To think “Gently,....” is weird stage directiony English?

[RickiTarr]

If you want to say something gently, say it gently,

You don’t have to preface a gentle comment with “Gently,...” if it’s genuinely gentle, and you don’t make a tactless comment by sticking “gently...” in front of it.

Why is this suddenly a thing?! I’m not seeing “Comedically, you should hit him in the head with a melon.” Or “Heartlessly, you should just get a grip and take in ironing.” So what’s this “Gently,.....” nonsense all about?

AIBU to think it IS nonsense?

@ThePlantsitter

The real life equivalent is that you can say anything you like to a small child as long as you put 'darling' on the end.

Yes!

I just saw the post you are referring to before reading this thread! It struck me as odd as well, you wouldn't say it out loud as it wouldn't sound right, but obviously English might not be the first language of these posters. It does sound like a stage direction (with emphasis) I agree!

I’m a bit freaked out that half of you know what I mean, half of you have no clue what I’m talking about and one of you thinks I’m talking about a single individual.

Maybe we need a 'this is meant kindly/gently, but get a grip' emoji - Mary Poppins, perhaps?

As for whether it really is gentle, it's like the use of "with all due respect" which is often said before saying something disrespectful. I'm an Alan Partridge fan, and in the Podcast series there is a bit about how you can say anything you like as long as you do it with a laugh, as with a laugh the other person can't take offence.

Yes and yes @Icecreamsoda99

@HunkyPunk

Maybe we need a 'this is meant kindly/gently, but get a grip' emoji - Mary Poppins, perhaps?

Oh go on - suggest it on site stuff just to see what Tech say.

I know what you mean OP, I have noticed it on various threads lately usually followed by some advice that the poster thinks the OP may not want to hear, usually with a rather condescending tone (well that's how my mind "hears" it when I read it anyway).

@HeronLanyon no, it rarely works for us either! But it’s at least acknowledging that I’m making the effort to not call her an idiotic twat

At least I’m not completely alone in this.

YANBU. It's like a 'Polite Notice'. If it's polite then you don't need to state that it is such. It just is.

TBF “Poor you” gives me the rage too, and it’s obviously meant well in context, but it looks so patronising written down. So maybe I’m not the best arbiter.

"Oh my love" and "Oh sweetheart" makes me irrationally irritated when a poster is upset.

It shouldn't, because they're obviously just being kind but it just rubs me up the wrong way for some reason.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

And I don't think it's a specific poster. It's getting used by few. This is how language fashion starts. Like Hollyoaks made half a people do "You was"🙈

At least when a scriptwriter is writing multiple parts you can see how they attribute the same linguistic tics to them all. Sloppy but explicable.

I don’t like the contagion of these things IRL (or in electronic life).

@WorraLiberty

TBF “Poor you” gives me the rage too, and it’s obviously meant well in context, but it looks so patronising written down. So maybe I’m not the best arbiter.

"Oh my love" and "Oh sweetheart" makes me irrationally irritated when a poster is upset.

It shouldn't, because they're obviously just being kind but it just rubs me up the wrong way for some reason.

Some foreigners do that irl. "My darling" from my Arabic speaking friends is adorable yet irritating yet nice because I know what they are basing it on (it's used in their language). With English natives, it goves a vibe of patronising for some reason

@ThePlantsitter

I don't think I've seen that exact construction. But it might as well be a warning that the next few words are going to be the most breathtakingly insulting thing you've ever read. Sometimes people need to hear it. Sometimes the writer is just a bastard.

😂 Yes it is often a preface to a devastating takedown of the poster

I think it’s a forum thing, people pick up on what others have said, make it shorter for simplifying their response, and then let it out into the wild, where it will soon be another over-used phrase to irritate everyone with!

Some foreigners do that irl. "My darling" from my Arabic speaking friends is adorable yet irritating yet nice because I know what they are basing it on (it's used in their language). With English natives, it goves a vibe of patronising for some reason

Yes I recognise that. You do adjust your parameters depending who you are talking to IRL. I think the “poor you” that grates on me is very English Upper class, so I think I’m safe in that one.

@BIWI

Are you sure you're not singling out one specific poster here?

Give us a hint @BIWI

I can’t work out who you mean. Have you identified the originator?

Yes of course I know. But also, of course, I'm not going to name them

Well no not a name, obviously.

Some foreigners do that irl. "My darling" from my Arabic speaking friends is adorable yet irritating yet nice because I know what they are basing it on (it's used in their language). With English natives, it goves a vibe of patronising for some reason

Yes, a lot of Indian/Asian people use 'dear' as a term of politeness. Yet on the internet, it just sounds really stroppy and sarcastic.

Don't you think dear?

😂

@WorraLiberty

Some foreigners do that irl. "My darling" from my Arabic speaking friends is adorable yet irritating yet nice because I know what they are basing it on (it's used in their language). With English natives, it goves a vibe of patronising for some reason

Yes, a lot of Indian/Asian people use 'dear' as a term of politeness. Yet on the internet, it just sounds really stroppy and sarcastic.

Don't you think dear?

😂

Yeah actually that’s potentially quite a minefield when the cues are removed and it’s text.

Oh god, I hope “gently” isn’t a cultural thing or a translation thing.

In real life I heard people say a "gentle reminder" type thing but not so much gently. I would find that annoying though someone said that to me

Oh well it makes a change from arguing “tele or telly”, “poo or pooh”.

To “gently” or not to “gently”?

@WorraLiberty I gently agree my darling 😁