To think that I don’t need to meet someone else

[cadburyegg]

Split with H 6 months ago. 2 kids age 6 and 3. Lots of people tell me I can meet someone else and try again for the happy ever after, even had one friend who says that a handsome man might sweep me off my feet and I could have another baby.

I don’t want more children, i don’t want to get married again, I have no desire to have a blended family. I don’t have any desire whatsoever to date and meet men although I’m sure there will be a time where I feel ready to date again. but I’m fed up of the narrative that to “move on” I have to be happy with another man. Can’t I just be happy with my two kids, my job and my life the way it is? Why is there this idea that to be truly happy I have to “settle down” again?

Would be great to hear from others who have been through similar.

I was the same OP. All my energy was given over to living my new life with my children (all teens) finding a new home, and my job.

It took me quite some time to get my head around the change in my circumstances. The idea of bringing another man into the mix never even occurred to me and I definitely had no desire to find one. And getting married again? Not in a million years.

Having more children wasn't an option for me but it would most definitely not have been on the agenda had I had been able to.

I eventually, started dating someone about 5 years after my divorce and I was ready by that time. That relationship lasted 5 years but we never lived together. I'm happier on my own, something a lot of people don't seem to realise is possible for a woman.

Agree that people project their own ideas on others to a crazy extent. I had someone tell me to 'get back on the horse' about a month after my ex left me for another woman. I'm now 4 years on and whilst I would never say nothing would never change, right now I can't even stand the thought of being with anyone else.

YANBU. Too many people end up in bad relationships instead of realising that being single is not a bad thing in many cases.

I do think we need to change the narrative about happiness coming from being part of a couple. It’s ok to be single and it’s ok to want to be single. My greatest happiness has come from not being in a relationship! I have grown up DC so I’m not looking for someone to start a family with and all that. I would see a relationship as a burden. Something that would hold me back and I just don’t need or want it. People do seem to struggle to understand why I’m not out there looking.