps she wants though, once DH approves to upload to her phone.

Ds device is linked to my card. But he knows I get a notification for any movement on the card and if he gets something without my permission then he won’t see the device again for a long time! He rarely asked to robux but generally when he does if he hasn’t had any for a while I am happy for him to get some

I wont put my credit card details in, but DS got a roblox gift card for his birthday, so they do exist.

Yes the thread where a young teenager had spent thousands was heartbreaking. The sort of thing that make you think "legislation change" as it so so clearly is an addictive process just like gambling.

It's her birthday money, why does she have to ask you (not "morally" why, I mean, what's physically stopping her from buying a gift card or similar for this Roblox gubbins?).

You're the parent, it's completely fine for you to say it's a bad enough idea that No is the complete sentence here.

Absolutely not.

I would allow it.

The key is to understand how these things work so you don’t end up linking your card and your kid going mental and spending £££. Clearly the vast majority of you saying no are saying that because you have no idea what to do to keep your money safe.

On the other hand, I am glad so many of us spent our pocket money only on worthy items.

You can buy Roblux gift cards from Sainsburys.

Also I'm following this thread to gather opinions, as my nearly 11 year old is constantly arguing with us about this. He says it's his money, his choice, but he can spend £10 and it be gone in a hour then the next day he's asking again. It's exhausting constantly saying no...

@Reachersloveinterest

Help me settle a dispute with 12 year old DD.

Are "everybody's kids" allowed to buy things in games on in-app purchases?

We have always given a blanket no to this, because it seems to be a quick route to financial ruin, easy to spend money they haven't got, and expensive for what they actually get. Also because I don't want to enter my card details into Roblox.

Now Dd is sobbing because I said no to spending her birthday money on Roblox coins.

So AIBU to say no?

If you were to, their are gift cards available to prevent over spending

We allow DSs to buy mine coins/Robux/V bucks occasionally (maybe once a month) for good behaviour. I don't see it as anything to do with gambling, it's just the way online gaming is now, gone are the days you had a CD ROM with expansion packs, now games are free and you pay for the add ons. I just see it as an extension of gaming (irritatingly financially lucrative of course), I used to play the Sims and buy expansion packs for more stuff, my kids buy the coins in order to upgrade their characters etc, not overly different. That said we do severely limit how much they have, I wouldn't let them blow their pocket money on it.

In my experience banning something outright just makes it all the more tantalising and more likely to turn into an issue down the line.

@dementedpixie

What are they playing roblox on?

She plays on her phone. She has a very limited contract with a tiny amount of data and unlimited calls and texts, so if she's playing it's on wifi at home.

Is it android or apple?
If android you can get Play store gift cards and add them to the device. I imagine Apple will have the same for the app store

When ds was in year 6 I subscribed to Roblox for a while. It included some Robux. That was the only in-game currency that he was allowed.

Before that he got Robux voucher at Xmas and/or birthday and he was allowed to spend it how he wanted.

It depends entirely on game and item. In some situations it is little different to buying online games, DLCs or bane of my life expensive monthly subs.

Although, I am still getting over the idea you no longer buy a physical game and it is all online.

But then I am old and still not convinced the thousand or so games DH and I have acquired over the years on Steam and Epic are going to be easily inherited. The accounts are more likely to start an inheritance fight between the boys than the house!

If it’s her own money let her waste it

Make sure she knows that once it’s spent, she will have nothing real to show for it and then let her crack on

I am 51 and I make in app purchases for a game I play, one of three I play, I have little to no interest in computer games or apps generally. However I think considering I have been playing the game for three years and it provides me with a lot of entertainment, why shouldn’t I support the developer by making the odd inapp purchase. It is definitely nothing like gambling, there is no gambling about it. Anyway, if it is her money I think she should be able to spend it how she likes.

It's a hard no here but am pretty chilled about real life spends with their own money.

Absolutely not. All three of my dc ( 16,14 & 12) have always known that it is a big no to in-app purchases.
On the very odd occasion ( maybe four times in the last 6 years) I have relented for something specific but that has only been when it has made a big difference to the use of an app they use for something constructive or one season pass for fortnite).

It's their money, so why not. My son plays Roblox, and buys robucks every so often. But he has to give me the cash before I buy them for him. My card details are saved, but you need a password to access it, so he can't buy any behind my back. As long as they are aware of the rules, I don't see why kids shouldn't be allowed purchase in-app items. My son wasted money on something crap before. He's learned his lesson now and only spends his money on useful items.

Yes within parameters and supervised. I occasionally spend £5 or so on a game so it would be hypocritical of me to say it was A Bad Thing generally.

DD doesn't spend her pocket money on much else... she doesn't ask for magazines, toys or chocolate or whatever. Through in app purchases she has learnt to save up for things, to decide if something is really worth it, and has learnt that mild regret of when you buy a thing and a better thing comes out the following week, if there's a special offer.

She doesn't ask for much and she doesn't spend frequently. There are many things kids (and adults) spend money on that are basically rubbish, I don't think this is inherently worse.

Also yes to paying the developers something for what I'm playing. That's no worse than paying to watch a movie or whatever, which you also have nothing to show for once it's over.

My kids ask me first. I ask them what it’s about and what it’s for, is it worth it. Sometimes they say yes, sometimes they change their minds as I’ve suggested they think about it. They use their own money

I don’t allow my kids to, but sometimes I do feel mean as apparently ‘everyone’ does. But then ‘everyone’ is also allowed McDonald’s every other night, late bedtimes, and to the big park alone.

I have spoken to my older two and explained how these games are designed to encourage in app purchases and I’ve explained that I dislike the addictive nature of them. They seem to have gone off roblox recently though, hopefully it lasts.

Another app we had massive issues with was the Harry Potter game a couple of years ago. It advertised itself as free, however it was basically impossible to play properly without making in app purchases. It was designed so that you needed the in app purchases to move forward and was so frustrating, especially to a child. We ended up deleting.

We allow our DC to buy the gift cards (with their own money) so we don't have to enter our card details.

We allow it even though we think it's a terrible waste of money. How many of us were heartbroken over never getting a Mr Frosty or a Cadbury chocolate maker thingy? And we never did as our parents said they were a waste of money. Which they really are but I'm still not over it.

There's limits to how much they can 'waste'. They either never regret it so it's not a waste of money no matter what I think or they do regret it and it's a learning experience. They generally end up somewhere in the middle and don’t fritter it away and spend just a little on what they reeeeeaally want.