Father's Day on FB

[CushionsandCandles]

I've got several friends who have had acrimonious splits with their first husbands/partners. Their children still have lots of contact with their birth fathers (often truly co-parenting) but the mums have met new partners and seem very happy.
Many have posted pictures of their new partners today together with kids saying "thanks for being such an amazing father to X and Y" we are so lucky (some are quite over the top).
Is it me or is this really off? Just feels a bit awkward to me. If I was ExDP/DH I'd be seriously peed off.
Maybe it's just signalling???

yes that is crappy behaviour.

its not like the dad can post something themselves. And it would not be the place of their new partner either really. Most FB posting is done by the kids (ie me to my 70+ dad) or mums to their kids dad (if younger)

It's a bit off if their dad is actively involved

@PurpleyBlue

It's a bit off if their dad is actively involved

Is it? It's ok to acknowledge both?

It is but they only have one father. Unless their dad has abandoned them and doesn't make any effort it seems a bit off to me. It would be different saying thanks for being a father figure or stepdad. But I guess it depends on if the kids genuinely see him as a father or if it's being pushed on them by mum.

YANBU, one of my friends has bought her new partner a ‘papa bear’ top and posted a message ‘from our little Princess’. Which I think is a bit odd really, as her ex has their DD 50% of the time and is a very involved father. I would be very hurt if DH and I split and he bought his new partner a ‘mama bear’ top.

When I was young there was no Facebook but I would have wished happy Father's Day to my dad and my stepdad. Having my SD in my life was a positive, and my dad could see it. He always says he was glad my mum met someone nice, he had no beef

I do think it’s fine to talk about how the step dad is a great role model/ father figure though.

I think it’s fine to recognise step fathers in person but I think for people to post it on Facebook is often to just make a point

My friend is a stepdad and a dad to a 4 yr old and the kids also see their father. The mum posted on FB about how wonderful he is with the kids (which he is) but no mention of their real dad.. i found it very odd. But she is the type of person who has landed on her feet with this guy and likes to tell the world about it too. She would not have the life she brags about without him.

I just find it odd no post to thank the real dad.

What I think is more interesting is that so many women post a Father’s Day post about their child’s father but you don’t see this kind of thing on Mother’s Day. If men post on Mother’s Day it’s generally just about their own mums, not their kid’s mums. I do wonder why that is.

I have noticed this a lot this year too. One friend I know I think has been with her bloke coming up to a year, there was a gushing post about how amazing he is, how her two older kids adore him and she can't wait for him to be a new dad for their upcoming baby.
No mention of the other three children he has.

I think it's inconsiderate.

@Rosesareyellow valid point.

Declarations like this on Facebook are just crap anyway. From attention seeking idiots. Like their life is that great. No it probably isn’t.

I’ve seen this today from someone who I very much like and respect and I was quite shocked tbh. While her ex is a cheating bastard and lowlife who is most likely going through a mid-life crisis, he hasn’t deserted the kids. He is there for all important events and while I can’t stand him for what he did to her, I have to acknowledge that he does support his dc. The new partner also has his own dc who were not mentioned.

Personally I think this should really be done in private, but I don’t really post on social media anyway so fully accept that I’m a bit out of the loop with the done thing.

I think sometimes women post this stuff just to get at their ex partners essentially using the children as weapons. It's not nice but people often aren't sadly.

I was thinking it was odd that my brothers ex posted about her new partner and nothing about my brother - but then I remembered that he did absolutely nothing to recognise Mother's Day for her. Not even a card from their kids.

I agree, it is using the kids as a weapon against their ex.

I have absolutely no idea why anyone posts on FB about their family members. Can't they just say it in real life? Phone call? Text?

No. Has to be for public consumption or it doesn't count.

It depends. I think if the birth father is playing an active role in parenting his children its a bit tactless. If the dad is completely out of the picture and the new husband/partner is very established as a step parent its a slightly different matter.

YANBU, ive noticed this today. I’m a single mum and I’d only do this if the dad was completely uninvolved. As much as I bitch and moan about my kids’ dad, I wouldn’t want him to be hurt by something like this. He’s still their dad and loves them. And yes, I still got him Father’s Day gifts and cards etc from them

It's fine to acknowledge the importance of step parents. My dad and stepdad are equally important to me, stepdad has been a very positive part of my life. To put it all over FB though, unless you're doing it for both step and bio dad, is a bit off I think, although don't really get this plastering stuff all over FB in the first place.

I'm not friends with my DDs dad on facebook so if I put anything, saying how great he was he wouldnt see it so what would be the point? But acknowledging my DP who is a great Stepdad he would see it.

Yanbu. Dh's ex posted how amazing boyfriend is with their kids ( one is dh's.) SD doesn't like him. But she's gushing on FB what a hero he is.
DH has 50/50 and is always there for kid.
Pmed DH to tell him what a great dad he is. Didn't get SD a father's Day card or anything.
Bit of a kick in the balls but FB is attention seeking sometimes.