To ask for help resting

[Hop27]

I've had a tough 6 months, 4th round of IVF failed, huge stress on marriage, stressful senior leadership role in work, isolated as an ex pat and a pretty serious attempt on my life 3 months ago. I've been holding it together (just) and my marriage has stabilised, feeling very supported and loved by DH. However a few very stressful events at work led to me being taken to A&E by the police because I was showing warning sides of being suicidal again. I've been discharged from the acute care team and I've been told to take 1 week off work as a minimum and to rest. However, if I won't/can't rest I've to go in to a private hospital for respite care. I am an active relaxer and struggle to switch off. I recognise that I'm completely burnt out, but have no idea how to rest. I've completely emptied my fridge and freezer, completed an inventory, meal planned, I'm tidying up before my cleaner comes and I found myself planning how to completely gut, re-organise and fitout my walk-in. AIBU to need help resting before I end up being sent into hospital for forced rest.

Hi OP.

I think the things you are doing are ok as
Long as they are interspersed with walking and reading etc and some slightly gentler things.

It does sound like you need to work on techniques for finding some still and quietening your mind which will help you when you return to work. Mindfulness. Breathing exercises. Yoga. A bath? Listening to a podcast.

In terms of gently active relaxation. I like baking, jigsaws (a revelation-thought they were for old people)), sewing or cross stitch. Gardening and generally being in nature and beautiful surroundings.

I used to be similar until i totally burn out. Now i understand that doing some exercise or reading a book or having a long bath or shower (when there are jobs i can be doing) is not an indulgence it is meeting a need and
Caring for myself. Its no different at all to making sure i eat or have enough to drink. It is not normal to feel a need to be constantly busy.

I would also sit quietly and think about strategies for coping with life when it ramps up again.

I like accupuncture and have a
Cleaner. And get my nails done occasionally

You need a jigsaw and some knitting, a pile of audio books, a book club membership, maybe a crafty, fiddly hobby like modelmaking or embroidery. Watch the sewing bee and buy some new recipe books. Sort your bookshelves and read whatever you've not read. Go to the library and get some recommendations for new writers. Find some podcasts - there are all.sorts of undiscovered obsessions just waiting for your attention!

The only thing that empties my mind is hard, aggressive exercise. I find peace in those moments of struggling to catch breath or feeling sweat drip from you onto the floor. I train to a high intensity and I'm currently struggling without that crutch. It's been 5 days without it and before that is was 14 days straight of pushing myself to the limit, so I know it does as much harm as good.
I have such high standards of myself, I wish I
could let go!

it will take more than a week for your mind to slow down. Can you get about 3 week off work? you need enough time off that you aren't thinking about work emails or what will happen when you are back in the office.

Things like knitting or a jigsaw puzzle in front of rubbishy day-time TV are a good way to keep your hands busy but let your brain start to relax.

I saw this book on my library app last night. Maybe it would help and if not at least sitting down to read it will give you some rest!