Does anyone else have a DH who's a useless Dad

[starsandacheesymoon]

DH is hopeless, unhelpful, uninvolved, at work al the damn time. We struggle to parent together when he's about as he undermines me. I suppose I'm used to parenting pretty much solo. He mainly is on his phone watching stupid videos of sped up DIY or on BBC sport.

I get annoyed when he's home as it should be easier with two parents, but it isn't. I'm not sure the DC particularly love him. I mean I try to talk him up and we got him Father's Day stuff, but the man is so ungrateful and moody. I sort of resent having to insist the kids adore him on Father's Day.

AIBU to make so much effort, with getting the DC to make cards and sorting gifts when he's an arse? I don't believe in badmouthing to the kids, but I can see how it can happen when relationships spilt. Hell I have to bite my tough and we're still together.

Not anymore.

But he has come into his own now the children are older. Delegated football and bike riding and swimming.

DS even started one of DH's hobbies and DH not even interested in taking him to that, and says he's not very good, I mean he's only 5 and so keen. The thing is DS loves it and so I take him and DC2.

that's awful.

It's not the dad who is missing out, it's the children, and it's not fair.

What does he actually bring to your life other than money?

Sorry to be blunt but I just can't see the upside in remaining with a man like this. It is ultimately damaging to your children to have the point constantly reinforced that their dad doesn't care about them. I speak from experience.

I'm not going to minimise the fact that separating will be difficult but I really think your children will ultimately be far better off being without a dead weight who brings nothing to the table. Even if they are materially poorer.

Really it's a straight choice: quality of emotional life or quality of materially comfortable life. Also don't for a minute overlook what this is teaching your children about parenting their own children when the time comes.

I did have one like this useless, no help or support whatsoever plus put all his life admin on me, that & the Lack if sex ontop I got rid & divorced. So much happier now 3 years later I didn't realise until a year later how much he oppressed me & was just another burden for me to deal with.

[quote starsandacheesymoon]@khakiandcoral I have tried to talk about it, but he just makes excuses like he's tired and he has said he's not good at playing with the kids or it's boring. It hard to talk with him as he raises his voice as soon as he gets defensive, you can't have a discussion. I've tried different angles, like me wanting an hour off, but he says things like " I made them breakfast." He will make them toast, but not sit at the table with them or talk to them. He'll stand watching sport on his phone. You get the idea.

DS even started one of DH's hobbies and DH not even interested in taking him to that, and says he's not very good, I mean he's only 5 and so keen. The thing is DS loves it and so I take him and DC2. [/quote]
Small children are tiring and boring sometimes but that's just life. Did he not realise that before he had them.

Your poor poor DS. He's "not very good" so your DH isn't interested?! He's 5 FFS! Your DH needs to fucking grow up. He sounds absolutely pathetic. I couldn't live with a man like that. What kind of message do you think it's sending to your DS?!