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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want to give her the baby toy?

29 replies

Thistledew · 20/06/2021 16:34

Someone posted on my local Facebook page asking if anyone has a baby sit-up ring playmat they are happy to part with.

I have one that DD has long since outgrown. I got it second hand myself but it's in great condition. I don't really want any money for it so I replied saying that she was welcome to have it.

I then found out that she wants it for a litter of puppies.

I'd love to pass it on to a parent with a new baby, particularly if they are not in a position to buy such kit new, but it seems like a real waste to give it to someone to use for dogs.

IABU and precious, aren't I? Should I just let her have it or should I hang on to it and give it to someone who wants it for a human baby?

OP posts:
Zari29 · 20/06/2021 16:36

I would feel the same as you.

BlackberrySky · 20/06/2021 16:39

It's your toy, and up to you who you pass it on to. If you would prefer another child to enjoy it, then that's your perogative and you can say that to the dog woman.

Crazycakelady17 · 20/06/2021 16:39

Why would she want it for puppies a play pen sure but those donut ring support things? Are not exactly huge
I would just let her have it now you have said yes

Whinge · 20/06/2021 16:40

No idea if you're being unreasonable, but i'd feel the same. I once gave away some cuddly toys and the woman who collected said they might last her dog a week, as he loved to chew them. It's daft but I hesitated before handing them over as it felt like such a waste.

Hellocatshome · 20/06/2021 16:41

Have you advertised it and has anyone been interested in ot for a baby? You may prefer it to go to someone for a baby but does anyone actually want it? Better to go to some puppies than landfill.

Gullible2021 · 20/06/2021 16:44

My friend uses childrens' toys like playmats for her foster rescue pup litters. It actually warms my heart to see it and it wouldn't bother me at all. In fact I'd love it. I get to see all the lovely pics and so do potential adopters. The toys have lasted through lots of litters.

Lots of churches and community centres have baby banks for those who are struggling. Or women's refuge. Just donate it to one of those if you don't want the puppies to have it.

Original poster
Thistledew · 20/06/2021 16:44

I'm also not keen on back yard breeders, which I suspect she probably is!

OP posts:
Gullible2021 · 20/06/2021 16:49

@Crazycakelady17

Why would she want it for puppies a play pen sure but those donut ring support things? Are not exactly huge I would just let her have it now you have said yes
My friend uses them because it "mimics" their mum as they cosy up to it. Sometimes it's because they don't have a mum, sometimes it's to give mum a chance to heal or rest, sometimes it's to get them to learn to feel safe away from mum as she prepares them for new homes. She likes these especially when their eyes haven't opened yet as she knows they will be safe and feel more secure.
purpleme12 · 20/06/2021 16:49

Just say you can't find it now
Can't see how it's practical for puppies?

Bksjshsbbev2737 · 20/06/2021 16:49

I don’t really get it but it’s yours to do what you want with so make an excuse and don’t give it

PomegranateQueen · 20/06/2021 16:53

I would feel the same as you OP, I would want to help another parent. I also wouldn't want to risk helping a puppy farmer, they can deduct the cost of a new one from thier profit.

TheSockMonster · 20/06/2021 17:00

It’s totally irrational, but I’d feel the same as you.

I also had a similar pang of regret with the children’s old teddies when the woman collecting them told me what she planned to do with them!

Ultimately I realise it’s tied to some sort of problem attaching emotions to stuff and moving on from the past. I cope by channeling Marie Kondo: acknowledging the gratitude I have to the items for their good service and happy memories, accepting their service to me has ended and disposing of them in the most environmentally sound way I can.

tabulahrasa · 20/06/2021 17:03

I’d kind of think... if she’s breeding to sell for the stupid amount puppies are going for and possibly making 10-20k from pimping out her dog...

She can blooming buy stuff for them

Kanaloa · 20/06/2021 17:04

I get it. In my family there is a baby chair which was used for my sils babies plus my younger two, now it has been passed to DH’s cousin. It’s lovely that it lasted so long and so many babies had use out of it, as it’s an item that can only be used for a few months. Puppies would surely ruin it so then it couldn’t be passed on and used by another baby.

Susannahmoody · 20/06/2021 17:05

YANBU.

I had a peg perego highchair that I offered to give to a friend - who then said her aunt wanted it and would I deliver it?!

Er no. I offered it to you. Not the aunt. I don't like the aunt.

TempName01 · 20/06/2021 17:22

I offered some lovely baby comforters to a lady and was also a bit miffed to find out later it was for dogs. Also not really the same thing but a lady was asking for plastic bags. I had loads which I couldn’t bring myself to throw out so was really happy they would be getting reused - then found out she used them for bin bags 🙄

MadeOfStarStuff · 20/06/2021 17:25

As PP said if she’s breeding puppies then she’ll be making a lot of money from them and can bloody welll buy what she needs for them

If it’s a genuine rescue I’d probably let her have it though.

tallduckandhandsome · 20/06/2021 18:00

Nah, tell her someone else wants it for a baby.

TheGoogleMum · 20/06/2021 18:09

I agree great condition seems a shame to go to dogs who wouldn't care if it was in less good condition. But if nobody else is interested it might be better than nothing

ShinyGreenElephant · 20/06/2021 18:14

If shes a breeder then no chance as I think its completely immoral. Rescue puppies maybe

2bazookas · 20/06/2021 18:32

Just say "No, sorry. I prefer to help another parent."

Bumzoo · 20/06/2021 18:48

Puppies cost a fortune. I'd just block her

Streamside · 20/06/2021 19:33

If it's the Galt type with the inflatable ring say that it's perished or punctured.

AdobeWanKenobi · 20/06/2021 20:06

"Oh sorry, seems DH has promised it with a few other bits to a work colleague for their newborn"

And I absolutely get how you feel.

billy1966 · 20/06/2021 20:27

I wouldn't hesitate to tell her that actually some wants it for a baby.